Like you, we don't leave our kids with anyone either. My family is 800 miles away, anyhow. And the explaining can be tough too. But like you said, it takes multiple visits usually to see whether there is a good feeling about someone or not. Where we live, we're way out in the country. We have to drive at least 20 miles to get to town, and 50 miles to get to a city. Traffic here being what it is, and prices jacked sky-high to welcome tourists (LOL) we just usually don't enjoy trying to meet anyone. When we do, we try our best to ask pertinent questions and look for signs of acceptance or rejection. We really are starting to dislike this trial and error stuff....
Like I said earlier, when we finally DO get to play with anyone, it really wasn't worth all the effort.
And maybe the kid issue IS why there are so many 50 and 60 year-old swingers! LOL
Ron, Husband of Stratecpl