Fake Orgasms - by the Guy!

JB_KitKat · 11-26-2002, 06:02 PM

Just need to find out if others out there fake it or not. My guy (I am his wife) and I have been together for 13 years and during that time have absolutely incredible sex. We are both sexually compatible and like it the same frequency (about 4-5 times a week). We have a bond that is so strong. A lot of the bond is from our intimacy of our incredible sex life. Sex is a very high priority for both of us. I love to watch his face, body, everything - while he is cumming inside of me. I feel that makes us even closer, everytime we have sex. Our sext usually ends with an "I love you sooooo much" type of talk.

Well we were talking about orgasims and fake orgasims. I asked him if he ever faked it (now if I had 20/20 hind site I would never have asked him that - but it was something that just came up - no big conversation going on or anything - just casual talk -which most of our talk is about sex). He said yes, a couple of times a year. And he has since we have been together. That was like a slap in the face. It hit me hard and I am still troubled by it. Not that I feel our relationship will end over it or anything that harsh. I am having a hard time getting past it.

We all have 'off' times when we might want to cum but can't - I know I do. I am 40 years old and I have never faked an orgasm. If I can't cum then I just say so and move on (which happens maybe 3-4 times a year). I still enjoy sex anyway. He said he faked it because he didn't want me to feel that I didn't turn him on enough - to give him some credit here I do have some confidence problems from time to time.

But my problem is that I think of that face-to-face time when he is inside of him and how I just love to watch him cum, I can't help but wonder, was that just an act? Now I wonder when we have sex, when he is cumming, is this one an act? is it fake? So sex has not been the same since I found out about the fake act. He says that it was only 2-3 times a year (that would be 35-30 fake times since we been together). I feel that if we can't be real with each other, then who can we be real with? I wonder what is real? I also feel like a fool for loving that moment so much when it might have been fake. It feels like such a lie during the time a couple is so intimate.

I know I'll get over this, I love him so much, but I have to ask - how many of you guys fake orgasims? And why?

OhioCouple · 11-27-2002, 09:23 AM

This topic came up recently. Here is a link to that which may answer a few questions for you.

Have you ever faked an Orgasm?

Would you have rather had your husband lie to you and then you caught him in it later down the road? It sounds to me that he was being honest when asked a question. That is what a good relationship is built on. Honesty.

You said yourself there are times that you just can't achieve orgasm and you just move on, but you enjoy the sex anyway. Is it any less pleasurable for your husband to be looking into your eyes knowing that you are being fullfilled? I don't believe that one must have the ultimate every time to enjoy the pleasure, closeness and bonding that occurs when you are looking into your soul mates eyes. Sometimes that is pleasure enough.

I wouldn't in any way feel cheated if my husband was not able to achieve an orgasm or if he faked it. The closeness that we share when mating is most important as it is felt with love. The hugging, stroking, kissing are just as erotic as the final consummation.

I have faked orgasm myself several times with my husband and I did not feel the need to tell him so, nor did I want him to try to continue to hold off in an effort just to bring me over the top. I was no less aroused and the look in his eyes and the pleasure on his face was no less pleasurable for me than had I had an orgasm myself.

I think you are reading way to much into this. If you are making love 4-5 times a week and it is only happening 2 or 3 times a year, then you are indeed a very lucky woman.

Topic moved to "Sex Questions Forum"

Lori

JB_KitKat · 11-27-2002, 12:56 PM

You hit the needle on the head but not with the subject that I meant. I do not want my husband to lie to me - and faking an orgasm is lying - plain and simple. I also don't think that he has to cum (or me) to still really enjoy sex. So then why fake it? To have a relationship that is so intimate and full of love and to find out 13 years later that for the last 13 years some of the times that I thought were great was just a fake feeling/emotion - well that sucks. If you can't be honest with your spouse, then who can you be honest with?

The only one you benefit from faking orgasms with is yourself - you let yourself off the hook - take the cowards way. Instead of being honest with the person you are with. I think if we had a poll that asked if you would be hurt if someone faked an orgasm I believe the majority would say YES!!!

darling · 11-27-2002, 01:17 PM

I personally feel men are under more pressure then us women. They must be "up to perform" and they are expected to reach orgasm everytime unlike women. Its a man pride thing and I think its something you should just accept and move on about. To make an issue of it will only make more stress. Women are expected to be more in touch with their feelings.

TeamSoBe · 11-27-2002, 02:50 PM

Women get pretty upset about it if you tell them that it's not working for you and you want to stop. I'll admit to having faked it, including with my wife.

