Is kissing a big deal?

[frenzb4sex]

I think one of the funniest things is the mindset people have about this. At first, we were introduced to swinging by a couple who didn't kiss. Their explanation--too intimate. Too much "love" involved. We took that with a grain of salt at first, but then found that after a while the non-kissing aspect did not seem natural. We didn't enjoy just the sexual part as much because of this.

After we hooked up with some more couples who did like kissing, it became clear that we are indeed cuddlers and kissers at heart. And while some people may think that kissing is intimate, is not the act of sex considered the same exact thing in terms of intimacy? Here you are, vulnerable as ever naked with another person, having sex...how is that not as intimate as kissing someone? I am not meaning this in the polyamory sort of way, please don't take it that way! Look at it from a soft swinging perspective--people who will do everything short of the physical act of sex in many cases--because they consider it too intimate, or again, something that they want to have just for their spouse. The ironic thing in many of these situations is that soft swingers often will kiss-making out--but won't do the intercourse part.

I mean, in order to do this in the first place--swinging that is--there is a need to have the trust and security at a level that most don't ever get to, especially in the "vanilla" life. So, you already have that trust level and know that you are going to have your spouse when it's all said and done, so why is it then that kissing is taboo for some? I can stick my dick in your mouth but not my tongue? Sorry, that's crass, but has some measure of truth to it.

I totally understand if there are things in swinging that people save for their own spouses. Some people don't do anal, some don't do oral, some don't do kissing. And I think that's fine. But if you are not doing it because you feel that it's too intimate, I think that people are totally missing that the entire act of sex itself is, in fact, intimate in nature. To me, they are missing out on a great and natural thing that makes most people's motors purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and the sex that much better. I can understand the soft swinging thing, because kissing is one of the first steps in the sexual process...but they stop when it gets to the upper levels of sex. For those that swing full but don't kiss, to me it's almost as if they are skipping to the end of the book to get the ending without reading the whole story!!!!!

JMHO!

Tim

[HotCoupleGnS]

Well, like I said when I strated this thread, we do kiss some. It's not like we just hop in bed & start fucking. I just don't see anything wrong with saving something to share between yourselves.
And basically, if a couple doesn't agree with our opinion then they need to find another couple to fuck. We love each other more than anything in the whole world, we like having something that is "just for us."

[browneyez6969]

Maybe you should explore it at your next meeting. Pay more attention to it . See how you feel . Notice what your Mr. Does and see how it makes you feel. Best thing I can think of is to test it out and see how the other feels about it. Thats what we did.

[HotCoupleGnS]

We don't need to test it out. As I have said before, we kiss some. So we have tried it out. We just enjoy keeping it for ourselves.

[Chemistry_0518]

Keeping the kisses for yourselves is understandable, but please make certain to inform your play partners well in advance. Reasonable people will accept and abide by your limits.

There is nothing worse than "Oh, by the way . . ." just as things heat up.

[tntfuncpl]

I had never thought about the no kissing rule until recently. We were coming home from a ballgame w/ another couple and the other woman was driving and my hubby was up front w/ her. I was in the back w/ the other man. We parked for a bit and all started playing around for a few minutes. I DID NOT like seeing my husband "making out" with her. It was like they were dating or something - and it seemed waaaay to sensual. The act of seeing them fuck later that night was great - but I didnt like the kissing. I am not sure if it was just because it wasnt leading to sex right then - or what. My husband didnt quite understand - but I thought it was too intimate at the time. I do agree that it can be a great part of the sexual experience - so I am not banning it. I guess we'll just see how I feel the next time.

[HotCoupleGnS]

Well tntfuncpl I'm glad to see someone can see how we feel. We do tell anyone that we have any encounter with.

[SluttyWife]

Count me in amongst the kissers.

I find outright sex (oral, intercourse) *far* more intimate. Sides that kissing is just plain fun and can be done just about anywhere.

Be sure to brush your teeth at least an hour ahead
to avoid any bleeding gums that would otherwise make it totally unsafe.

I am not advocating that kissing is safe sex, here....but the mouth
does provide a nice hostile very HIV-unfriendly environment.
flamethrow


That said don't kiss just anyone, especially frogs.

[Uneed_Love]

Originally Posted by SluttyWife

That said don't kiss just anyone, especially frogs.

CROAK CROAK

BIG KISSES TO YA'LL

JC the jumping and croaking Frog

[Avantgarden38]

We often encounter hesitation with different comfort levels such as kissing, same room, bisexuality, anal sex, condoms to name a few. Some are easy to understand and others are not. We personally can't understand how one could be comfortable with sex, yet not comfortable with a kiss. Even just a closed-mouth kiss. We have been with couples that wouldn't kiss and it was very uncomfortable. Kissing for us is both a fire-starter and a segue into other adventures.

When we make rules for ourselves we always ask "why are we making this rule" and "what is the worst that might happen if we didn't have it". Many times we found our rules were just foolish and dropped them. Just because we share something with someone else (like a kiss), certainly doesn't detract from what it means to us. We don't feel the need to "save something special", because what we have is already so special. When we are spending time with our swing partners we want to be able to give it 100% and make the most of a unique experience.

[Chemistry_0518]

We agree with you Avant. We have run into only a couple of situations in which someone that we played with had a limit on kissing. We complied and honored that limit as we would in all cases, but it felt SO weird.

[iamorpheus]

[b] I will be the first to admit that I am the biggest hypocrit . I told my wife that we should not kiss because of the loving feeling and the special bond that it is normally associated with. Well why in the hell then did I talk my beautiful, and loving wife to perform felatio on The male during one our first swinging sessions. Now that Im thinking about it and I read all your posting I feel like a Dick......Am I a Dick guys?

[Chemistry_0518]

Sure seems that way IAM.

[SluttyWife]

Originally Posted by Uneed_Love

CROAK CROAK

BIG KISSES TO YA'LL

JC the jumping and croaking Frog

Mon Couer!


;-*

[Romily]

Just my (very limited) experience - we are very new to the life style ( mmf and mfmf),and kissing is something i have a prob with. My man loves kissing, and wouldn't have a prob with me kissing the other bloke, but somehow for me a passionate kiss is much more emotional than the sex thing - I just don't fancy kissing somebody besides my man. I don't mind kissing their whole body, just a kiss with tongue is not really happening

I also still fight with some jealousy demons, and though I was fine to see him shagging another woman, I had a bit a problem seeing him kissing her...

But that's just me, and I can't rationally explain why I feel that way - it's just the way it is....