Girlfriend giving me oral doesn't feel good

[Tempest419]

Hey, ya'll~

while I'm in a FFM semi-poly, sometimes you still need situational help!...

I'm a relatively well-spoken person, but sometimes a little too blunt... how can I gently break it to my girlfriend that I am *not* gaining pleasure from her giving me oral??? It seems to be getting worse! I've tried to gently push her shoulder while backing up at times, and it only makes her more vigorous. Last night, because I was already a bit sore from previous sex, everything altogether hurt--her fingers inside me while she attempted sucking my clit, everything, it was so hard that it hurt before I stopped her and said I wasn't going to get off... which was true at that point. I know I'm a dumbass, but I'm not sure what to say, and I hate to hurt her feelings... so any suggestions on how and when to bring this up? Waiting til next time is probably best, I thought--bringing it up outside the situation could make it a huge point and I'm not quite there yet.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts!

~Tempest

[Vespertine]

You won't hurt her feelings if you tell her to be more gentle.

I think she'd be pleased if you tell her exactly what you like, and what turns you on. We all need pointers when it comes to our lovers, especially new ones. We're not mind readers and different people are turned on or turned off by various techniques.

I'd tell her while playing. Show her what you like, how much pressure you like. "That's a bit rough.... try it like this..." "What really gets me going is this....". I think you'd be making a bigger deal out of it if you brought it up outside the bedroom. I think she'll be more receptive and her ego won't be bruised if it's discussed during playtime.

[Spoomonkey]

Dito to Ves...

Without the undulation of hips, of course...

Your lover wants to please you - she should be excited about getting a tip or two that will make her technique better for you.

Spoomonkey

[Ssugarlips]

Good communication skills are necessary if I'm going to enjoy sex with another person. My desires range from soft/gentle to hard/fast - sometimes in the same session and sometimes I just want one way. If I don't speak up, I don't get it my way.

I always ask my partners (male/female) if they have any special requests. All my partners are long-term and we still have these discussions each time we're together. Asking for what you want and listening to what they want makes for better sex each time.

In my case, there are no hurt feelings because we just want to please the other.

[sweetnnasty]

Very true on all replies, but one thing to remember that just b/c we like it one way doesn't mean that's how we like it everytime... so maybe saying sometime like, "have you ever tried it this way," and then show her. I'm sure she thinks you are enjoying it b/c you have not said other wise. So make sure you're always honest about how you feel or like it, like said before, she can't read your mind... please keep us updated and let us know how it goes.

[BorisNatasha]

Better to tell than put up with something you don't like.

Natasha likes her oral sex with a lot of pressure on the clit... I mean A LOT. To the point of "uh mah gaw, mah tung ish falleh off". I had never been with a woman who liked so much force during oral sex, and for the first few months of our sex life she was not getting what she wanted because I was being too gentle. When she finally told me what she wanted, she started GETTING what she wanted. Amazing how that works. I was not the least bit offended by her 'correction' of my technique as it applied to her. It's all about what feels good to her.

I do know where you're coming from though. With a previous girlfriend I got blowjobs that were really not doing it for me. I was very hesitant to bring it up because I figured she would just stop altogether! That situation eventually sorted itself out a different way when we just broke up. Probably not the solution you're looking for!

Boris

[BodyScape02]

It might help to approach it from another standpoint...

From what you said on your first post:

(You pushed her away and it made her all the more vigorous) it appears she is "reading" you wrong.

She has to learn how to read your body... an essential part of a sexual relationship. The good thing about this is- she cares and seems to want to give you pleasure.

She assumed that you were indicating it was so good you were about to cum... That is probably, how her body language does it (only you know). Therefore, this many be the angle to approach the conversation... learning to read your lovers body language.

From thier you can add in, " You know what really turns me on ( gets me off), Is a very gentle approach. I love it when you gently lick my clit... "

Might just work... and you two could always have an alone session ...just to work out the kinks and get it just right... You first...lol

Make it fun hon, and let her know you adore her... she seems to adore you


Best Wishes

~Cat

[DarkandPatent]

To enjoy or not to enjoy? To Enjoy!
I have had an experience in the past in which the pendulum swung both ways. I was not pleasing her and she was not pleasing me, orally.
This particular lady was VERY sensitive over her clitoris. Simply running your tongue over it would feel like sand paper to her. It was with time and guidance that I was finally able to know what worked for her and brought her the most pleasure. This was facilitated by us discussing it in the bedroom while doing it.
This same lady was, initially, not very satisfying when giving oral was concerned. Having furthered our relationship by having discussed how I could better satisfy her we were better able to overcome this obstacle. In trying to help her understand what is more pleasurable to me. I found that showing her how the pros do it was most helpful. Telling her what felt good via just saying it, moans, and sighs helped but the most success was after watching adult films together and discussing it.

The time we took to discuss our pleasures made a world of difference to our satisfaction.

Best wishes!