It's strange, she and I were just talking about this a day or two ago, I think that she saw something about it on television or something. We both admit to putting on an act every once in a while for the other person's benefit, and it isn't a big rift with us. If it happened all the time for one of us then that might be different.

darling · 11-27-2002, 03:03 PM

I totally agree. Women will think the man is not finding her attractive and she will take it personally. As long as its only an occasional thing, what harm is being done.

I sometimes will act interested in sex when I'm not because he wants to and I want to make him happy. Most of the time, I will actually get in the mood once we start. If he felt I was having sex with him when I wasn't really in the mood, not only would it upset him, but it would take away from his enjoyment. Its the same as saying fine when someone asks how you are, or being polite when you are grouchy. Its all about the give and take. He does the same if I want to eat at a certain restaurant and although I know its not his favorite, he will say that's fine. You try to please one another.

J & K · 11-27-2002, 08:16 PM

"J" here---the male half---of "K". Faking the big "O" for a man. Well--it is 50/50 good and bad. Bad that he has too and good that he wants you to feel good that you are having a great sex session. You asked and he was honest about it.

What??? Should he dismount you after a wild moan and say, "Honey--I just fake an orgasm for you". Heck no!!!! Him doing that is just a way to please you in the long run of that sex session.

Maybe he fakes when it isn't great sex, but when it becomes sexercise instead. That means going for the long run. OK---my wife has cum after 20 minutes of hard love making and she still is getting off. I am still hard and it still feels good. Well--after 30 to 45 minutes she gets sore and I haven't cum yet. Should I fake it and moan like crazy and roll my eyes back? Heck no---I just say---sorry honey---I am out of steam.

So look at it this way---He remains hard for you and wants to please you no matter what it takes. Hey---if he had to fake it to please you---so be it. Don't hold it against him. He did it out of LOVE---not to lie to be bad. So move on and accept it.

Tell him from now on he don't have to fake one, just to tell you he can't go on anymore and the next time will be different. Take the pressure off him. You two sound so much in love after all these years and going into a swinging mode you two are on the right track to being honest. So feel lucky that you have a man like that. Take care!!

sportync · 12-10-2002, 04:35 PM

There's being honest and there's being brutally honest. Both are honesty, but there's hardly a need for the later. If your wife was in a really big hurry and she asked you, "does my hair look o.k.? The roots were beginning to show and it could use a little more hair-spray, but you tell her that it looks great because you know that her self-confidence is more important than her hair style and you also know that another 10 minutes of messing with it will make no difference in her appearance, it will only make her late. I think your husband was just trying to assure you that he was having a good time and that he still found you attractive. The fact that he was still sporting an erection should have made that quite evident in itself, but he loves you, so he did what people in love do....namely anything they can to make the one they love feel special and wanted. So don't be too hard on him....God must have had a sense of humor....He created guys, didn't he?? And He definately has a rather perverse sense of humor, because he created women! Sportync
:p

ciscosv · 12-10-2002, 05:05 PM

There are alot of aspects to sex. I wouldn't take it personally if my wife faked it occasionally. I have on several occasions. These times are usually when I am rotten drunk and can't cum. The sex gets to the point where I just physically can't keep going and either decide to hop off and give up or just fake it.

Then again I can have silent orgasms too. I will stop and my sweet spot will ask, "Did you cum?". My answer is, "Hell yeah baba!."

jimmyhollywood · 12-11-2002, 03:00 AM

Yes I have faked it on at least 8 or 10 occasions. The first time, I felt like an idiot faking it. Every time I did, it was with 2 different girls. And for some reason we just went at it for probalbly an hour and a half, and I could'nt keep up the pace any longer. I remember racing home still with a raging hardon, and j/o. It seems funny now looking back, but at the time i was concerned. I chalk it up to several things with me, her and us.

lovers · 12-15-2002, 09:03 PM

I (the male half of this couple) have faked it when I'm wearing a condom. That's becuause condoms (any type) take away the sensation that I need to pop unless my partner is extremely tight. It's been said by others here that men are under tremendous pressure to perform. I have to agree with that. Not all women are sensitive enough to "to let the guy off the hook" so to speak and really want a guy to cum during sex. I'm not saying that to get under anybody's skin, but to illustrate how some guys perceive things.

If we could let things happen and not worry about the "big o," then I think this topic would be a non issue.

