My Labido disappeared, what now?????

[KittKatt]

Hi Vespertine ,

I will try to savour my grain of salt here ok......... facelick

I suppose from where you are standing, not knowing us what so ever, and without knowing every last detail of our lives, you could read that letter in the way you did, that's why I closed it with, it isn't the only nor the worst that's been said !

VALIDATION? Neither of us NEED VALIDATION of our feelings, we just were going through some rough times and came to a helpful forum for some friendly advice, as well as to share our experiance with others who will unfortunately have the same troubles at some point in their lives.

Thank you for the best wishes, and sorry to hear of your seperation, but glad to know it all worked out and your back together with your hubby

xoxoxo C

[KittKatt]

Hello RMRx2 ,

Originally Posted by RMRx2

It is awesome that you have had the courage to seek help and open up to realatively total strangers.

Best of wishes and keep us posted.

warmly, the rmrx2's

Thanks, and we are happy that we have found such a helpful place to seek advice, the fact that everyone on this board is open enough to share their own experiances and help others is a wonderful thing !

We still have some trials and tribulations yet, but things are slowly getting alot better.

xoxoxo C

[KittKatt]

Dear New2theSwingSet ,

Originally Posted by New2theSwingSet

So i recommend doing some sex-free activities that still involve a level of intimacy. Even if that means she teases me and i just take matters into my own hands. It was like we were teenagers again and that was kind of fun.

But... on the other hand, we went through a period of time when i wasnt interested so much in sex. It's a whole different ballgame when she feels rejected or unwanted. Talking about what really matters to each of you during this time can even make the relationship stronger.

.

Dito , Hi it's nice to get a man's point of view , and yeah it's not nice for either SO to feel REJECTED ever!!

And I suppose we both felt it, although for differant reasons, his for lack of sex....because I was still wanting to be close to him other than that.
Mine, for lack of him understanding, after 6 years of the same explanation.

As you, and sunswept also stated as well as some others, it is the LITTLE THINGS that we welcome and cherish and need so much, men and women.

Just last night we were talking and he made a comment as, him trying to make me want him or sex, and to me not being sexually attracted to him!! OMG....I re-assured him that I am ALWAYS SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to him!!! and that sex for me at least is not left or right...there's an entire MIDDLE that keeps gettin jumped over, we have to try harder, and that even he likes the small things as much as I.

Thanks for your advice and help

xoxoxo C

[KittKatt]

Hi everbody,

Just curious.....did anyone notice the pic? We will post a new one of us together soon.

xoxoxo C

[Paramour2_99]

I might suggest doing something perhaps out of your ordinary every day routine that might jump start your libido.

Perhaps an evening of entertainment like a "comedy club" might leave you both feeling so upbeat that for one evening you two can laugh and forget the pressures of the day. And maybe dancing after that????

A few years ago, my wife & I went to Las Vegas and I bought her a spa package when we stayed at the MGM Grand. She never had one before and to this day it rejuvenates her just to think about it. So maybe treat yourself to a spa treatment? That might renew your libido?

I wish you luck,,,,, Sincerely "X" Swinger

[RMRx2]

Originally Posted by KittKatt

Hi everbody,

Just curious.....did anyone notice the pic? We will post a new one of us together soon.

xoxoxo C

as a matter of fact, we did. we have been away for quite awhile, but we even went to your profile to see it somewhat enlarged.

a very beautiful woman. facelick

would like to see one of you smiling, though with this thread and your current struggles, we won't push for it just yet

[KittKatt]

Paramour2_99 ,

Hello and thanks, actually due to finances we don't get out much, but have recentlt started watching alot of COMEDY Central, and yes it does seem to help a great deal...to laugh and relax.

His birthday is comin' up in a few days and I asked if maybe we could go to a comedy show or a concert....dont know yet, but will try to find something fun, and hopefully Aunt Flo isn't in town

xoxoxo C

[KittKatt]

Originally Posted by RMRx2

would like to see one of you smiling, though with this thread and your current struggles, we won't push for it just yet

Welcome BACK !!

