I call shenanigans!

[Chicup 38]

This is something that has been subtly bugging me for a while now and has recently hit the rant point.

 

Healthy guys on ED medication. Now I'm not on ED meds, I can get it up properly, but my guy is pretty limited in its functioning. One and done at least for a good 5 minutes, and after that done for even longer. Its ok, thats pretty normal.

 

The problem we seem to run into in swinging is guys who either can't get it up (bad).

Or can go forever and ever since they are on ED meds and most likely cleaned the pipes before playtime (annoying for me).

 

So there I'm feeling like a player not on steroids during sex. One of those clues the guy is on ED meds is he won't even cum. His body is still saying "too soon" but his penis didn't get the message.

 

I'm actually THIS close to just using them myself.

[81lizard69 469]

Those guys are tougher than you think. I have taken those meds and they can make you sick. After being erect for a long time my penis bacaem sore, really sore. Your head will turn red. I hope you are not of pale complexion. Your back will hurt your kidneys might ache your sinus tissue will swell your eyesight can get blurry. I have tried it but have found like most meds the side effects are not worth it. Oh yeah and you risk the chance of parapism. good luck if something bad happens let us know.. Your buddy. Matt.

 

However, you can have a boner for 4 hours and that is cool in a swinging situation.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

A man who can't come isn't exactly a gift to women. Just sayin'.

[CandyCane 33]

If a person needs the meds, then they should take them. My husband is diabetic and he has to take them occasionally. Yes, I questioned the Dr. about the need for the medication and she said ED is a side effect of some men that are diabetic. He has no problem cumming on the meds. The first round of intercourse, he cums quite fast. But the second or third time, it can take him awhile to cum.. We just take a few breaks during those times.. I have been with a few guys that take the meds that don't need them, and let's just say, after 2 hours of straight fucking is too much!!!! Some of them don't even cum and that's with me trying to do anything I can to get them to.

[tribbles 490]

Some of the guys may also be on SSRI's and it will delay or prevent orgasm for them. Going to try them while you are in the mood to experiment?

 

Only you can decide how 'better living through chemistry' applies to you.

[81lizard69 469]

Just saying. Not cuming is ok. I have been with women I did not make cum and it was ok. Some women I have been with and have not cum from their best efforts. I am sure I am not alone when I say that swinging is more about experiencing new people and new things than just blowing a load. I have more times in memory where I thought I would have had more fun if I had not cum so fast. I am sure some of the men will back me up.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

. . . I am sure some of the men will back me up.

I tried to double-like this one but the bulletin board system would not allow it.

[funcoupledayton 2,707]

My husband has only taken cialis a couple times, but he almost always takes forever to come. It's just the way he is. Sometimes he says he feels like coming right away, but he pushes it back and then can't come.

[sunbuckus 3,565]

Haven't there been a lot of threads where many members are saying it's okay for a man to not cum and that it isn't the be-all-end-all? Don't some men actually hold back their cum so that they can purposely have more playtime with other women? Some men can get erect several times a night after each ejaculation. Other men are done for the night once they do. Truth be told, I know of men who fall into both groups when not using any ED drugs. I don't really care if they do take ED drugs or they don't as long as it helps them feel more relaxed about how they'll "perform" when they go out. Do I want a man who goes on and on for hours? No! Do I enjoy feeling a man orgasm? Yes! But, just like some women don't orgasm every time, I'm sure that not all men ejaculate when they swing with new partners for various reasons other than the assumption that they are using ED drugs.

[JB 140]

Ok Chicup,

 

First off, I am pretty sure this is not the first time you have “ranted” about this --- don’t make me go dig through your posts.

 

Second, well, ok I completely agree with you, but you know that you just shouldn’t have included the line about not cumming, your making our argument look bad.

[DigginIt 1,132]

So, being a guy that has a full subscription from almost three years ago sitting in the cabinet. Okay, almost full as I gave a few away. They were fantastic when we came aboard. Here's the thing though from first hand experience. They don't affect how quickly I cum. The biggest thing that affects how quickly I cum is how much sex I have had.

 

Let's take the cruise for instance, we had sex every day, three times on one day, at least twice on several others. At that point, I'm not going to cum. Now, I'm ultra sensitive to the fact that my wife hates marathon sex. Twenty minutes and you better be close to done. I will back off and say, wow that was fantastic. I can't cum with a rubber. I've tried every type, with lube, without, lamb skin, and no use.

