Difficulty cumming during oral - male

[djjwp]

I feel your pain (or not the pleasure as well) as I too have a very hard time. I can count twice, The first time with the ex after we got home from playing with another couple in separate rooms, when I got her home she blew me, took it doggy and then tied down, in the back side (God I miss being young!) Second time was with the wife on the Beach doing 69 at Hedo II where we were being watched as we played.

Only if I am really excited does it happen and its mental, she can blow better than the big bad wolf but if the setting and mood are not there, zip. What gets me going is being watched and her being submissive.

[Pierced-n-Proud]

G'day all,
Well I seem to be in the majority here, finding it difficult to cum no matter who is giving the BJ. I do remember a time early on in our 28 year marriage when Mrs P & P would only need to place her lips around my cock and I'd be gone. Now she can go for what seems hours with no result. The only differerence I can see is that I had a circumcision at the age of 25. I'm not sure how much of the "curse" is attributable to the loss of feeling in my glans due to its exposure and rubbing etc (and that loss of feeling has been considerable) and how much is attributable to just getting older. Since the circumcision 21 years ago I've managed to only cum orally 3 times all with Mrs P&P but the oral sex is still great.

[MikeandDawn]

Originally Posted by tittietwister

Any other guys out there have a really hard time getting off from oral stimulation? I have no problems cumming vaginally or with a hand but it takes me a really long time to get there through oral stimulation. It creates some uneasy moments when the women seem to think it should happen quickly.

Any ideas on how to improve?

Yes, been that way my whole sexual life. Sometimes a woman has taken it too personally, but I just have to reassure her it's me, not her. Dawn is so used to it that it's a non-issue for us anymore. When she's ready for my load, she just lies back and lets me masturbate into her mouth. Maybe once a year I'll cum with just her sucking, and we've yet to figure out any pattern. I wouldn't worry about it.

[tittietwister]

Originally Posted by realcplub2

Let me ask a question that most might not have considered..

Have you ever had a previous lover, tell you NOT to cum in her mouth.. This very thing the stigma of are they cool with taking/getting it? do they want it? are they gonna freak?..

No, but I have had the experince many times of seeing various indications that they didn't like despite saying that they did so yes, that's probably ceated a mental uneasiness as I don't want a woman to do something for me if it doesn't also bring her pleasure.

I also recently had an experience where the lady and I were having a great time and said that I could not cum in her pussy (we were bareback). When we were done with fucking she asked me to cum in her mouth. Just couldn't do but it still felt good.

[MsGingerLynne]

Wow! I think the most informative post on this thread was this one! So much so, that I HAVE to comment. Now...this comes from a married female who has never had any complaints about giving oral. In fact, hubby usually sings me praises and begs for more! Soooo.....

Originally Posted by Vjklander

It helps a lot if the female really enjoys giving head. If she doesn't and is just doing it to please the man they both will know it and performance suffers. The female needs to be 100% tuned into the man. She has to be aware of his responses to her ministrations. There is nothing guaranteed here.

There have been a handful of times that I am NOT into it, or do not feel like I am 100% tuned into him. But I know how much he loves what I do, so I happily oblige. Those times have never seemed to affect my performance or the amount of time that it takes him to get there.

Originally Posted by Vjklander

Try sucking in so the sides of the cheeks clench on the penis. If you have a good angle, press the penis against the roof of your mouth with your tongue. This gives a lot of pressure and feels great, but risks scraping the penis with your upper teeth if the angle is not up and in.
Another alternative is to use the hand(s) to stroke the shaft of the penis and just suckle the head. This also feels fantastic and the stroking can be done by the woman or the man himself. The man can also just masturbate until he is on the brink of coming and then the woman can suck him through his orgasm.
It helps tremendously if the woman swallows. The difference in sensation is so great, any more, I don't even bother if a woman doesn't swallow.
If you really really want to give mind blowing head, locate your local BDSM group and sign up for a class on fellatio given by a gay guy. Believe me, you will not be disappointed.