TYTYTY

And smiling won't be an issue.....
try to get one up ...ASAP

[KittKatt]

hey everyone kitt here all i can say is thanks to everyone posting in our time of dispare. how every u spell that one. all have touch on our problems in one way or the other(mine or hers). most have been helpful to me in coping with the fact that she puts off the vibes that i am un wanted by her. all i can really say is Surrender . mother nature is to tough and unperdictable. so like the old days when thing were unsexually around her i shall go to bed and dream of the time we have had playing with each other. in other word keep my head up and walk a straight line. and dont try so hard to push her into myselfishness. (just go with the flow :rollseyes ) and watch what i say. speak with the mouth not the head
thanks again everyone

[RMRx2]

Your very welcome and we wish you the best.

I think the majority or the points made were to keep working on any issue that may be keeping you apart and/or interferring with the ability to connect and provide loving human contact for one another.

yes the pressure needs to be off for sure. you should work to understand each other much better. but also both should work to bring about a closeness and the physical sharing to at some point that is what it is to be human and have contact with the one you love.

there have been many suggestions for non sexual, goal oriented bonding either in day to day nicieties, together activitiies, conversation (not arguements!) and also exploration or any health issues that may exist.

heads down and ignoring a problem only leads to much bigger ones down the road and we hope that is not what we hear in your post.

ya'll seem like a very nice deeply commited couple. relationships like that are hard to find,,just ask around of your single friends how hard it is to find someone you can work through anything with, bet they'd trade you struggles for thier endless search anyday. it is worth the effort.

oh lordy, and if either of you have ever been divorced before, you know what we mean, but endless child support, not having any input to what the "other parent" does in parenting,who it is that might be playing daddy or mommy to your kid with the other parent is frustrating , stressful, sometimes heartbreaking enough to make anyone cherish what they have and work very hard to keep it healthy,,,,,

I'll sit on the end of the bed , "discussing" anything, round the clock, go to any amount of counseling, whatever it takes, to never go through that again!
best wishes, the rmrx2's

[KittKatt]

All so very true,

We have each been divorced twice before, and each have a non-custodial child, and child support payments!!!

It is very dificult to say the least, and we too will swim across an ocean if it keeps us together.

Thank you all very much, and take care

xoxoxo C

[RMRx2]

Originally Posted by KittKatt

All so very true,

We have each been divorced twice before, and each have a non-custodial child, and child support payments!!!

It is very dificult to say the least, and we too will swim across an ocean if it keeps us together.

Thank you all very much, and take care

xoxoxo C

yep, if ya'll like us, we even prefer to meet those in the lifestyle that have been through blended family situations and a re-marriage,,,,,,,I mean, it is awesome when folks have been married to each other forever,,but we find those folks just can't relate to us and what it is to "trade" kids every weekend or whatever. it's like a different world we live in. with some, we have even felt they might be looking down thier noses a bit at us for having not made it in "one marriage"

[KittKatt]

Dito RMRx2

That basically just goes back to " finding someone in common with ourselves"

And for us, it was really his highly religous folks that looked down their noses at us!!! But they have warmed up a bit over the last 6 yrs....LOL

Not that this is a commanality we wish upon anyone....EVER....
And knowing our childrens happiness comes first....is why we divorced our x's and x's !
All our children are much better the way it is than seeing their parents hating each other
We all miss alot, special occasions, doctering boo boo's, helping with the nightmares....and well you know

Plus it seems very hard like you said to find someone compatible with our lifestyle in general.....
Sure is nice to hear someone understands though ,

thank you

xoxoxo C

[lovedoctor]

You need to go see your doctor. What about depression, the depressive phase of bipolar disorder (bipolar disorder is manifest by mood shifts and sudden swings in libido, energy level, etc), Graves disease or some other autoimmune disorder? Go see your doctor!

[KittKatt]

Hi Lovedoctor,

Actually I had an appointment today, they have started with some blood work to check my thyroid since troubles run in my family, and also doc is checkin my hormone levels, however the saliva test for it can't be collected untill next month prior to menstrual cycle....wich is already over a week late, and I am fixed

My energy levels are so low, I alomost fell over just gettin on the scales today....

We will keep on them to run more tests as soon as these results return, assuming I need any further testing.

Thanks for the advice....

xoxoxo C