 

I have also noticed that there are times that I just can't cum with MD and that's late night after drinking (duh) and early morning sex. When I was 16 - 24 ish, I suffered from premature ejaculation...now I only wish!

[DigginIt 1,132]

- PS what I forgot to mention is that in all of those instances, I ONLY came with my wife and after I had taken the condom off.

 

If I had to choose, I would choose for my wife to have a guy that can't cum than can't get it up!

[Chicup 38]

See digginit knows what I'm talking about and that's exactly what we ran into. Twice. We did once on our nov cruise last year as well (and two young guys who couldn't keep it up).

 

Ladies this is one of those "man" things you can't quite grasp without a penis and know how it works. Most guys have limits and when you see "superhuman" ability odds are its augmented.

[Fours Company 169]

I for one am not going to second guess anyone's reasons for ED meds especially if using them helps during playtime and there are several reasons an otherwise healthy man might feel they need them beyond clinical ED.

 

Though I've had no general issues rising to the occasion there are times when things have gone south or not at 100% strength that had nothing to do with ED. Certain prescription drugs such as those for blood pressure are known for affecting staying power to one degree or the other as well as playing at a late hour or being just plain nervous with new partners. To say nothing of drinking, which is why we no longer consider it a necessary part of swinging.

To be honest just these instances alone has made me consider trying an ED med, even though it would not truly be medically needed.

 

As far as inability to come, I've occasionally had the issue that had nothing to do with meds, but mostly due to good ole fashioned anxiety of being in a new situation with someone as well as tiredness and trying too hard. In fact it took a few times even with Mrs. Fours when we first met before I could let go and come in her.

 

So while I can understand how someone going like a jackhammer endlessly due to ED meds could be annoying, I think it would be far less detrimental then the inability to get it up or keep it up without the meds for whatever reason.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Ladies this is one of those "man" things you can't quite grasp without a penis and know how it works. Most guys have limits and when you see "superhuman" ability odds are its augmented.

 

Hmmmph. Here's a thing that can't be grasped unless you're on the receiving end of a penis: Fucking (that started out as "being with," but I wanted to be very clear about exactly what I meant) a man who can't come, even if you come easily from penetration, is actually quite boring after not very much time because there isn't an arc of desire. So, it's kinda like watching a movie of a broken line; interesting as an experiment, but ultimately pointless.

 

My ideal man has a relatively short refractory period. Yes, age matters, but less than people seem to assume. Sometimes it's a matter of health, oftentimes it's lack of training. The use of alcohol, dehydration, lack of good physical conditioning, or assumptions about capability also affect refractory periods, at least in my experience.

 

M. can't come with a condom on, either. He deals with that by giving it a gentlemanly ten minutes or so and then using hands and mouth, which seems to work fine for his partners.

[Chicup 38]

Hmmmph. Here's a thing that can't be grasped unless you're on the receiving end of a penis: Fucking (that started out as "being with," but I wanted to be very clear about exactly what I meant) a man who can't come, even if you come easily from penetration, is actually quite boring after not very much time because there isn't an arc of desire. So, it's kinda like watching a movie of a broken line; interesting as an experiment, but ultimately pointless.

 

I hear you on this one, really I do, but whats worse, the man not coming or the man not getting it up? The problem I see with a lot of guys using this is they do "over use" their penis and yes then can't come. Had they not had sex that day earlier I'm sure there would be a happy compromise point. No 3 minutes and done, and no 20 minutes and nothing happening.

[sunbuckus 3,565]

Hmmmph. Here's a thing that can't be grasped unless you're on the receiving end of a penis: Fucking (that started out as "being with," but I wanted to be very clear about exactly what I meant) a man who can't come, even if you come easily from penetration, is actually quite boring after not very much time because there isn't an arc of desire. So, it's kinda like watching a movie of a broken line; interesting as an experiment, but ultimately pointless.

 

My ideal man has a relatively short refractory period. Yes, age matters, but less than people seem to assume. Sometimes it's a matter of health, oftentimes it's lack of training. The use of alcohol, dehydration, lack of good physical conditioning, or assumptions about capability also affect refractory periods, at least in my experience.

 

 

I'm in agreement. I'm sure that there are women who like being jack hammered for a very extended period and having men who don't come. But, for me, the ideal man would be able to ejaculate several times a night, with relatively short recovery periods in between. I like knowing I can make a man cum but, as I said above, men at swinger parties have their various reasons for not doing so. They can range from not being able to in a condom, holding back to extend playtime with others, wanting to save it for their spouse, or what ever other reasons.

