getting more "mature" or is it just not "special" anymore?

[sepacouple]

My wife and I are in our mid-forties, have a great relationship, and have had a couple of soft-swing type activities in the last few years. I have realized that in the last couple of years that I really enjoy looking at women, especially good looking ones .

I know, I know what guy does'nt. Seriously, what I mean is that I just enjoy how a women looks (of any age), whether it is just on the street or at the nude beach, or nude pictures especially if she is confident and comfortable with her looks. But, thinking back 15 or 20 years ago it was more like WOW, look at those tits, look at that cleavege, look at that tight ass in those tight fitting jeans, etc.

Part of me thinks that I have just matured and appreciate women for their beauty and part of me wonders if it is just what the "morality types" say, that since I did not reserve the "specialness" of a naked woman for only my wife, I no longer find a naked woman "special" (BTW- I still love watching my wife get undressed).

Does any else have or had this conflict or is it just me?

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by sepacouple

(BTW- I still love watching my wife get undressed).

I guess my question would be then - what have you lost?

I know exactly you mean. I often marvel at the way I can walk through the club, where there might be a pile of women on the dance floor writhing naked and moaning loud enough to drown out 100 decibels of R&B... I almost never stop to watch anymore, weaving my way through a crowd of folks standing around like they've never seen anything like it before.

Hell - get out of my way, I want a Diet Pepsi...

I think it is a "used to it" thing.

I haven't yet gotten to the point where the nakedness of my playmates doesn't thrill me, but the random pile of bodies, or the woman who comes to the club just to be watched or the porn playing in the background - it doesn't do a thing for me.

Spoomonkey

[couplewanting50]

Originally Posted by sepacouple

My wife and I are in our mid-forties, have a great relationship, and have had a couple of soft-swing type activities in the last few years. I have realized that in the last couple of years that I really enjoy looking at women, especially good looking ones .

I know, I know what guy does'nt. Seriously, what I mean is that I just enjoy how a women looks (of any age), whether it is just on the street or at the nude beach, or nude pictures especially if she is confident and comfortable with her looks. But, thinking back 15 or 20 years ago it was more like WOW, look at those tits, look at that cleavege, look at that tight ass in those tight fitting jeans, etc.

Part of me thinks that I have just matured and appreciate women for their beauty and part of me wonders if it is just what the "morality types" say, that since I did not reserve the "specialness" of a naked woman for only my wife, I no longer find a naked woman "special" (BTW- I still love watching my wife get undressed).

Does any else have or had this conflict or is it just me?

Perhaps, and I am meaning this in a relatively speaking kind of way, in the distant past your appreciation of women was more superficial.

Now, you have a deeper and more complex appreciation of women and femininity. You don't have to see her breasts to have a visceral awareness of her physical and emotional charms. You project to that, and want to be close to this woman you regard from a distance, want her scent, the heat of her skin touching you, the sound of her voice, all of that. You enjoy the little details that you have come to learn. You delight in them.

You have a more sophisticated, experienced, and yes, mature, appreciation of women, and it allows you to like more women than before, and to like them more than before.

[BiloxiCouple]

As a swinger you have matured and don't have the desire to disrespect someone playing by gawking and probably commenting out loud.

It's okay to watch. Just more better to be involved.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by sepacouple

Does any else have or had this conflict or is it just me?

I did. But then I snapped back. Don't mean to scare you guys by saying this -- Maybe there really is such a thing as male menopause.

[rdy46227]

Yes. The "lust circuitry" doesn't kick in as much, and it's related to physiological aging, just as older women don't get as wet as they did in their younger days.