Your comments on kissing someone other than your spouse.

11-04-2003, 03:04 AM

We only have one rule,we don't kiss anyone but each other.Is it fair for someone else to get upset with you if you tell them this,or should they respect your wishes?

MCityCpl · 11-04-2003, 03:25 AM

the way we do it, is no mouth to mouth kissing (the girls can always kiss each other). Throw that on top of the fact we are only soft, and it sometimes makes you wonder what we do, do. To be honest with you, its one of our personal boundries and we've never run into anyone who hasn't respected that.

RockrcplOrlando · 11-04-2003, 05:41 AM

here is my take on it....if it's not your thing to do, don't do it...It doesn't make you wrong, and people should respect your limits, just like i'd assume you'd respect theirs. For my wife and i...we love to kiss, and while we don't kiss everyone....finding couples that like to kiss rocks for us...

Handyman69 · 11-04-2003, 07:49 AM

"To each their own" Never do anything that your uncomfortable with and most people respect that. We love to kiss and I see nothing wrong with that ..........I feel it really adds to the desire.
John

11-04-2003, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dvssgrbby
We only have one rule,we don't kiss anyone but each other.Is it fair for someone else to get upset with you if you tell them this,or should they respect your wishes?

The reason why I asked is because we weretalking to this person and she was all for playing with us but when she madea comment about kissing my hubby and he told her that we don't do that she got pissed.We have never had that reaction before and wondered why she reacted like she did.Thanks.

imsnowman · 11-04-2003, 12:05 PM

Because she's a human being and we are notoroiously illogical

***JustAskJulie*** · 11-04-2003, 03:29 PM

This isn't that uncommon of a rule really as you can see from these posts:

Do you reserve kissing for your partner only?

Do you find kissing to be a normal part of swinging play?

Can't Handle heavy kissing between wife and another man

Opinions about Kissing?

As far as others getting upset when you tell them of this rule. I think that most people who don't have the rule don't really understand why someone else would. That doesn't mean tho that they should just accept it as your rule and leave it at that. It's up to them to determine whether or not it is a deal-breaker as far as playing with you goes. But they really don't have any right to get upset about it.

Brit_Pair · 11-04-2003, 05:40 PM

First, our take on the whole 'respect for people's limits' thread:

If you have rules that you feel perfectly comfortable with, and meet people who don't/won't respect them, then look for new people to play with. That may sound simplistic, but why should you be pressured into breaking personal boundaries and undertaking activities you don't wish to? If playmates stamp their feet instead of respecting your wishes, then politely show them the door. There are other people to play with out there.

Now our stance on the 'kissing with others' issue:

When we play with another couple, the two girls can kiss themselves silly, but beyond that, we don't swap for mouth to mouth. We see it as an especially intimate act, and one we prefer to keep for the two of us.

biblonde · 11-04-2003, 06:19 PM

To each his own i guess. Personally i cant imagine having sex without kissing. It is something i love doing!! I cant imagine sticking a guys cock in my mouth but not letting him kiss me?? I have no problems watching other women kiss my hubby either. We have ran into couples where the woman doesnt like very much "french" kissing going on because she feels there is to much passion there . I totally respect that and keep it limited. I always ask new couples their thoughts on kissing before we even meet.

I think if you are going to play with someone then all rules have to be agreed upon before hand not in the heat of the moment. That way you all can decide if you want to take it to the next level or not. I always ask....do you guys kiss, do you french kiss, is there a limit on how much kissing goes on. If they dont kiss at all then i think we would have to turn them down...I feel it is just part of sex.....takes nothing away from my feelings tward my hubby and it takes nothing away from how he feels about me.

I cant imagine though, getting upset with someone who tells us no kissing. That seems a little to out there. I think i would just say sorry....no match here. We are all suppose to be adults here not children....those that throw fits over others rules instead of just saying sorry...but we dont see a match here....really need to grow up!

Always stick to your rules and dont let others change them...you will meet someone who agrees with you in time!!

that is my 2 cents for today!!

jcbicouple · 11-04-2003, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dvssgrbby
The reason why I asked is because we weretalking to this person and she was all for playing with us but when she madea comment about kissing my hubby and he told her that we don't do that she got pissed.We have never had that reaction before and wondered why she reacted like she did.Thanks.