 

As for the OP, I'm not sure what's bugging him most, the men who can't get it up or the men who have "superhuman" abilities in the sack? From my personal experience, the guys who have lasted the longest were younger. All the other men who were older not so much. I actually preferred the ones that didn't make my back/knees/etc. hurt from trying to impress me with their "prowess" in bed. In other words, don't look at not having "superhuman" abilities as being a downfall. It's probably preferred. But if you are thinking about your own ego, I can't help you there...because I'm not a man and apparently it's one of those '"man" things you can't quite grasp without a penis.'

[DigginIt 1,132]

GOD !!! I CAN'T HANDLE THE FUCKING PRESSURE !!

 

Is it going to work? How long is it going to work? Is it going to squirt? Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh !!!!

[Chicup 38]

Something you ladies just can't relate to is this. We guys don't have multiple orgasms, there is no "play time" after we are spent so to speak. Thats not to say that we can't do foreplay and the like, but once its over, its over.

 

So imagine this, you are overstimulated. You have been flirting, groping, kissing, anticipating etc for maybe a couple of hours. Finally the big moment of intercourse arrives, you manage to keep it up, despite the surroundings and a condom. All is good. And then your body says "hey I got a great idea lets cum now!" and you are thinking "noooo" and your body is saying "Yesss, in fact if you don't I might not even stay hard, you have been partying for 3 days straight, you have had sex with 2 other women already, now take it or leave it bub!" and you then release and all is done.

 

Then next to you is your wife, shes no her third position and still not at the "thats enough" phase (and my wife does NOT like marathon sex). In the mean time you have a woman who would like more with you, and no mater how understanding she is, its obvious she wasn't ready to be done for the night in terms of penetration. But lets not confuse marathon, sprint, and pleasant jog. There are times where I can go a marathon and times its a sprint, and nature doesn't let me know ahead of time.

 

 

The video is worth watching as it is and we've met the maker of it, but watch closely after 3:01.

[M1F2KTJ 470]

I try to stay hard for as long as it pleases my partner. I'm happy when my partner is happy. If we are both happy and satisfied it's time to relax and have a pleasant after sex drink. There is no need for a marathon. I've felt just as sore from the friction of hours of in and out as I'm sure my partner has. It's fun at first to have experienced it but then it's a been there done that no thanks.

[Chicup 38]

I'm trying to get across we are not talking about marathons as the alternative. The average time of intercourse is 3 minutes.

[81lizard69 469]

This is something that has been subtly bugging me for a while now and has recently hit the rant point.

 

Healthy guys on ED medication. Now I'm not on ED meds, I can get it up properly, but my guy is pretty limited in its functioning. One and done at least for a good 5 minutes, and after that done for even longer. Its ok, thats pretty normal.

 

The problem we seem to run into in swinging is guys who either can't get it up (bad).

Or can go forever and ever since they are on ED meds and most likely cleaned the pipes before playtime (annoying for me).

 

So there I'm feeling like a player not on steroids during sex. One of those clues the guy is on ED meds is he won't even cum. His body is still saying "too soon" but his penis didn't get the message.

 

I'm actually THIS close to just using them myself.

 

See digginit knows what I'm talking about and that's exactly what we ran into. Twice. We did once on our nov cruise last year as well (and two young guys who couldn't keep it up).

 

Ladies this is one of those "man" things you can't quite grasp without a penis and know how it works. Most guys have limits and when you see "superhuman" ability odds are its augmented.

 

I hear you on this one, really I do, but whats worse, the man not coming or the man not getting it up? The problem I see with a lot of guys using this is they do "over use" their penis and yes then can't come. Had they not had sex that day earlier I'm sure there would be a happy compromise point. No 3 minutes and done, and no 20 minutes and nothing happening.

 

Something you ladies just can't relate to is this. We guys don't have multiple orgasms, there is no "play time" after we are spent so to speak. Thats not to say that we can't do foreplay and the like, but once its over, its over.

 

So imagine this, you are overstimulated. You have been flirting, groping, kissing, anticipating etc for maybe a couple of hours. Finally the big moment of intercourse arrives, you manage to keep it up, despite the surroundings and a condom. All is good. And then your body says "hey I got a great idea lets cum now!" and you are thinking "noooo" and your body is saying "Yesss, in fact if you don't I might not even stay hard, you have been partying for 3 days straight, you have had sex with 2 other women already, now take it or leave it bub!" and you then release and all is done.

