Can't have an orgasm

[firsttimer1967]

With one of my past relationships I was introduced to the vibrator. I have been able to reach an orgasm in the past but within the last few years I can't. Has anyone had a problem with their clit being numb or am I just doing it wrong?

[Atilla]

hmmm, don't know exactly what advice to give but I did notice while shopping at Adam & Eve that they had lots of lotions to enhance clitoral stimulation. Have you ever tried something like this?

[Rombi's Girl]

If you overuse a vibe, you can desensitize your clit, making orgasms so much harder to acheive.

Try to put down your vibe for a while, a few months ought to do it. Start slow to wean yourself off of the vibe, then rest for a bit, then slowly work your way to periodic usage only.

I know some women out there will probably say that they have used one everyday with no ill effects, but I make this recommendation for two reasons: because you are having a problem, and something similar sounding happened to me. And when it did happen to me, that's what I did. For me the sensitivity did come back, took awhile though.

Good Luck!
RG

[firsttimer1967]

Thank you so much for the input at least there is hope out there.

[DanBridget]

It is possible that you might have something else bothering you. With a discussion I had with B about new sexual drugs on the market she mentioned the number of women having to use viagra or some other form to help them along. Some of the problems they had come accross was the amount of stress or depression in ones life. Are you going through alot of stress right now? If so not getting your orgasm might just add to it. I would try relaxing, and maybe not using it so much back away from it like Rombis' girl. If that doesn't help it will not hurt to seek a professional advice.

[bbwinpa]

Just had to give you an FYI regaurding the stmt below:

Originally Posted by Atilla

hmmm, don't know exactly what advice to give but I did notice while shopping at Adam & Eve that they had lots of lotions to enhance clitoral stimulation. Have you ever tried something like this?

I have used these lotions and was not terribly impressed, but they were kinda fun. Then one day I misplaced it. I remembered reading the ingredients and decided to experiement, and had VERY nice results!

There is a much more inexpensive method! No lotions needed! At your grocery store, in the baking section normally, buy some pepermint food flavoring, may also be called oil of pepermint. (By the way, it is one of the main ingredients in many of those expensive lotions.)

Then when home, take the cap off, put your finger tightly over the opening and turn the bottle over and then back up right. When you take your finger off the top of the bottle it will be slightly wet.

Your first thought will be that it is not enough -- don't be fooled! It is!

Rub the pepermint directly on and around your clit. It will give you a cold/hot feeling that is really nifty! It also makes your clit more sensitive to additional manual stim.

WARNING: You may be tempted to think that if a little bit is that good, more will be better --- DO NOT DO IT! It is not better, it is just very hot and burning and will take ya right from pleasure to PAIN.

AFTER the original application has worn off, you can do the same procedure again, but please wait until it wears (or is licked!) off before reapplying or it will be ouchie.

[bbwinpa]

OH! Remembered something else.

I get winter blues up here in the cold north! And this year I tried using an anti-depressant for it.

It dramatically affected my sex life. Left me with little interest in sex, but even when I was interested, NO ORGASMS. Clit was not sensitive, etc.... Needless to say, winter blues started looking better and better and I ditched the drugs! lol

If you are taking any meds like this, talk to your doctor(s) about any Rx that you may be taking. From what I hear there are alot of drugs out there that can do this to ya.

[Miss_Piggy]

Did I get this right? You used to have orgasms with a vibe and now you don't at all? I'd be inclinced to consider a visit to the doctor if I were you.

[Vespertine]

Dito to what Piggy said.

Are you getting any sensation with the vibe?

[Atilla]

Wow, this thread is an interesting read. I might have to try the peppermint thing out for myself, lol

[bbwinpa]

Just to correct my peppermint post -- I checked my bottle and it is called peppermint extract, not peppermint flavoring.

Do take my warning about too much seriously! It really can be ... NOT FUN! I would suggest having a wet wash cloth near by just in case ya get it wrong. However -- Experimentation can be very fun when you get it right!

[PiNKFLoYD]

Have you started taking an antidepressant? One of those "certain sexual side-effects" that they mention on the TV commercials is an inability to orgasm. Paxil is notorious for this.

If so, talk to your doctor. The doc can lower the dosage or change you to a different medication.

[tabledancer]

Here is an interesting article that just came out. (Long)

Associated Press
Jun. 7, 2005 04:01 PM

LONDON - A woman's ability to have an orgasm is at least partly determined by her genes and can't be blamed entirely on cultural influences, new research suggests.

Experts say that's likely to be interpreted as both good and bad news.

"It'll be upsetting because some women will think, 'Oh my God, maybe I just can't.' On the other hand it takes away a kind of guilt or pressure," said Dr. Virginia Sadock, director of the human sexuality program at New York University Medical Center.

Either way, specialists say the findings don't mean women who inherit an unfortunate gene package are doomed. They just mean that more work, or patience, is required.

The main benefit of discovering the genetic elements of sexual function, experts say, is to help scientists find better treatments for sexual problems. The study was reported this week in Biology Letters, a journal of the Royal Society, Britain's independent academy of science.

In the study, scientists from St. Thomas' Hospital in London sent questionnaires to 4,037 women who are part of the British twin registry. About half of them were identical twins and half were non-identical twins.

One in three of the women reported never or hardly ever reaching orgasm during intercourse and 21 percent said they hardly, if ever, achieve climax during masturbation. Those figures are consistent with other surveys conducted over the last few decades.

However, the questionnaires revealed a significant genetic influence on the ability to reach orgasm, said lead researcher Tim Spector, a genetic epidemiologist at St. Thomas' Hospital.

The similarity in orgasm experience was greater in identical twins than it was in non-identical twins, Spector said. Because the only difference between the two groups was genetic, the researchers concluded that the gap between the groups was the genetic component.

After taking into account other factors that could influence orgasm, the scientists estimated that 34 percent of the difficulty women face in reaching orgasm during intercourse is due to genes.

Problems in sexual response during masturbation seemed to be more genetically influenced than orgasm ability during intercourse. The study found that 45 percent of the difficulty women have in climaxing during masturbation can be attributed to genetic makeup.

The results were similar to those of a study on Australian twins published earlier this year.

The idea that orgasm ability has a genetic component makes sense, said female orgasm expert Laura Berman, a professor at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Evanston, Ill.

"A lot of the women that I treat will tell me that when they talk to their siblings or mothers they very often have similar challenges," said Berman, who was not involved with the study. "One could make the case that it's nurture, not nature because these twins were brought up together, but you can't rule out the genetic argument."

But Spector said effects of the twins' shared environmental influences did not alter the study results significantly.

Even if women do inherit an unfavorable genetic mix, as with many other conditions, it does not mean they are doomed, experts said. Many approaches can help most women enhance their ability to achieve orgasm.

"Factors influencing the ability to (reach) orgasm vary from woman to woman. What we do know is that psychologically women are more complex sexually," Sadock said. "For women, being in a relationship where they feel loved and feel secure, is a big factor. Other big factors are how they feel about themselves and about sex and what their first experiences were."

"Maybe there are some women ... who can never. That is a possibility, but that would be a small amount," Sadock said.

And even if they can't, that doesn't mean there's no joy for them in sex, Berman added. A survey she recently conducted found that among women enjoying satisfying sex lives, orgasm did not rate as a key element for fulfillment.

[couplehorny]

Read in the newspaper yesterday that some woman may not be able to have an orgasm. They said it was in the genes. It is genetics, so you may need to work a little more to get it or just enjoy the time with your SO.