Well, I have been at that 'delete/wip all' situation myself. Which is tough on anyone when your partner is finished with the whole thing, but you still want to play (as I read this situation here).
I took the high road like most of you out there would do and just... well... uh........ pouted.... lol. Well I tried not to pout... but I am sure I did for a while. What kept running through my mind was how vanilla our activities were without swinging. I would look at a companionable night with my wife and think how much more fun the club would be while we were watching some mindless movie. Although, this attitude existed more in the beginning of the "I want out" moment and not so much as time wore on. I truly love my wife and there wasn't even a choice between swinging and her, but I did fall prey to daydreaming and wishful thinking for a while.
Time wore on and eventually it re-worked itself into our fantasies and then my wife started really missing it herself. We discussed it all and re-entered. We have taken breaks for the most part because we need the breather and to reassure each other. They do almost naturally fall over fall and Christmas season, without meaning for them to... just what occurs.
Luv2play, for my wife, I just believed she needed to know that 'WE' exist without swinging. Sometimes it looks to be too difficult and painful (guilt) for the payoff, but then something changes and you look at it as not so difficult. You get caught up in swinging in the beginning and fall into the trap of talking, thinking, and doing swinging all the time. After a while it can build up and make one or the other partner feel lost on a runaway train.
If she is not interested in any compromise activities, my advice would be to do what I eventually did. Take down the profiles, cut off the modem, unplug the computer, close down your chat program, stop reading this board, clean up your thoughts, find a substitute hobby, and turn your attention on this wondrous creature that loves you. Fall in love and lust all over again WITHOUT swinging. Stop listening to that little 'two year old' who lost his new toy and concentrate on what makes you two soulmates. I have no doubts that the original temptation of swinging will resurface for you both. If it does or doesn't, you are doing what God has intended for you.... to love this lady.
Such great advice and information on this site. Thanks. Soulmates...you really sound exactly like us. My wife said it look like I wrote your post...lol. Thanks for the insite. I already started doing the same things you did. I deleted all our profile info and stuff now. We sound like the same person. I am glad that thinks seem to be working out for you...
We took a break last year while I was deployed. We did it for several reasons, one of which is we agreed in the beginning of our adventures that we would only play together. Even though I told her I was comfortable with her going to get togethers and playing with friends we already knew, she chose not to (she said that was because she didn't want to be having fun if something bad happened to me).
We resumed participating in the Lifestyle a few months after I returned, but once again we are taking a break. This time, though, it is not a break from the Lifestyle, but rather a break from the websites and meeting new couples. We still meet with our existing friends, and even meet new ones at the clubs. The websites just became too time consumning, and we have been overwhelmed by contacts (I think it was the very lovely picture of her we had posted)