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Am-BOOB-dextrous?

This is a discussion on Am-BOOB-dextrous? within the Let's Talk About Sex forums, part of the The Topic of Sex category; Last night, Mrs Spoomonkey and I had sex twice... The second time was the long, slow, under-the-cover stuff. ...

View Poll Results: Can you lick your breasts?
I can lick both breasts 34 47.89%
I can lick neither breast 9 12.68%
I can lick "breast left" 2 2.82%
I can lick "breast right" 2 2.82%
I am a guy - and I can lick my own breasts 1 1.41%
I am a guy - and I will lick Mrs Spoomonkey's breasts if she's having trouble 28 39.44%
I am a guy and I lick cow tits when I get drunk and crazy 2 2.82%
Sometimes bird poop tastes like candy 3 4.23%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 71. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 12-29-2005, 07:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Am-BOOB-dextrous?
Last night, Mrs Spoomonkey and I had sex twice...

The second time was the long, slow, under-the-cover stuff. Romantic, soft, made for TV.

Sometimes when we are having the slow stuff, I'll push her breast to her mouth and we will both lick it together - our tongues dancing together over her excited nipple...

Last night, I learned something new about her...

I guess I have just always done her left breast - from my perspective it is her right breast, and being a theatre major, it is only right that she call it "Breast Right" as well, in deference to her audience...

But I digress...

As it turns out - she is not Am-BOOB-dextrous. I switched and pushed her right boob ("Breast Left" for my fellow thespians) to her mouth and... and... almost now... a bit more, and... She couldn't reach it...

Her tongue strained and reached, but to no avail...

I examined her boobs and wrinkled my brow in mock thought (the only form of thought I really ever have). They are the same size - wonderfully balanced - perfectly assymetrical, but alas, one breast - it would seem - is just for me...

What gives?

Can you lick both? Neither? One or the other?

I know this sounds like a clever, perverse request to get all the Swingers Board women to lick their boobs - and maybe there is some warpped motivation behind this thread - but the truth is, I am really curious now. Is my wife broken???

I hope not...

I've lost the receipt...

Spoomonkey
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Old 12-29-2005, 08:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoomonkey
I know this sounds like a clever, perverse request to get all the Swingers Board women to lick their boobs
Well it worked. Here I am sitting at my desk which faces Mr. GT's and I pull my sweater up and lick both breasts. He is giving me the "what the hell are you doing look?" As soon as I discovered that I am amboobdextrious then I explained why I was engaging in this bazzar act so suddenly.
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Old 12-29-2005, 08:12 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs good times
Well it worked. Here I am sitting at my desk which faces Mr. GT's and I pull my sweater up and lick both breasts. He is giving me the "what the hell are you doing look?" As soon as I discovered that I am amboobdextrious then I explained why I was engaging in this bazzar act so suddenly.
Like I said... Not my intent...

But it does give me this inflated sense of power...



Spoomonkey

PS - Intentions aside, I will now wrinkle my brow in mock thought and conjure images...
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Old 12-29-2005, 08:20 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs good times
Here I am sitting at my desk which faces Mr. GT's and I pull my sweater up and lick both breasts. He is giving me the "what the hell are you doing look?"


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Old 12-29-2005, 08:20 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
I can't lick my own but that isn't really a problem because Mrs. Gt seems to always be ready for me to lick hers when I get the urge.

I would gladly pitch in and lick mrs. Spoo's if I could just get Scotty to beam me there.

What I want to know is, how did you know that bird poop tastes like candy Spoo?
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Last edited by good times : 12-29-2005 at 08:50 PM.
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Old 12-29-2005, 08:25 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
Quote:
Originally Posted by good times
What I want to know is, how did you know that bird food tastes like candy Spoo?
I didn't vote for that...

It's an option...

And don't be a smartass - Scotty and I are buddies; I can make it so you never beam anywhere...

Spoomonkey
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Old 12-29-2005, 08:26 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
"I am a guy - and I will lick Mrs Spoomonkey's breasts if she's having trouble"


I will be more than glad to volunteer even if she ISN'T having trouble...no matter how ill-defined that trouble might be. facelick facelick
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Old 12-29-2005, 08:52 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
Quote:
Originally Posted by good times
What I want to know is, how did you know that bird food tastes like candy Spoo?
I thought it was bird POOP that tastes like candy????? Am I missing something? ewwwwwwww

Quote:
Originally Posted by spoomonkey
I know this sounds like a clever, perverse request to get all the Swingers Board women to lick their boobs - and maybe there is some warpped motivation behind this thread - but the truth is, I am really curious now. Is my wife broken???
Nah, I don't think she's broken ... and even if she was, I don't think you would return her even if you DID still have the receipt!

Maybe she wasn't lying at the right angle so that Breast Left would reach to her mouth (or vice versa) as easily as Breast Right does.

I checked it out ... sitting at my desk or lying perfectly straight on the bed, flat on my back, head lifted a bit by pillows, I can lick both breasts/nipples with equal ease. However, if I am lying shifted to my side a little, I am able to reach one breast much easier than I can reach the other.

It's angle, people. And also, for me, it might be because I have "bad boobs" ... but I suppose I qualify as amboobdextrous.

(BTW, not being bi, I wouldn't volunteer to lick Mrs. Spoo's breasts ... but would definitely encourage my husband to do so, though I doubt it would require much encouragement at all. I might squeeze them a bit, though ... I always like to know what "good boobs" feel like. )
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Old 12-29-2005, 08:52 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoomonkey
I didn't vote for that...

It's an option...

And don't be a smartass - Scotty and I are buddies; I can make it so you never beam anywhere...
Thats ok, I wouldn't know from personal experience either......I had to take my dogs word for it.
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Old 12-29-2005, 09:01 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
Mine are too small for me to lick.
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Old 12-29-2005, 09:05 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
Quote:
Originally Posted by good times
What I want to know is, how did you know that bird food tastes like candy Spoo?
Quote:
Originally Posted by txduo2000
I thought it was bird POOP that tastes like candy????? Am I missing something? ewwwwwwww
Sorry, it was, but I was eating dinner while I typed that the first time, and sometimes I have a one track mind. (I edited it after several people brought the error to my attention)
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Old 12-29-2005, 09:07 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vespertine
Mine are too small for me to lick.

My husband would be glad to lick yours too, Ves.
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Old 12-29-2005, 09:10 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vespertine
Mine are too small for me to lick.
If I'm nicer to Spoo he might let Scotty beam me there next Ves. facelick
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Old 12-29-2005, 09:11 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vespertine
Mine are too small for me to lick.
Don't be sad, Ves, I like 'em small too!! Seem to be a bit more sensitive on some women. Mrs is 36c, and I love 'em, but I like dem smallens too facelick

And yes, as Tx mentioned, it's an angle thing. Think about it Spoo-- breasts are covered? in skin. The same skin that stretches around the back. If she's having trouble reaching the right/left one (ya lost me on the whole boob right thing, totally gone, not comin back), then if you totally adjust position, thereby loosening the offending boobs skin, she just might be able to reach it. If not, then we vote to come help.
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Old 12-29-2005, 09:17 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am-BOOB-dextrous?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vespertine
Mine are too small for me to lick.
Well, Ves, whatever YOUR opinion of them, it looks like there's a line forming, but the question is: to the left, or the right? Also, how far back am I?

And txduo2000, I'm sorry, but I cannot grasp the fact that you might have "bad boobs." Bad boobs are in the eye of the beholder...and I can't figure out what you mean.
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