Sex Accidents - What's Your Worst Case Scenario?

Brit_Pair · 05-18-2003, 05:54 AM

An old girlfriend and I once had one of the bottom legs on her bed collapse, causing us to endure an inevitable slow roll onto the floor. I thought it was hilarious, but she took the opposite viewpoint, and sulked for the rest of the day.

And I was the one who nearly had something vital snapped off!!

uneed_love2 · 05-19-2003, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DragonsLair
Brit_Pair and OhioCouple,

Thanks for the visual this morning. I almost pulled a Sparky and got my new keyboard covered with milk and cheerios. Oh, that's right, we bought a spillproof keyboard this time around. Sis, you might want to look into one yourself.

DragonsLair

He is T. I am A.

Please, please tell me where to find a spillproof keyboard! I always have food on my desk at home...
I was laughing so much that the people next door must be wondering what is going on... and last night I was reading the jokes... I bet I kept the neighbors up...

DragonsLair · 05-20-2003, 06:31 AM

They're available here at Best Buy, an electronics store. It's made by Memorex, but there are probably other manufacturers as well.

I hope you find one in your area. With JC around, you'll need one.

DragonsLair

He is T. I am A.

OhioCouple · 05-20-2003, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by fun_pairTX
Hell we have butted heads, headed butts, rolled off the bed, fallen off the kitchen counter, overturned the couch, and I once got bonked by the ceiling fan. We figure its all good and stuff happens.

ROFL! And here I thought it was just us! My hubby got bonked by the ceiling fan once too! Our bed sits up rather high. Early on in our relationship, I changed the bedroom around which put the ceiling fan right above the bed. His having been used to the fan NOT being in harms way got him darn near knocked out in some early morning "gymnastics". An ice pack or two later and lots of coddling soothed the moment that it killed.

OMGoodness....he's gonna die when he finds out I told about that one! But he'll probably be happy I didn't talk about the fireplace! .... yet!

Brit_Pair · 05-20-2003, 07:38 AM

Yep, nothing like a decapitation to get the old blood pumping in the bedroom!!

uneed_love2 · 05-20-2003, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OhioCouple
ROFL! And here I thought it was just us! My hubby got bonked by the ceiling fan once too! .

OMGoodness....he's gonna die when he finds out I told about that one! But he'll probably be happy I didn't talk about the fireplace! .... yet!

Thank God I read that! I was thinking of getting a ceiling fan... Maybe I'll just stick to my portable one... at least I can move it out of the way!

Uneed_Love · 05-20-2003, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OhioCouple
But he'll probably be happy I didn't talk about the fireplace! .... yet!

WE WANT TO KNOW... WE WANT TO KNOW... LOL... Do not tell us it's a story about a grilled sausage

Kisses

JC (half of Uneed_Love2)

Roxysbayou · 05-20-2003, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Uneed_Love
WE WANT TO KNOW... WE WANT TO KNOW... LOL... Do not tell us it's a story about a grilled sausage

Or possibly flaming tresses? Or toasted buns?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Brit_Pair · 05-21-2003, 07:19 AM

There are some adjective-noun combinations that were simply never intended to be.

"Char-grilled" and "genitals" is one such combination!!

OhioCouple · 05-21-2003, 07:56 AM

The fireplace....

I love a fire burning in the winter time. I happen to think it is romantic and sort of sets the stage for some intimate love making. Now mind you this event happened long before we even talked about swinging.

I set up our living room with a crackling fire, lit some candles, spread comforters across the oriental rug and put in one of hubby's favorite porn video's in anticipation of a love fest. My hubby doesn't care for a fire and says that it is a waste of heat to burn one, but that didn't stop me from buying two arm loads of fire wood and setting 'my mood'.

We got rather heavily involved in some aggressive love making which led us closer to the hearth. A big *pop* occured and sent out a cinder which landed smack dab on the top of hubby's head. (We were in a missionary style postion). Hubby immediately put out all fires, the one on his head, the fireplace and my internal fire.

End result, it singed a nice portion of his hair (which looked funny for a while) and thankfully not many could see it as he is rather tall. For those that could, he explained it as being that he suffered a *bad* haircut.

And I'm left to wonder why he won't buy a cord of wood for me?

OhioCouple · 05-21-2003, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by uneed_love2
Thank God I read that! I was thinking of getting a ceiling fan... Maybe I'll just stick to my portable one... at least I can move it out of the way!

Get that ceiling fan, just be sure to get one of the ones that 'hug' the ceiling and doesn't have all the fancy drop down lights. Not only are they a pain to clean, but they add additional danger to bedroom gymnastics!