 

Then next to you is your wife, shes no her third position and still not at the "thats enough" phase (and my wife does NOT like marathon sex). In the mean time you have a woman who would like more with you, and no mater how understanding she is, its obvious she wasn't ready to be done for the night in terms of penetration. But lets not confuse marathon, sprint, and pleasant jog. There are times where I can go a marathon and times its a sprint, and nature doesn't let me know ahead of time.

 

 

The video is worth watching as it is and we've met the maker of it, but watch closely after 3:01.

 

I'm trying to get across we are not talking about marathons as the alternative. The average time of intercourse is 3 minutes.

 

 

You seem to be concentrating on the male bits to much. I focus on the female orgasm and have much better luck with the ladies. HA !!!

[Chicup 38]

 

The last time we encountered the ED medication "issue" the other female had 6 orgasms, yes we counted.

 

Focus people focus. Anyways I decided I'd give it a try and my wife will give the review here

[Chicup 38]

You Bastards!!!

 

Ok so guess who got his boner pills

 

Ok so I took one and had a good old normal orgasm via self help.

 

All good all normal.

 

About an 30 mins later, I read an erotic story. About three paragraphs in *boing*

 

So I go over and hug the wife. She notices something is amiss in my pants. "What are you doing?"

 

Me: "Upstairs"

 

So she knows what that means goes upstairs and we start to have sex...............................................................................................tick/tock..........................................................................energizer bunny............................

 

Her: "Is this an experiment?"

Me: "Yep!"

Her: "Oh God, I'm going to die!"

Me: "For science!"

 

and still going......................................................................................................................

 

Me: "Shit, I'm going to have to start doing more cardio."

Her: "I could have told you that."

 

A few breathers later............going.......rest.....going......slow.....fast...slow

 

Me: (panting) "Ok I'm giving you a break."

 

My legs are weak, my heart is racing, and I never came, and thats not using a condom!

 

So to all you guys out there, and you fucking damn well know who you are, "Oh I never come with a condom" "We can go as long as you like" FUCK YOU, YOU CHEATING BASTARDS

 

In swinging we have run into only 3 different kinda guys. #1 can't get it up. #2 was about as fast as I am normally. #3 goes forever, never comes. Well that explains #3 now.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Which color pill did you try

[Brad145 58]

Sounds like you had fun!

 

Next time try to be a group situation so you can spread it around a bit.

[Chicup 38]

Which color pill did you try

 

Beige, at the lowest dose (5mg).

[DigginIt 1,132]

You should try the 20mg one

[Chicup 38]

OK last piece on this.....

 

We just got back from a big local party. 100 couples, most our age or younger, most in shape. I say this so there is no possible need for ED medication.

 

I didn't see this but my wife did. A guy we know was giving cialis out (20mg) and apparently is the "go to" guy for it. She saw him passing it out to two guys in the course of only a few minutes. None of these guys should "need" it based on age or health, again just to be clear.

 

So yeah, and I think this is something of a new thing with younger swingers, we didn't really have this issue until recently (though to be honest we were out of the swinging loop for a while).

[Brad145 58]

I don't really get why you feel you get to decide what other people do to enjoy a party.

 

Why would I go to a party ($60-90 entry + $50-60 babysitter) and be done in 10 minutes (I'm a once and out guy, always have been) when I can spend $2, yes just 2 fucking dollars! for a 100mg Blue Pill and feel confident that I can enjoy the party the way I'd like to?

 

Last night at a party I had sex for at least an hour, came twice, came home and had sex with the wife again, then had sex with her again this afternoon, that's worth the extra money any day of the week to me.

 

Go ahead, take the high road, I'm not at parties to impress you, and I'm guessing those other guys aren't either.

[Chicup 38]

Take it easy Palmeiro, you see we were out of the swinging game for a few years, and we didn't realize just how common ED medication was in the lifestyle. I was never a couldn't get it up guy myself, but I wasn't super human either. Then we start to encounter this "fucking forever" thing which is not natural, period. This is a new thing in swinging for the most part, and much like male pornstars in the 90's complained about guys taking viagra making their rare skills valueless, thats how I felt.

 

And its not like guys would ever TELL the woman "hey baby I took a blue pill" no they were always just like that. So I'm not going to tell you how to have fun, but I do find it annoying I need to take a drug so that women used to guys faking it with a pill don't think I was over too fast

 

So I've joined you, but don't think I'll thank you for it, and quite frankly I don't get why you took this personally being its rather lighthearted.

