Would you play with someone who has undergone gender reassignment surgery?

[bbarnsworth]

I never saw this thread before, and read it from beginning to now. I saw some opinions voiced that seemed to carry the impression that gender is a two box thing. Either male or female. This couldn't be further from the truth. It's the 'truth' we are brought up to believe, and all the forms we fill out say "male" and "female" on them, but the reality it starkly otherwise. The problem is that it is very frequently pushed down out of our sight because it is so socially unacceptable to be something other than exactly male or exactly female.

The reality;

According to estimates, there are about 450,000 people in the U.S. alone that are classified as having sexual ambiguity sufficient that medical intervention occurs. More than 3,000,000 people in the U.S. have physical conditions (not mental...physical) classifying them as intersex. Millions. Let that number sink in.

These people aren't freaks. They aren't aliens from Pluto. They're not disease ridden (as one person implied in an earlier post). They aren't dangerous. They aren't malicious. They aren't out to fool you. By and large, these people are just trying to have a normal life, as much as they can.

A normal life includes sexual interaction with other humans. Should they be denied that because of something completely beyond their control? I find that absurd and morally repugnant to even begin to consider. I have challenged different evangelists about this before, and all but two of them failed miserably in this, insisting these people must be denied the pleasures of sex. How disgusting is that?

Now keep in mind; this is just the arena of physical conditions, not mental ones. There are large numbers of people who, despite no physical condition of intersex, nevertheless feel they appear as the wrong sex. Virtually NO research has been done in this arena, with just one study I'm aware of (I'm no expert, just been to two seminars in diversity conferences) that was referred to by an earlier poster (though not by name) who noted that transgendered people can be identified by cat scans. This is only partially true, and it was a small study. There's almost no research in this arena.

Given such a lack of research, any castigation of these individuals as being morally bankrupt, weird, etc. is just hate. Nothing but hate. Why would any person willingly subject themselves to the hatred and ostracism of society for trying to appear as the opposite sex of that which they were born with? It isn't fun for them. I heard one of them describe at as a form of hell. They are motivated to do it because of who they are, not because it's fun, kinky, unusual, or attractive.

Attraction, contrary to popular belief, isn't based on what's between a person's legs. You don't know what is between a person's legs unless they show you. You base your physical attraction on secondary sexual characteristics. The appeal of those characteristics is independent of their chromosomal and/or hormonal makeup. As another poster noted, there's Thai transgendered people that you would NEVER know are transgendered, and they are stunningly beautiful as m2f women.

Now that said, the thought that a person has has re-assignment surgery might repulse you. Honestly, that's fine. But, until you find that out your attraction/repulsion to/away from a person isn't based on their sex re-assignment status. It's based on what you perceive them to be; either a person you are attracted to or not.

Me personally, I'm not physically attracted to people I perceive as being men. I am attracted to people I perceive as being women. If I were in a swinging situation, and I found myself very much attracted to someone, I personally wouldn't be repulsed if shortly before we played I found out they had at one time been equipped with a penis. I'd still be attracted to them if they have all the rights parts a woman typically has. If instead they were presenting as a woman but turned out to outwardly still be male, I'd not be interested.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by bbarnsworth

These people aren't freaks. They aren't aliens from Pluto. They're not disease ridden (as one person implied in an earlier post). They aren't dangerous. They aren't malicious. They aren't out to fool you. By and large, these people are just trying to have a normal life, as much as they can.

A normal life includes sexual interaction with other humans. Should they be denied that because of something completely beyond their control?

No, but that doesn't mean I'd want to play with them.

Even if they had the most perfect surgery and looked 100% female, they wouldn't react to sex the same as a true female.

I feel sorry for such individuals, it must be horrible to feel as they do, but sex is out of the question for me.