The problems of middle age

[MJC]

Both my wife and I are 54. I've noticed in the last couple of years that while my sex appetite is still strong, my ability to stay hard is on the wane. I can get 80% of what I used to, just not the 100% hard of my youth. My wife, who has a much lower libido, isn't moist anymore, in fact many times is dry (even after much oral). My semi-erect hits dry and the results are very frustating. I can't get penetration and then I lose erectness....no fun. Also, my wife doesn't like for me to use a lubricant for fear of a yeast infection. Anybody else encountering this? Are there any good female lubricants? Thanks for your help

[joaninla]

My girl friend's husband is about your age and in a similar situation. They both swear by the (prescription) medicine of the Boston Medical Group. Check it out, I know they have a web site w/ the info; it might sound tramatic, but the reality is very different. I know they have offices around the country, and no, I have absolutely no connection with them. Good luck.

[warkman]

I'm your age. Viagra and Cialis work well for me. Also, I find staying in shape (exercising) quite helpful. Check with a doctor first, especially if you're on heart/blood pressure medication of any kind. My wife is five years younger and we often use water based lubricants (Astroglide, Wet, Colt Slick,) and have never had a problem with yeast infections. However, if your wife is prone you might want to try the silicone based lubes such as Eros Pjur. Check this thread for more info on that.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by MJC

Both my wife and I are 54. I've noticed in the last couple of years that while my sex appetite is still strong, my ability to stay hard is on the wane. I can get 80% of what I used to, just not the 100% hard of my youth. My wife, who has a much lower libido, isn't moist anymore, in fact many times is dry (even after much oral). My semi-erect hits dry and the results are very frustating. I can't get penetration and then I lose erectness....no fun. Also, my wife doesn't like for me to use a lubricant for fear of a yeast infection. Anybody else encountering this? Are there any good female lubricants? Thanks for your help

Hi MJC, As your wife's production of estrogen goes down, likewise her production of self-lubricant during sexual arousal goes down. I'm 47. One year ago, I had to have my ovaries and a tumor removed (bye bye, estrogen). Since then, I've been on prescription hormones. I get just as wet as I ever did. Will your wife consider going in to her doctor about the dryness, and seek medical treatment for it? Her experience is completely normal, and often very fixable with modern science.

I have never heard of a yeast infection being caused by a good-quality lube. Where did she get this information? Ob/gyn's recommend lube for women in her situation. I'll bet that if she asked her doctor, she would get the facts and wouldn't be afraid of lube.

Your erection: again, normal, but there are things you can do about it. Like someone else already said, regular exercise can be a great boost for you. It increases the blood flow, including to your penis. Exercise also boosts your body's natural production of testosterone. Additionally, you can see your doctor and get a quality prescription to help erections.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by MJC

Both my wife and I are 54. I've noticed in the last couple of years that while my sex appetite is still strong, my ability to stay hard is on the wane. I can get 80% of what I used to, just not the 100% hard of my youth. My wife, who has a much lower libido, isn't moist anymore, in fact many times is dry (even after much oral). My semi-erect hits dry and the results are very frustating. I can't get penetration and then I lose erectness....no fun.

Also, my wife doesn't like for me to use a lubricant for fear of a yeast infection. Anybody else encountering this? Are there any good female lubricants? Thanks for your help

What you are experiencing is absolutely natural and just happens as we age. You are not wrong, you are normal. I would suggest going to see your doctor. He will make sure that medically you can tolerate meds and will put you on one of the pills ie. Viagra, Levitra, Cialis...and have fun. Please see your doctor before you start taking these...it always scares me when we are at parties and the men are passing them out like Brachs candies. The FDA monitors these pills for a reason. Jay cannot take them because of his hypertension so please see a dr.

Your wife: Again, natural. I'm 35 and there are parts of my cycle where I am dry as the desert. I don't have issues with them causing yeast infections personally....the Texas humidity takes care of that. I would suggest she call her ob/gyn and just ask, they will tell her what lube is best.

HAVE FUN!

[tribbles]

Look for lubes without glycerin and no flavored ones!

http://www.babeland.com/shoppingadvice/lubeadvice

There is also vagifem http://www.vagifem.com/ but it sure did change the way I tasted so I went to bio-identical hormone replacement.

[ShellyM]

Hey MJC,
Believe it or not be careful in spending a lot of money on the fancy dancy lubes (they can get very pricey). In truth old fashioned KY works the best for us....or Target brand or Equate lol. They work great. No scents in them, water based. They have worked great for us.

[Charmed6879]

I am only 28, and have major problems with vaginal dryness. I can also look at an antibiotic and get a yeast infection. I have found that any lube that contains glycerin causes me to get a yeast infection. It is a natural sugar and some women are much more sensitive to it than others. KY is now selling a very reasonably priced silicone based lube that I like, but only use it with my hubby since it is not latex safe. There are also water based lubes that are glycerin free, but they are a tad pricier. One is Liquid Silk, not sure of the maker, but I think it's a UK company. I found it online at a site called the lubery. Hope this helps a little. We used to prefer good old Astroglide, but I found that within days of using it I was having not so pleasant reactions, but there are fabulous alternatives out there if you look hard enough.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Charmed6879

I am only 28, and have major problems with vaginal dryness. I can also look at an antibiotic and get a yeast infection. I have found that any lube that contains glycerin causes me to get a yeast infection. It is a natural sugar and some women are much more sensitive to it than others. KY is now selling a very reasonably priced silicone based lube that I like, but only use it with my hubby since it is not latex safe. There are also water based lubes that are glycerin free, but they are a tad pricier. One is Liquid Silk, not sure of the maker, but I think it's a UK company. I found it online at a site called the lubery. Hope this helps a little. We used to prefer good old Astroglide, but I found that within days of using it I was having not so pleasant reactions, but there are fabulous alternatives out there if you look hard enough.

Cool, I'll look into that myself.....omg charmed, I love that tat!

[des1re06]

I learn something new every day I come here. I had no idea glycerin contributed to yeast infestions. Why didn't my Gyn tell me that?? After I had my tubal and Novasure, I noticed a difference in my moisture level as well.

Switching as soon as I can get it.

Thanks for the tip!

[Charmed6879]

Thanks Shelly. I also have several other tattoos, hehe.

No one ever told me about it either until I read about it online and then specifically asked. Then it wasn't the ob/gyn that told me, it was the midwife who delivered my youngest two kids (I have three). Like I said, I'm very prone to yeast infections and I knew something had to be causing them. I used to get one every few months and no one knew why, now I might get one once or twice a year since I've totally avoided glycerin.

[avid]

I hear you about the yeast infections, charmed.

Another thing you can do is increase your population of "good" bacteria, both in your intestinal tract and vagina. The reason yeast can overgrow is because of a shortage of lactobacillus in your body. You can restore the balance by taking a supplement of probiotics. There are a number of them on the market. The will likely contain some form of lactobacillus/acidophilus bacteria. You can can also get these bacteria in yoghurt, but if you eat a yoghurt sweetened with sugar, the sugar in the product will also feed the yeast, which kind of defeats the purpose. In Canada, you could try BioK, a great liquid probiotic. I'm not sure if it's available in the U.S., though.

[here2play]

For a lubricant you can keep on hand, there is something called "just like me". It's very light and very effective. I have used it with no trouble.

[Charmed6879]

I have used acidolpholous (sp?) quite a bit when I was nursing my children. It did help considerably but as long as I am not taking antibiotics and stay away from sugars around my privates then I am good for the most part. Thanks so much for the info though, it's always a good idea to keep in mind.