We would never play with anyone who got "pissed" over one of our rules. It's one thing to not agree or not share the same interests, but to get mad is a really really BIG red flag! She obviously wouldn't respect any boundries the two of you set, which could cause for a very unpleasant situation for everyone. As to "Why" anyone would react that way....well, some people are just like that.

De and Ci · 11-04-2003, 08:09 PM

Before we started playing, we thought we wouldn't be kissing other couples. However, in the heat of the moment, I've kissed the other partner, in a sexual way of course. I don't think my wife has-at least openmouthed. But she doesen't care if I do and it doesen't matter to me. Its just part of the sexual experience-I guess we are secure with our relationship

hfire269 · 11-04-2003, 08:35 PM

We agree with everyone else. WE all have rules that we follow and if someone doesnt liek them then its their lose not ours:-)
Hfire269 (female half)

ionsawmill · 11-04-2003, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by biblonde
To each his own i guess. Personally i cant imagine having sex without kissing. It is something i love doing!! I cant imagine sticking a guys cock in my mouth but not letting him kiss me?? I have no problems watching other women kiss my hubby either.

I'm with you, biblonde. I can't imagine sex without mouth-kissing. It's just too big a part of foreplay with me. Not being allowed to kiss would be like tying my hands behing my back. I would like to hear one rational excuse for not kissing someone you're willing to lick, suck or penetrate. If we're confident enough to swing, we should be confident enough to kiss. Anyone who thinks their relationship can't survive a little Frenching should not, in my opinion, even think of swinging.

I think it would have to be a deal-breaker for us.

Quote:

We have ran into couples where the woman doesnt like very much "french" kissing going on because she feels there is to much passion there .

Sounds more like jealousy and insecurity to me. I've expressed my feelings about this on other threads. I can't understand how there can be "too much passion" between two people who are having sex?!?! For that matter, how can any sex act between consenting adults be "passionless". It reveals a very immature view of love and attraction; one that treats love as a limited quantity; once you've given it to someone, you have no more left to give. My wife and I are deeply passionate about each other, but that doesn't mean there isn't passion enough for another partner. To say that I have to "hold back" a part of me, lest I cross some line and go too far, would be a disrespectful underestimation of our relationship and our love.

Neither of us is afraid of a little passion. If, by some strange twist of fate, either of us should find someone whom we love as much as each other, then "by golly, we're going poly"! In the meantime, I refuse to treat the rock-solid love I have for her like a porcelain vase that needs protecting.

We're looking for friends and lovers, not inflatable sex dolls. If we wanted impersonal, emotionless sex with passionless partners, we'd hire professionals (who, oddly enough, typically don't kiss).

11-05-2003, 12:05 AM

I just wanted to know why that person would act that way not get ragged on,So I am done in here..Thanks for nothing.

RockrcplOrlando · 11-05-2003, 12:13 AM

Quote:

I just wanted to know why that person would act that way not get ragged on,So I am done in here..Thanks for nothing.

If you think you're getting ragged on, I'm sorry you feel that way...no one to my knowledge here has said you are wrong, we've all been pretty sympathetic...if it's because a vast majority don't understand why you don't enjoy kissing...sorry..we're just stating our opinion...

now i want to know why someone would think they were being ragged on, because others stated THEIR preference, yet didn't diminish yours.

Shawn and Heather

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11-04-2003, 03:04 AM	#1 (permalink)
Dvssgrbby Guest Posts: n/a	Your comments on kissing someone other than your spouse. We only have one rule,we don't kiss anyone but each other.Is it fair for someone else to get upset with you if you tell them this,or should they respect your wishes?
Dvssgrbby Guest Posts: n/a

11-04-2003, 05:41 AM	#3 (permalink)
RockrcplOrlando Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 49 Location: Orlando Status: Couple	On Kissing someone other than your spouse here is my take on it....if it's not your thing to do, don't do it...It doesn't make you wrong, and people should respect your limits, just like i'd assume you'd respect theirs. For my wife and i...we love to kiss, and while we don't kiss everyone....finding couples that like to kiss rocks for us...

