Bored with Sex? Or Bored with Ourselves?

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by gatorvol64

I'm not sure how strange this is (and I can be a "strange cookie") but, I find the more I have sex, the more I want sex. When life gets in the way of me having sex, I seem to stay there (and I've dug a deep rut there in the past)...not wanting sex. Then I have to consciously make an effort to make love. I find that extremely sad in a way but I also find there are times it is unavoidable.


Vol

If you are strange then I am too, because I am exactly the same way.

[Ellyanne77]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

If you are strange then I am too, because I am exactly the same way.

Ditto on that. About once every two months we will go and get a really nice hotel room at like Opryland hotel or the Hilton downtown and just order room service and drinks and just go at it all night. So many of our friend ask us why we spend money on hotel rooms in our own town. We think it is just nice to be totally into each other and not laying in bed thinking about the laundry we need to do, or why the kids had drug all their toys into our bedroom again. So many times we get ourselves all worked up at the house around 8:00 and by the time we cook dinner, put the kids to bed and let our dog with the pea sized bladder out 400 times, we look at each other and just know it's not going to happen tonight.

[TNT]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Reading this made me think of something that I've thought about a time or two before. The whole concept of getting bored with sex, or growing tired of it or disinterested in it. I can't help but wonder if in reality what we are bored with is ourselves. As this story illustrated it's not about spicing up the "sex life" so much as it is sometimes just spicing up our lives that does the trick to reigniting what may have become a dull sex life.

I'm not so sure it's so much boredom...I think its more stress, time, life obligations...all those things that get in the way of people not remembering to have fun....Stop and smell the roses.

Ted and I have had it happen to us. For about a year, life had become CRAZY...stress and time issues were the cause,...work, family, four kids running in four different directions...we had become almost like roommates instead of husband/wife and lovers. What we did, when we realized what was happening and that we had better fix this, was make a promise to each other...in well over 15 years we have NOT broken that promise.

We decided that a date night was going to be scheduled on the calendar...NOTHING and I mean NOTHING would interfere. Kids were told that that one night was ours and they were not allowed to make plans, if family called wanting us to do something, they were told no, anyone calling wanting us to do something were told no. We stopped the world for one night a month. It didn't matter what we did, but we were going to leave the house and just be the two of us...some nights it was nothing more than going to the river and watching the water flow by.

What we found was that as long as things were good between us, everything else in our lives found a balance, we became more relaxed and way less stress found it's way into our lives. Things could be blowing up around us and we really didn't care.

Even now there are still times that those pesky life obligations and stress will sneak back in but...we always know that date night isn't far off and we'll be able to stop the world for a few hours and reconnect with each other.


Teresa

[Bunny&Ed]

About two years ago, Ed and I realised we were in a rut. Everything about our lives was boring...We essentially had everything we wanted, good jobs, beautiful home, the kid raised and out on her own. Our laptops and sex when we wanted it, but we were so lonely. How could we be lonely with ourselves. We were. So one day we decided to toss everything in the air. We threw a dart at a map and moved to Michigan from Arizona. Bought a fix-um-up house, became nudiest, made dates with each other every weekend and got out of the house. Then last november added swinging to our fun. We're busier now than ever, and think, wow, we need a break....How, about sitting at home on saturday night, just the two of us....(Isn't it funny, how things come full circle...)

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Bunny&Ed

About two years ago, Ed and I realised we were in a rut. Everything about our lives was boring...We essentially had everything we wanted, good jobs, beautiful home, the kid raised and out on her own. Our laptops and sex when we wanted it, but we were so lonely. How could we be lonely with ourselves. We were. So one day we decided to toss everything in the air. We threw a dart at a map and moved to Michigan from Arizona. Bought a fix-um-up house, became nudiest, made dates with each other every weekend and got out of the house. Then last november added swinging to our fun. We're busier now than ever, and think, wow, we need a break....How, about sitting at home on saturday night, just the two of us....(Isn't it funny, how things come full circle...)

That is so funny. We've been working hard the last few weeks to get busy. A year ago we never really had time to be bored because we were only together on the weekends and that involved one of us driving 2 hours each direction, so we always made use of the time we had together and didn't waste it sitting at home on the couch. Now that we have all the time we want we are finding that we seem to take it for granted, so we have to make an effort to make sure that whenever we can we get out and enjoy ourselves. I've been thinking lately that I want to get to the point where I'm wishing for a night to "just stay home".

BTW, I think it is so cool that you guys just up and moved across the country. Makes me feel better about our thoughts of doing the same (well not across the country just back to Nashville).