Dirty Sex Talk

danc694u · 11-12-2001, 05:43 PM

Has anyone else had this problem?

I'm (David) finding it harder and harder to even get into the mood, when someone feels like they need to talk as dirty as they can to me.

And, while I don't have any difficulty saying NO...or discussing other sexual preferances. I feel like I'm asking someone to shut the hell up, if I/we ask them to refrain from it.

Our past 2 get togethers, have been with couples where the female was really vocal. Guys & Gals, I'm not saying screamer. I'm saying they took a woody, and turned it into a turtle, in under 10 seconds. All with a comment they made. Which wasn't that bad really.

Any suggestions for dealing with it? Open to anything about now. Including, telling them to shut the hell up.

Would you be offended, if someone asked you to refrain from it??

[ 11-12-2001: Message edited by: danc694u ]

kissyface · 11-12-2001, 09:35 PM

I have noticed in some peoples profiles they list dirty talk as a turn on. Now personally I find it distracting if it is more than the occasional comment. But that is just me....

I guess if they were really bothering me I would try to put something in their mouth to keep them busy

Kissy

***JustAskJulie*** · 11-13-2001, 12:22 AM

I think it's just one of those things that you have to let people know. I like it to a degree...but I have a friend who gets really into it... and when she starts it I just crack up and it totally kills things for me.. because it's so extreme..but yet I've seen her use it on guys when she's ready for them to cum and they usually cum in seconds after she starts.

I think your best bet is to include it in your "beforehand" discussions... and if it does come up during sex... put a stop to it before it puts a stop to you.

Flori_DAMAN · 11-13-2001, 03:24 AM

I dont't have a problem listening to it but I feel obligated to join in and I have absolutely nothing to say tht I am not totally uncomfortable saying. I guess it just doesn't come naturally for me. This can cause the ole one eyed monster to get quite distracted though.
Along the same lines comes spanking. Tam likes me to slap her ass now and then in the throes of passion and I oblige but it is not a turn on for me.

Stratecpl · 11-13-2001, 11:24 AM

We usually let people know upfront that we do enjoy talking dirty and being talked dirty too..so then if they are uncomfortable with it then they can let us know and we won't do it.....agree on the talking dirty to some guys to get them to cum..LOL it does work...

Connie

danc694u · 11-13-2001, 12:28 PM

I can see where it would be a big turn on for some people. And, there are exceptions for myself as well. Sometimes, I do enjoy it.

But more often than not. In a new "setting" with a new "couple", I have difficulty making a "horny" connection.

But, thanks for all of your inputs.

Quin · 08-30-2002, 10:13 PM

Hope this is the catagory to place this post under, if not I'm sure someone will move it.

Recently on these Message Boards a man posted about watching his wife indulge in sexual activity and referred to her as a slut/whore. Well, he drew a LOT of fire from people here for referring to his spouse in such derrogatory terms.

I'll admit that I love nasty sex talk during sex, it's a turn on to me. In the throes of passion, if someone talks dirty/nasty to me it just revves me up that much more. And yes, if a man especially uses the terms this particular man used in his post.

Now if a man were to call me those outside of sex, he'd get smacked and if he did it in front of friends...YIKES, I'd hate to think what would happen to him.

Are you turned on by nasty sex talk? Are you NOT turned on by it because you can't distinguish between play and reality? If you're not turned on by nasty sex talk, why? Do you prefer to remain silent during sex? If not, what do you say during sex if not something dirty? Why do you remain silent during sex? Is there an appropriate time or an inappropriate time to use the words slut/whore during sex?

I'll stop asking questions cause I could go on all night.

Quin
This space for rent while my graemlin is missing. Cheap weekly rates! <img border="0" alt="[sad]" title="" src="graemlins/sad.gif" />

<small>[ August 30, 2002, 10:16 PM: Message edited by: Quin ]</small>

***JustAskJulie*** · 08-31-2002, 11:57 AM

I am like you. I like it during sex, especially from my hubby during sex that follows a swinging encounter. But outside of sex I would find it very offensive if he referred to me with those words.

<img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" /> Haha, I stole Quin's graemlin.....<EG>

Quin · 08-31-2002, 02:29 PM

I think that during a swinging session, dirty sex talk isn't done, at least that's been my experience. There are a few within my circle that I will engage in dirty sex talk during sex but we're comfortable with each other after 14 or more years to do so. I think should someone start the really dirty sex talk with me being their first time with me, I might be taken back a bit and most likely wouldn't get involved. I know a few years ago a new couple had heard an old friend and I indulge in some dirty sex talk and they must have thought it was okay as the male of the couple started talking like that when he was with me and a few of the other guys kind of nicely let him know that he hadn't *earned* that liberty with me and to knock it off. <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" />

Quin
My graemlin!!!! <img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" />

Stratecpl · 08-31-2002, 02:41 PM

I love dirty talk during sex. I would talk dirty to the man first then that would usually fire him up more.