I agree with all of the detail. I think receiving head can only be as good as the person is who is giving it. I have seen A LOT of porn, and some of those women could barely suck a Dum-Dum sucker let alone a cock. I sit there in amazement that they even get paid to do such a lousy job! (For those not familiar with Dum-Dum suckers, as it may be a local thing since I live within an hour of the facility that makes them --- They are suckers that are only about as big around as a dime or penny.)

My idol is/was, of course, Ginger Lynn. I watched her long before I EVER gave my first blow job. She uses many if not all of the techniques that are mentioned above. I think a lot of women just think they can stick it in their mouth and just started moving up and down. That is so NOT the case! There has to be a lot of other movement going on down there. I love to use my tongue to really play with the spot right under the tip of his head. And I use my hand at the base while doing that.

I do agree that it helps if the woman swallows. I am not a man, but I think I would feel "unaccepted" if a woman isn't willing to swallow.

As far being taught fellatio by a gay guy, I don't think I could do that. But I would highly suggest looking into videos teaching the technique or checking out some of Ginger Lynn's stuff. (No, I am not really her - so I am not trying to advertise my own work or anything!! LOL)

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by Vjklander

t helps a lot if the female really enjoys giving head. If she doesn't and is just doing it to please the man they both will know it and performance suffers. The female needs to be 100% tuned into the man. She has to be aware of his responses to her ministrations. There is nothing guaranteed here.
Try sucking in so the sides of the cheeks clench on the penis. If you have a good angle, press the penis against the roof of your mouth with your tongue. This gives a lot of pressure and feels great, but risks scraping the penis with your upper teeth if the angle is not up and in.
Another alternative is to use the hand(s) to stroke the shaft of the penis and just suckle the head. This also feels fantastic and the stroking can be done by the woman or the man himself. The man can also just masturbate until he is on the brink of coming and then the woman can suck him through his orgasm.

I'm with MsGingerLynn in saying that this is a very informative post. I'm no expert by any means, but I've found the above techniques to be very effective--especially the part about being tuned into the guy.

=)

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by twohots4u2

I have known only one woman who could get me off orally every time. She had a technique with her tongue on my frendum that just sent me quickly through the roof. Only a few others have been able to make me cum with oral.

I was thinking this but was afraid to say it. I'm glad you did. There are some women who just seem to be able to read my mind and play me like a violin. Others go through the movements but fail to sense my direction.

[Mr. Sweet]

Well, I have to say that as long as it's the beginning of the night....I can normally cum from Oral....makes me happy!!!! Of course, going along with all the posters here there are definitely those girls that more talented than others and it all figures in from technique to attraction to setting.

As we move on in the night.....it's much harder if not impossible for me to cum from oral on round 2 and beyond.

......what ever happened to those wet dreams during puberty......memories.....

[newlythree]

It definetley is common for guys to not climax during oral. Alot more than you think it would be....so....you are not alon.
My wife can usually make me blow my top in minutes with her fantastic oral skills. She has this little trick she does with her tongue on the bottom side of my shaft while I am in her mouth that just sets me off!!! But when we have a friend over, I can go a long while being sucked and not cum.
I do think the key is distraction; or more of a mental thing if you will.

[rdy46227]

Dumb question here... What is "oral" sex (on a guy)?

I always classed oral sex as adding the lips/mouth to hand work, squeezing, stroking, clasping balls, neigh even a finger on the prostate. My spouse has a "full court press" that can take me from zero to orgasm in under 100 seconds, and "full court" means she's stimulating my cock every way she can.

But reading between the lines, I get the feeling that "oral" in this discussion, means everyone's hands are behind their back, and only allows lip/mouth/tongue contact with the penile shaft...

My answer does depend on the definition... True "no hands" takes a lot of prep and sometimes the right phase of the moon. Obviously, the more techniques allowed, the faster I can cum.