Uneed_Love · 05-21-2003, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by OhioCouple
he explained it as being that he suffered a *bad* haircut.

Yeah from the ceiling fan.... LOL... Humm I remember You said You're part native this can explain the "scalp dance"

Kisses

JC

uneed_love2 · 05-21-2003, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OhioCouple
Get that ceiling fan, just be sure to get one of the ones that 'hug' the ceiling and doesn't have all the fancy drop down lights. Not only are they a pain to clean, but they add additional danger to bedroom gymnastics!

Hmm that was exactly the kind I was going to get... With the lights...
I think I will scrap this idea as my bed is fairly high and right below where the fan would be.

Besides with JC's love for anything native, he might want to use the fan for different activities...

Roxysbayou · 05-21-2003, 03:17 PM

Once while spending the weekend at a ski lodge with one of my old flames, we were getting pretty hot and heavy on a sofa bed, and somehow ended up sideways close to the back of the sofa. I guess that the combination of the off balanced weight and the motion caused the entire bed to tip upwards and we were both engulfed by the couch. We had to yell to the couple who was staying in the next room to come and get us out!

uneed_love2 · 05-23-2003, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Roxysbayou
Once while spending the weekend at a ski lodge with one of my old flames, we were getting pretty hot and heavy on a sofa bed, and somehow ended up sideways close to the back of the sofa. I guess that the combination of the off balanced weight and the motion caused the entire bed to tip upwards and we were both engulfed by the couch. We had to yell to the couple who was staying in the next room to come and get us out!

CNN local news:

The last ski trip.
This morning a couple was found caught in the act! Their love making must have been very passionate as the sofa objected and swallowed them up. Unfortunately they were alone at home and must have been stuck together for at least 5 days. The funeral will be held on Saturday at 3PM.

What a way to go!

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05-21-2003, 07:56 AM	#40 (permalink)
OhioCouple Retired Mod Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	The fireplace.... I love a fire burning in the winter time. I happen to think it is romantic and sort of sets the stage for some intimate love making. Now mind you this event happened long before we even talked about swinging. I set up our living room with a crackling fire, lit some candles, spread comforters across the oriental rug and put in one of hubby's favorite porn video's in anticipation of a love fest. My hubby doesn't care for a fire and says that it is a waste of heat to burn one, but that didn't stop me from buying two arm loads of fire wood and setting 'my mood'. We got rather heavily involved in some aggressive love making which led us closer to the hearth. A big pop occured and sent out a cinder which landed smack dab on the top of hubby's head. (We were in a missionary style postion). Hubby immediately put out all fires, the one on his head, the fireplace and my internal fire. End result, it singed a nice portion of his hair (which looked funny for a while) and thankfully not many could see it as he is rather tall. For those that could, he explained it as being that he suffered a bad haircut. And I'm left to wonder why he won't buy a cord of wood for me? __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

05-21-2003, 03:17 PM	#44 (permalink)
Roxysbayou Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,376 Location: Louisiana Status: Married Female Swing Lifestyle Name:likethat	Once while spending the weekend at a ski lodge with one of my old flames, we were getting pretty hot and heavy on a sofa bed, and somehow ended up sideways close to the back of the sofa. I guess that the combination of the off balanced weight and the motion caused the entire bed to tip upwards and we were both engulfed by the couch. We had to yell to the couple who was staying in the next room to come and get us out! __________________ I put the "grrrr" in swinger baby, yeah! --Austin Powers

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05-18-2003, 05:54 AM	#31 (permalink)
Brit_Pair Retired Mod Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 3,635 Location: UK Status: Couple	An old girlfriend and I once had one of the bottom legs on her bed collapse, causing us to endure an inevitable slow roll onto the floor. I thought it was hilarious, but she took the opposite viewpoint, and sulked for the rest of the day. And I was the one who nearly had something vital snapped off!!

05-20-2003, 06:31 AM	#33 (permalink)
DragonsLair Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 1,020 Location: Cleveland, OH Status: Married Couple	They're available here at Best Buy, an electronics store. It's made by Memorex, but there are probably other manufacturers as well. I hope you find one in your area. With JC around, you'll need one. DragonsLair He is T. I am A.

05-20-2003, 07:38 AM	#35 (permalink)
Brit_Pair Retired Mod Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 3,635 Location: UK Status: Couple	Yep, nothing like a decapitation to get the old blood pumping in the bedroom!!

05-21-2003, 07:19 AM	#39 (permalink)
Brit_Pair Retired Mod Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 3,635 Location: UK Status: Couple	There are some adjective-noun combinations that were simply never intended to be. "Char-grilled" and "genitals" is one such combination!!

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