OhioCouple · 09-01-2002, 07:43 PM

We enjoy some dirty talk during sex, but only between ourselves. I think it would be some what presumptuous to engage in that sort of language in a swing atmosphere unless as Quin said she has with some that she has known for many years. As for making those sort of references in public, I find it very distasteful and offensive.

Lori

09-02-2002, 04:09 AM

Quin,
I read the previous post and now have also read yours. Everyone is getting hung up on the appropriateness of the language and when it is or is not ok to refer to a woman in those terms. I agree that the original poster came across in a rather crass way.

However, I know there are some relationships where the wife or girlfriend is a very submissive female and enjoys the humiliation of being told to have sex with the husbands friends or acquaintances. And she might even enjoy being referred to as a f'ng slut etc.

It takes all kinds.

JMR · 09-02-2002, 03:55 PM

WE like to talk dirty to each other. we agree that dirty sex talk shouldnt be done around other people. So talk dirty while u fuck like rabits and enjoy each other to the fullest extent... <img border="0" alt="[fun]" title="" src="graemlins/fun.gif" />

Lorrelei · 10-09-2002, 02:09 AM

I love talking dirty, and like being called a slut, whore, etc. during sex and when used--to me--as a compliment in public. Frankly, I also like how the word "slut" sounds.

ddrewd · 10-09-2002, 08:12 AM

Strangely, while I really enjoy a passionate woman's dirty talk during sex, I'm not a very conversationalist with my clothes off. That's one area in which I still need to loosen up. My sex talk tends to be gentle ("I love the feel of your...".etc etc) rather than dirty ("shake your ass, you slut!")

Drew

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11-12-2001, 05:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
danc694u Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 546 Location: Birmingham, AL Status: couple	Dirty Talkin Has anyone else had this problem? I'm (David) finding it harder and harder to even get into the mood, when someone feels like they need to talk as dirty as they can to me. And, while I don't have any difficulty saying NO...or discussing other sexual preferances. I feel like I'm asking someone to shut the hell up, if I/we ask them to refrain from it. Our past 2 get togethers, have been with couples where the female was really vocal. Guys & Gals, I'm not saying screamer. I'm saying they took a woody, and turned it into a turtle, in under 10 seconds. All with a comment they made. Which wasn't that bad really. Any suggestions for dealing with it? Open to anything about now. Including, telling them to shut the hell up. Would you be offended, if someone asked you to refrain from it?? [ 11-12-2001: Message edited by: danc694u ]
	__________________ Phonies and Fakes Need not apply. We're as real as it gets, and don't have time to be wasting on dumbasses.

11-13-2001, 12:22 AM	#3 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,289 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	I think it's just one of those things that you have to let people know. I like it to a degree...but I have a friend who gets really into it... and when she starts it I just crack up and it totally kills things for me.. because it's so extreme..but yet I've seen her use it on guys when she's ready for them to cum and they usually cum in seconds after she starts. I think your best bet is to include it in your "beforehand" discussions... and if it does come up during sex... put a stop to it before it puts a stop to you.
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

11-13-2001, 11:24 AM	#5 (permalink)
Stratecpl Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2000 Posts: 456 Location: TN, USA	We usually let people know upfront that we do enjoy talking dirty and being talked dirty too..so then if they are uncomfortable with it then they can let us know and we won't do it.....agree on the talking dirty to some guys to get them to cum..LOL it does work... Connie
	__________________ "Well behaved women rarely make history"

11-13-2001, 12:28 PM	#6 (permalink)
danc694u Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 546 Location: Birmingham, AL Status: couple	I can see where it would be a big turn on for some people. And, there are exceptions for myself as well. Sometimes, I do enjoy it. But more often than not. In a new "setting" with a new "couple", I have difficulty making a "horny" connection. But, thanks for all of your inputs.
	__________________ Phonies and Fakes Need not apply. We're as real as it gets, and don't have time to be wasting on dumbasses.

11-12-2001, 09:35 PM	#2 (permalink)
kissyface Here to Stay Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 31 Location: South Eastern Virginia Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:kissmemore	I have noticed in some peoples profiles they list dirty talk as a turn on. Now personally I find it distracting if it is more than the occasional comment. But that is just me.... I guess if they were really bothering me I would try to put something in their mouth to keep them busy Kissy

11-13-2001, 03:24 AM	#4 (permalink)
Flori_DAMAN Previously of MichiganCouple Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 2,100 Location: Vero Beach Florida Status: Single Male	I dont't have a problem listening to it but I feel obligated to join in and I have absolutely nothing to say tht I am not totally uncomfortable saying. I guess it just doesn't come naturally for me. This can cause the ole one eyed monster to get quite distracted though. Along the same lines comes spanking. Tam likes me to slap her ass now and then in the throes of passion and I oblige but it is not a turn on for me.

