Who is the more forward partner?

[AmyNGreg]

Something that I've always wanted to ask, but never really had the outlet.

In your relationships in swinging is it the wife or husband that's more forward?

In our relationship, Amy is the one who's more take charge when it comes to social situations and sex. I love it, but sometimes I feel like I should be more "pro-active". I have this overwhelming social shyness when it comes to meeting new people and feel like I usually end up making an ass of myself.

I'm great when it comes to things like forums and chat, but in person I'm a wreck. Amy says it's cute when I blush and get flustered, but my question is actually two parts:

Is the man in your relationship like this and if so, is there a way around it without mood-altering drugs?

-Greg

[sereneiders]

The same happens for me.

It's not a matter of being shy, altough my wyfe is more skilled in the chit-chat you need to sart up.

But in general, in the club we use to go, it seems the game is being set up mostly by the women.

I believe it's a cultural thing regarding the place we male's are supposed to have, where it's supposed we are less mmmm... picky than women, and at least for me, if I like a couple, I may start an approach but once done I let her go on as for me to be able to measure my wyfe temperature. Perhaps we trend to follow these little cultural things and feel the need to ensure our wyfes are confortable enough, something we can assure if we let them lead.

[Sweet_Candy]

Originally Posted by sereneiders

I believe it's a cultural thing regarding the place we male's are supposed to have, where it's supposed we are less mmmm... picky than women, and at least for me, if I like a couple, I may start an approach but once done I let her go on as for me to be able to measure my wyfe temperature. Perhaps we trend to follow these little cultural things and feel the need to ensure our wyfes are confortable enough, something we can assure if we let them lead.

Dito on the wife being more selective. <EG>

[just1gurl]

To the shy guys. I think its an integral part of your personality.

I'm attracted to all kinds of guys. Be yourself and enjoy! Since you married someone more outgoing than yourself you won't ever be missing out on life because she will take you new places. She apprently is very comfortable with that arrangement. I've been there and think its an awesome thing that our personalities meshed like that. The hand in glove fit!

Yes there are more upfront men, but then if your like us "take charge" that can sometimes end up a little of a fight for leadership. When we are tired or just for a change - sure - get going boy once in a while! But it sounds to me like you've got a great thing going- so smile, blush, and enjoy!

[Edison Carter]

In group sexual play, women are definitely the ones making the mating selections.

[WesternSwing]

Mrs. WS is more outgoing than I, or so I think. She says I'm more charming. People we know describe us a social butterflies at parties. As far a sex though, it is usually the women that get the ball rolling.

Mr. WS

[gaznrachy]

I (the man) am the one with all the ideas until we get there

My wife is more forward or direct, if she doesn't like him she lets them know and if she does like him....well he'd better watch out

[kingdruman]

i have the most forward intellect you could ever know!

~giggle~

yet, i am the most behind the scenes soul when it comes to social realtionships

i would probably be one horney hermit !! if not for my SO

LOL!!!!!!

now i am 1 horney couple

we are fine and pleased with ourselves 2gether.....

yet...we are enough to want to play with other folks too

so in truth....at times the lady b the shy one

[DBL D]

Well, I think I'm pretty outgoing but I lean on Fem D to make arrangements. It's a lot easier for a gal to initiate things for some reason.

M.D.

[JustAskJulie]

Online we are about equal, but in person I'm probably the more forward one.

[LFM2]

Dave is more forward than I am. When we get a couple in a room, he's all over her And so far, it's been OK because she's all over him, too. I'm a little more reserved in real life. Online, I'm a bit more aggressive.

[Tracey2]

I (the female) am by far the more forward partner. He wouldn't even know how to go about meeting someone online. He is excited for me to set something up but isn't interested in dealing with our profile, e-mailing others or chatting. It's just not his thing...which is fine because I enjoy it. So I just keep him updated on what's going on.

When we actually meet a couple or talk to people at a party, he is friendly but a little more shy than me. As far as actually getting started sexually with a couple, it is definitely up to me. Then he's more than happy to get involved

[spamcatcher]

I do most of the setup work and probably talk more with the others when we first meet, but my wife is often the first one out of her clothes.

Can't say that I really know the answer to the question...

[Second of 2]

Originally Posted by AmyNGreg

In our relationship, Amy is the one who's more take charge when it comes to social situations and sex.

My wife is in sole control of our sex life ... and she does an excellent job, too. What I like best is her imagination, love of variety and unpredictability when it comes to partners and timing. I never know when she's going to strike. She's not a Lifestyle Domme but she has the personality for it. I'm in heaven.

[VanHlebar]

It depends on the situation for us. If we are with folks we are not very comfortable with because we just me them or in a group setting, then I am more of the outgoing person. Once the Mrs gets settled in and is comfortable she really opens up and then she will be very aggressive both with the ladies and the guys.

Most that know us would say that I am the one that will get things started and I am probably more likely to start talking to some strangers (unknown couples) than the Mrs. It seems to work out ok with us, but like some have already said, at a club, it seems that the ladies are the ones that are in charge and they are the ones that normally will get things started. In this regard MrsVan struggles because she really has issues with trying to get the situation from say the dance floor to the play room.

-Van