11-04-2003, 03:29 PM	#7 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,287 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	This isn't that uncommon of a rule really as you can see from these posts: Do you reserve kissing for your partner only? Do you find kissing to be a normal part of swinging play? Can't Handle heavy kissing between wife and another man Opinions about Kissing? As far as others getting upset when you tell them of this rule. I think that most people who don't have the rule don't really understand why someone else would. That doesn't mean tho that they should just accept it as your rule and leave it at that. It's up to them to determine whether or not it is a deal-breaker as far as playing with you goes. But they really don't have any right to get upset about it.
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

11-04-2003, 05:40 PM	#8 (permalink)
Brit_Pair Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 3,635 Location: UK Status: Couple	First, our take on the whole 'respect for people's limits' thread: If you have rules that you feel perfectly comfortable with, and meet people who don't/won't respect them, then look for new people to play with. That may sound simplistic, but why should you be pressured into breaking personal boundaries and undertaking activities you don't wish to? If playmates stamp their feet instead of respecting your wishes, then politely show them the door. There are other people to play with out there. Now our stance on the 'kissing with others' issue: When we play with another couple, the two girls can kiss themselves silly, but beyond that, we don't swap for mouth to mouth. We see it as an especially intimate act, and one we prefer to keep for the two of us.
	__________________ *It's not going to be an orgy. It's a toga party . . .*

11-04-2003, 03:25 AM	#2 (permalink)
MCityCpl Registered Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 9 Location: NWIndiana Status: Couple	the way we do it, is no mouth to mouth kissing (the girls can always kiss each other). Throw that on top of the fact we are only soft, and it sometimes makes you wonder what we do, do. To be honest with you, its one of our personal boundries and we've never run into anyone who hasn't respected that.

11-04-2003, 07:49 AM	#4 (permalink)
Handyman69 Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 553 Location: MI..God's country.so we thought. Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:handyman69	"To each their own" Never do anything that your uncomfortable with and most people respect that. We love to kiss and I see nothing wrong with that ..........I feel it really adds to the desire. John

11-04-2003, 12:05 PM	#6 (permalink)
imsnowman Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 429 Location: TX Status: couple	Because she's a human being and we are notoroiously illogical

11-04-2003, 06:19 PM	#9 (permalink)
biblonde Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,020 Location: sacramento Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:curious1918	To each his own i guess. Personally i cant imagine having sex without kissing. It is something i love doing!! I cant imagine sticking a guys cock in my mouth but not letting him kiss me?? I have no problems watching other women kiss my hubby either. We have ran into couples where the woman doesnt like very much "french" kissing going on because she feels there is to much passion there . I totally respect that and keep it limited. I always ask new couples their thoughts on kissing before we even meet. I think if you are going to play with someone then all rules have to be agreed upon before hand not in the heat of the moment. That way you all can decide if you want to take it to the next level or not. I always ask....do you guys kiss, do you french kiss, is there a limit on how much kissing goes on. If they dont kiss at all then i think we would have to turn them down...I feel it is just part of sex.....takes nothing away from my feelings tward my hubby and it takes nothing away from how he feels about me. I cant imagine though, getting upset with someone who tells us no kissing. That seems a little to out there. I think i would just say sorry....no match here. We are all suppose to be adults here not children....those that throw fits over others rules instead of just saying sorry...but we dont see a match here....really need to grow up! Always stick to your rules and dont let others change them...you will meet someone who agrees with you in time!! that is my 2 cents for today!!

11-04-2003, 08:09 PM	#11 (permalink)
De and Ci Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 183 Location: Austin TX Status: happily married	Before we started playing, we thought we wouldn't be kissing other couples. However, in the heat of the moment, I've kissed the other partner, in a sexual way of course. I don't think my wife has-at least openmouthed. But she doesen't care if I do and it doesen't matter to me. Its just part of the sexual experience-I guess we are secure with our relationship

11-04-2003, 08:35 PM	#12 (permalink)
hfire269 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 264 Location: Mount Wolf, PA Status: Married Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:hfire269	We agree with everyone else. WE all have rules that we follow and if someone doesnt liek them then its their lose not ours:-) Hfire269 (female half)

11-05-2003, 12:05 AM	#14 (permalink)
Dvssgrbby Guest Posts: n/a	Forget I said anything I just wanted to know why that person would act that way not get ragged on,So I am done in here..Thanks for nothing.
Dvssgrbby Guest Posts: n/a

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