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11-26-2002, 06:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
JB_KitKat Registered Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 5 Location: New Orleans	Fake Orgasms - by the Guy! Just need to find out if others out there fake it or not. My guy (I am his wife) and I have been together for 13 years and during that time have absolutely incredible sex. We are both sexually compatible and like it the same frequency (about 4-5 times a week). We have a bond that is so strong. A lot of the bond is from our intimacy of our incredible sex life. Sex is a very high priority for both of us. I love to watch his face, body, everything - while he is cumming inside of me. I feel that makes us even closer, everytime we have sex. Our sext usually ends with an "I love you sooooo much" type of talk. Well we were talking about orgasims and fake orgasims. I asked him if he ever faked it (now if I had 20/20 hind site I would never have asked him that - but it was something that just came up - no big conversation going on or anything - just casual talk -which most of our talk is about sex). He said yes, a couple of times a year. And he has since we have been together. That was like a slap in the face. It hit me hard and I am still troubled by it. Not that I feel our relationship will end over it or anything that harsh. I am having a hard time getting past it. We all have 'off' times when we might want to cum but can't - I know I do. I am 40 years old and I have never faked an orgasm. If I can't cum then I just say so and move on (which happens maybe 3-4 times a year). I still enjoy sex anyway. He said he faked it because he didn't want me to feel that I didn't turn him on enough - to give him some credit here I do have some confidence problems from time to time. But my problem is that I think of that face-to-face time when he is inside of him and how I just love to watch him cum, I can't help but wonder, was that just an act? Now I wonder when we have sex, when he is cumming, is this one an act? is it fake? So sex has not been the same since I found out about the fake act. He says that it was only 2-3 times a year (that would be 35-30 fake times since we been together). I feel that if we can't be real with each other, then who can we be real with? I wonder what is real? I also feel like a fool for loving that moment so much when it might have been fake. It feels like such a lie during the time a couple is so intimate. I know I'll get over this, I love him so much, but I have to ask - how many of you guys fake orgasims? And why?

11-27-2002, 09:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,616 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	This topic came up recently. Here is a link to that which may answer a few questions for you. Have you ever faked an Orgasm? Would you have rather had your husband lie to you and then you caught him in it later down the road? It sounds to me that he was being honest when asked a question. That is what a good relationship is built on. Honesty. You said yourself there are times that you just can't achieve orgasm and you just move on, but you enjoy the sex anyway. Is it any less pleasurable for your husband to be looking into your eyes knowing that you are being fullfilled? I don't believe that one must have the ultimate every time to enjoy the pleasure, closeness and bonding that occurs when you are looking into your soul mates eyes. Sometimes that is pleasure enough. I wouldn't in any way feel cheated if my husband was not able to achieve an orgasm or if he faked it. The closeness that we share when mating is most important as it is felt with love. The hugging, stroking, kissing are just as erotic as the final consummation. I have faked orgasm myself several times with my husband and I did not feel the need to tell him so, nor did I want him to try to continue to hold off in an effort just to bring me over the top. I was no less aroused and the look in his eyes and the pleasure on his face was no less pleasurable for me than had I had an orgasm myself. I think you are reading way to much into this. If you are making love 4-5 times a week and it is only happening 2 or 3 times a year, then you are indeed a very lucky woman. Topic moved to "Sex Questions Forum" Lori __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W. Last edited by OhioCouple : 11-27-2002 at 09:40 AM.

12-10-2002, 04:35 PM	#8 (permalink)
sportync Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 232 Location: eastern north carolina	There's being honest and there's being brutally honest. Both are honesty, but there's hardly a need for the later. If your wife was in a really big hurry and she asked you, "does my hair look o.k.? The roots were beginning to show and it could use a little more hair-spray, but you tell her that it looks great because you know that her self-confidence is more important than her hair style and you also know that another 10 minutes of messing with it will make no difference in her appearance, it will only make her late. I think your husband was just trying to assure you that he was having a good time and that he still found you attractive. The fact that he was still sporting an erection should have made that quite evident in itself, but he loves you, so he did what people in love do....namely anything they can to make the one they love feel special and wanted. So don't be too hard on him....God must have had a sense of humor....He created guys, didn't he?? And He definately has a rather perverse sense of humor, because he created women! Sportync :p __________________ this ain't no dress rehearsal

12-10-2002, 05:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
ciscosv Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 750 Location: Redford, Michigan Status: Married Couple	There are alot of aspects to sex. I wouldn't take it personally if my wife faked it occasionally. I have on several occasions. These times are usually when I am rotten drunk and can't cum. The sex gets to the point where I just physically can't keep going and either decide to hop off and give up or just fake it. Then again I can have silent orgasms too. I will stop and my sweet spot will ask, "Did you cum?". My answer is, "Hell yeah baba!." __________________ M&M Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

11-27-2002, 12:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
JB_KitKat Registered Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 5 Location: New Orleans	You hit the needle on the head but not with the subject that I meant. I do not want my husband to lie to me - and faking an orgasm is lying - plain and simple. I also don't think that he has to cum (or me) to still really enjoy sex. So then why fake it? To have a relationship that is so intimate and full of love and to find out 13 years later that for the last 13 years some of the times that I thought were great was just a fake feeling/emotion - well that sucks. If you can't be honest with your spouse, then who can you be honest with? The only one you benefit from faking orgasms with is yourself - you let yourself off the hook - take the cowards way. Instead of being honest with the person you are with. I think if we had a poll that asked if you would be hurt if someone faked an orgasm I believe the majority would say YES!!!