08-30-2002, 10:13 PM	#7 (permalink)
Quin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,136 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	Dirty Sex Talk Hope this is the catagory to place this post under, if not I'm sure someone will move it. Recently on these Message Boards a man posted about watching his wife indulge in sexual activity and referred to her as a slut/whore. Well, he drew a LOT of fire from people here for referring to his spouse in such derrogatory terms. I'll admit that I love nasty sex talk during sex, it's a turn on to me. In the throes of passion, if someone talks dirty/nasty to me it just revves me up that much more. And yes, if a man especially uses the terms this particular man used in his post. Now if a man were to call me those outside of sex, he'd get smacked and if he did it in front of friends...YIKES, I'd hate to think what would happen to him. Are you turned on by nasty sex talk? Are you NOT turned on by it because you can't distinguish between play and reality? If you're not turned on by nasty sex talk, why? Do you prefer to remain silent during sex? If not, what do you say during sex if not something dirty? Why do you remain silent during sex? Is there an appropriate time or an inappropriate time to use the words slut/whore during sex? I'll stop asking questions cause I could go on all night. Quin This space for rent while my graemlin is missing. Cheap weekly rates! <img border="0" alt="[sad]" title="" src="graemlins/sad.gif" /> <small>[ August 30, 2002, 10:16 PM: Message edited by: Quin ]</small>
	__________________ One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

08-31-2002, 11:57 AM	#8 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,289 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	I am like you. I like it during sex, especially from my hubby during sex that follows a swinging encounter. But outside of sex I would find it very offensive if he referred to me with those words. <img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" /> Haha, I stole Quin's graemlin.....<EG>
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

08-31-2002, 02:29 PM	#9 (permalink)
Quin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,136 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	I think that during a swinging session, dirty sex talk isn't done, at least that's been my experience. There are a few within my circle that I will engage in dirty sex talk during sex but we're comfortable with each other after 14 or more years to do so. I think should someone start the really dirty sex talk with me being their first time with me, I might be taken back a bit and most likely wouldn't get involved. I know a few years ago a new couple had heard an old friend and I indulge in some dirty sex talk and they must have thought it was okay as the male of the couple started talking like that when he was with me and a few of the other guys kind of nicely let him know that he hadn't earned that liberty with me and to knock it off. <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" /> Quin My graemlin!!!! <img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" />
	__________________ One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

08-31-2002, 02:41 PM	#10 (permalink)
Stratecpl Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2000 Posts: 456 Location: TN, USA	I love dirty talk during sex. I would talk dirty to the man first then that would usually fire him up more.
	__________________ "Well behaved women rarely make history"

09-01-2002, 07:43 PM	#11 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	We enjoy some dirty talk during sex, but only between ourselves. I think it would be some what presumptuous to engage in that sort of language in a swing atmosphere unless as Quin said she has with some that she has known for many years. As for making those sort of references in public, I find it very distasteful and offensive. Lori
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

09-02-2002, 04:09 AM	#12 (permalink)
<Guest> Guest Posts: n/a	Quin, I read the previous post and now have also read yours. Everyone is getting hung up on the appropriateness of the language and when it is or is not ok to refer to a woman in those terms. I agree that the original poster came across in a rather crass way. However, I know there are some relationships where the wife or girlfriend is a very submissive female and enjoys the humiliation of being told to have sex with the husbands friends or acquaintances. And she might even enjoy being referred to as a f'ng slut etc. It takes all kinds.
<Guest> Guest Posts: n/a

09-02-2002, 03:55 PM	#13 (permalink)
JMR Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 103 Location: michigan Status: married	WE like to talk dirty to each other. we agree that dirty sex talk shouldnt be done around other people. So talk dirty while u fuck like rabits and enjoy each other to the fullest extent... <img border="0" alt="[fun]" title="" src="graemlins/fun.gif" />
	__________________ Us plus You = a whole LOT of fun!!!

10-09-2002, 02:09 AM	#14 (permalink)
Lorrelei Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 54 Location: MI	I love talking dirty, and like being called a slut, whore, etc. during sex and when used--to me--as a compliment in public. Frankly, I also like how the word "slut" sounds.
	__________________ Lorrelei

10-09-2002, 08:12 AM	#15 (permalink)
ddrewd Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 123 Location: On the road in Oklahoma Status: Single Male	Strangely, while I really enjoy a passionate woman's dirty talk during sex, I'm not a very conversationalist with my clothes off. That's one area in which I still need to loosen up. My sex talk tends to be gentle ("I love the feel of your...".etc etc) rather than dirty ("shake your ass, you slut!") Drew
	__________________ Drew Coming to a theatre near you!

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