Please tell me how you started anal...

[here2play]

Hi. I have never had anal sex, not even with my current SO. However, during oral he began playing with my ass a bit, not a big deal. So we went to the store together, to pick out a small toy to use while he is in me, because of the sensation he gets from a vibrator being in as well. He was exteremly turned on by that. So I experiment with him, because I trust him. Before, he always said he could take or leave anal sex, but as we explore many new things together, he is now mentioning that someday he would like to. It still makes me nervous. So, anyone care to share?????

[sexcupid]

Relaxation is key. Also trusting your partner goes a long way in helping with the relaxation. What I mean by that is, if you tell him you are hurting or uncomfortable...he will stop or slow down at your request. Or maybe go back to doing something that WAS feeling good (the toy, fingers, etc).

It will probably be uncomfortable, and maybe a little painful. But lots of lube and an understanding partner can work wonders.

However, if there is any doubt in your mind, your body will speak for you. If you aren't aware..there are 2 sphincter muscles. The outer is a voluntary muscle (you can conciously control it), the inner is an involuntary muscle. There is some good info on wikipedia...but basically the inner reacts to your subconcious feeling. If you have underlying doubts, even if your brain and your mouth say, ok...it's not going to. Those muscles work (for lack of a better example), like breathing...you don't have to conciously think for them to do what they are supposed to do.

I was lucky with my 1st husband. He was very patient and things worked out well. I am scared to try it with anyone else for the most part b/c I am not sure of the patience level...and that is one thing I don't want to be rushed on.

PM if you like,

Maria

[Cerberus]

I am versed in anal also and +1 for th above post.......something else to think about is an enema or colonic to clean you out.

Anal sex is fun. My wife loves it but the stars need to be right. time relaxation. and wetness

My spouse gets so wet that when have anal we start on her side in the spoon position and then roll over with her on top and me on my back. I insert then. Her butt become self lubricated from her vagina.



any ways clena yourself out

[lovinher]

Relax.
Be patient.
Start with a small toy or finger if needed.
Plenty of lube.
Go slow, especially at first.
I watch for any signs of discomfort and adjust accordingly.
Simple as that.

[here2play]

Thanks for the replies so far, seems like we are right on track!

[happycouple256]

very gently

[WesternSwing]

The "secrets":

1) First, buy the book The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino. Mrs. WS read it from cover to cover and we have been having incredible anal sex since. In fact she brags to other women about the orgasms she has from anal and DP now.

2) Lots of foreplay involving more than just her ass. I've found that lots of oral and slowly inserting a finger in her anus, working that for awhile, then inserting another works well.

3) Never insert your penis until you can get at least two fingers in her anus comfortably.

4) Lots of lube before inserting your penis, on both her anus and your penis.

5) Have her find a position that is most comfortable for her when inserting. For some women this is doggy-style, others find it easier on their side (like spooning) and some like it missionary. Every woman is a little different on what is comfortable and what isn't, so don't think there is just one position that you can do anal in.

6) Insert slowly, allowing her to relax as you do... and breath out. I've found that starting the penetration myself, but then allowing her to push back as she's comfortable to take me in works well. Don't rush it!

7) Fuck her ass slowly, do not pound it like the porn stars do. I've only known one woman in all my years that liked it "fast and hard" in her ass, and even at that I think she was trying to put on a show for me because she thought from watching porn movies that that is what guys want. Go slow and steady, let her control the pace and listen to how she wants it done.

Do those and you're almost guaranteed a positive anal experience.

Mr. WS

[CBYLW]

If you haven't done anal, I think one of the best ways to loosen up is with butt plugs in the shower. It might even take a couple of weeks. Start off with a small butt plug for several days, until you are comfortable with it and then move on to a larger size. After you are comfortable with the butt plugs you should be able to handle the real thing. Of course an enema or some such thing should be used prior.

[ShellyM]

I'm not an expert at this by any means. I love finger play with my anus but anymore and I tend to get nervous and then I tighten up my muscles. I have found that when I come straight out of the shower that works really well, I'm all loosened up and relaxed. If you expect pain you are going to feel pain, so really try and consiously relax....Jay is going to read this and tell me I need to practice what I preach lol, so I'll hush now.
Shelly

[here2play]

Alot of useful hints here! I am reading alot on enema beforehand, is this the norm?