11-27-2002, 01:17 PM	#4 (permalink)
darling Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 180 Location: Ohio Status: Couple	I personally feel men are under more pressure then us women. They must be "up to perform" and they are expected to reach orgasm everytime unlike women. Its a man pride thing and I think its something you should just accept and move on about. To make an issue of it will only make more stress. Women are expected to be more in touch with their feelings.

11-27-2002, 02:50 PM	#5 (permalink)
TeamSoBe Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 507 Location: South Beach, Florida Status: M. Half of Couple	Women get pretty upset about it if you tell them that it's not working for you and you want to stop. I'll admit to having faked it, including with my wife. It's strange, she and I were just talking about this a day or two ago, I think that she saw something about it on television or something. We both admit to putting on an act every once in a while for the other person's benefit, and it isn't a big rift with us. If it happened all the time for one of us then that might be different.

11-27-2002, 03:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
darling Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 180 Location: Ohio Status: Couple	I totally agree. Women will think the man is not finding her attractive and she will take it personally. As long as its only an occasional thing, what harm is being done. I sometimes will act interested in sex when I'm not because he wants to and I want to make him happy. Most of the time, I will actually get in the mood once we start. If he felt I was having sex with him when I wasn't really in the mood, not only would it upset him, but it would take away from his enjoyment. Its the same as saying fine when someone asks how you are, or being polite when you are grouchy. Its all about the give and take. He does the same if I want to eat at a certain restaurant and although I know its not his favorite, he will say that's fine. You try to please one another.

11-27-2002, 08:16 PM	#7 (permalink)
J & K Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 189 Location: Middle GA Status: Couple SLS Name:OKC_CPL	"J" here---the male half---of "K". Faking the big "O" for a man. Well--it is 50/50 good and bad. Bad that he has too and good that he wants you to feel good that you are having a great sex session. You asked and he was honest about it. What??? Should he dismount you after a wild moan and say, "Honey--I just fake an orgasm for you". Heck no!!!! Him doing that is just a way to please you in the long run of that sex session. Maybe he fakes when it isn't great sex, but when it becomes sexercise instead. That means going for the long run. OK---my wife has cum after 20 minutes of hard love making and she still is getting off. I am still hard and it still feels good. Well--after 30 to 45 minutes she gets sore and I haven't cum yet. Should I fake it and moan like crazy and roll my eyes back? Heck no---I just say---sorry honey---I am out of steam. So look at it this way---He remains hard for you and wants to please you no matter what it takes. Hey---if he had to fake it to please you---so be it. Don't hold it against him. He did it out of LOVE---not to lie to be bad. So move on and accept it. Tell him from now on he don't have to fake one, just to tell you he can't go on anymore and the next time will be different. Take the pressure off him. You two sound so much in love after all these years and going into a swinging mode you two are on the right track to being honest. So feel lucky that you have a man like that. Take care!!

12-11-2002, 03:00 AM	#10 (permalink)
jimmyhollywood Registered User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 2 Location: Texas Status: single male w/ swing partner female	I faked, then went home to j/o.....lol Yes I have faked it on at least 8 or 10 occasions. The first time, I felt like an idiot faking it. Every time I did, it was with 2 different girls. And for some reason we just went at it for probalbly an hour and a half, and I could'nt keep up the pace any longer. I remember racing home still with a raging hardon, and j/o. It seems funny now looking back, but at the time i was concerned. I chalk it up to several things with me, her and us.

12-15-2002, 09:03 PM	#11 (permalink)
lovers Delightfully Naughty Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 273 Location: Toronto, Canada Status: Couple SLS Name:Dalovers	I (the male half of this couple) have faked it when I'm wearing a condom. That's becuause condoms (any type) take away the sensation that I need to pop unless my partner is extremely tight. It's been said by others here that men are under tremendous pressure to perform. I have to agree with that. Not all women are sensitive enough to "to let the guy off the hook" so to speak and really want a guy to cum during sex. I'm not saying that to get under anybody's skin, but to illustrate how some guys perceive things. If we could let things happen and not worry about the "big o," then I think this topic would be a non issue.

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