 

[Brad145 58]

I'm not taking it personally, I'm just saying I found a way to make our night at the club more enjoyable and it works for us.

 

If I was asked if I used ED meds I would have no problem being honest about it, why wouldn't I?

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

I'll be honest and say that Pet has had issues with the "can't get it up" side of things. We finally discovered it was a lack of feeling totally comfortable with either the female or the situation (trying to fuck on a hard concrete floor). That said under other circumstances he can and often does go for an hour or more (no meds needed). I'll be honest and say that for me it's too long at times, and it's definitely too long in a swinging situation. The one upside in a swinging situation is that if he can stay hard like that he he please multiple women before it's his turn.

 

The host male of first swinger party group that I went to ages ago could go forever. I don't know if he was taking anything or not. His approach was that he was going to "make the rounds" so to speak and end the night with his wife. So he had no plans to get off with any other woman because he could only get off once in a night.

[81lizard69 469]

And I thought women were complicated animals when I started swinging. A woman can just lay back and raise her legs and get still find a way to have some fun. for me... I was at a party once when two women showed me some interest.. I was going fine till I saw my doing something that tested me. I went soft.. How the hell could a man go soft with two women on his......... I took a few minutes to get my head back on straight and thought wow.. There is alot more to sex and how my willie works. So why the hell not try the blue pill. I have had kidney stones and a rough vasectomy experience so I can use the help. I thank god for it.. But it does have side effects.. dammit. I take some actifed with it and that seems to work for me.

 

And You know its cool to have wood all night. I might talk about it here.. But I do not when we swing. Its none of their business what medication I am on.

[DigginIt 1,132]

I don't really get why you feel you get to decide what other people do to enjoy a party.

 

Even though Chicup has already responded to this thread, I thought I would chime in. What many men fail to realize is that many women DON"T want an all night fuck. After 12 minutes with MD you better be finishing up or your going home sad. I'm not talking about 12 minutes total, we are talking a solid 90 minutes but if you want to get into just fucking, 12 - 20 minutes tops.

 

There is also the attitude that you put into your statement "Why would I go to a party...and feel confident that I can enjoy the party the way I'd like to?" Too many people think it's about them. It's not about you, it's about you and your partner and if you feel you have been slighted because you spent an hour with a woman but only had intercourse for 20 minutes then you are not thinking about what's best for both of you at the moment but just what's best for you.

 

Swinging for us is about reading our partners and figuring out what they want. If they want to fuck for six hours then great but there is another thread on the board here somewhere I wish I could link too but it was a majority of women who stated they are not into marathon sex.

 

It's also not about impressing anyone but the person you are with and honestly, the impression after 20 minutes quickly turns to "god, I wish he would fucking finish," just our opinions.

[Chicup 38]

Somewhere there is a happy medium.

 

My wife doesn't like marathon sex, at all. There are times where I know shes thinking "OK DONE FINISH THIS" without having to even look. Shes a hard and fast kinda girl. That being said, and perhaps because I've been trained to be a hard and fast kinda guy, I've finished before the woman involved is "done". Now usually they have already orgasmed but I still feel bad in that situation (even if it IS a complement heh).

[LFM2 1,481]

>What many men fail to realize is that many women DON"T want an all night fuck. After 12 minutes with MD you better be finishing up or your going home sad. I'm not talking about 12 minutes total, we are talking a solid 90 minutes but if you want to get into just fucking, 12 - 20 minutes tops.

 

There is also the attitude that you put into your statement "Why would I go to a party...and feel confident that I can enjoy the party the way I'd like to?" Too many people think it's about them. It's not about you, it's about you and your partner and if you feel you have been slighted because you spent an hour with a woman but only had intercourse for 20 minutes then you are not thinking about what's best for both of you at the moment but just what's best for you.

 

Swinging for us is about reading our partners and figuring out what they want. If they want to fuck for six hours then great but there is another thread on the board here somewhere I wish I could link too but it was a majority of women who stated they are not into marathon sex.

 

It's also not about impressing anyone but the person you are with and honestly, the impression after 20 minutes quickly turns to "god, I wish he would fucking finish," just our opinions.

 

Thank. You.

[kelleyandsusan 44]

Sex is about passion, not just, getting off. Love the one your with, even for that brief moment. That can make all the difference in the world.

Look into your partners eyes and become one, and screw the drugs