Your comments on kissing someone other than your spouse.

[yawanna]

I just wanted to know why that person would act that way

The only person with the answer to that question, is the person who did it.

We're pretty smart here, but not mind readers

I never said we didn't enjoy kissing where did I say that tell me ,I just asked why someone would get upset or pissed that we prefer not to kiss other people.I just got upset because they way some people typed what they wanted to say came out as if what we prefer is wrong and that we shouldn't feel that way,when we are with other couples I only kiss sthe other women but that's as far as it goes.And about being secure in our relationship we are very much so if we werent would we even be in this lifestyle.We are new to this so right now that is how we prefer it.Sorry to offend anyone.

[RockrcplOrlando]

I only kiss the other women but that's as far as it goes.

again your choice is your choice...but you will see a vast majority prefer to kiss while playing,don't be pressured into anything you aren't comfortable with...but i do have to ask..why would you be willing to kiss the woman but not the male in the couple...this does sound like some sort of insecurity....but not on your part, if you know what i mean...


Shawn and Heather

Originally posted by RockrcplOrlando
again your choice is your choice...but you will see a vast majority prefer to kiss while playing,don't be pressured into anything you aren't comfortable with...but i do have to ask..why would you be willing to kiss the woman but not the male in the couple...this does sound like some sort of insecurity....but not on your part, if you know what i mean...


Shawn and Heather

The reason why is because both couples we played with had the same rule woman to woman was fine,but thats all,but like I said we are new to this and right now that's how we want it maybe later on we will change how we feel.

[ionsawmill]

I'm sorry if I offended you. I actually wasn't referring to your post, but to biblonde's post. In fact, I directly quoted biblonde's post.

To paraphrase Julie, people on one side of this issue may never understand the other side. That doesn't mean we shouldn't discuss it. I'm sure you have a perfectly good reason for not kissing. I was just pointing out that no one has expressed such a reason, except for the woman mentioned in biblonde's post. In fact, from this latest post, I gather that we're on the same side of this discussion. I wasn't implying that everybody should kiss everybody, just that I saw no reason, in my opinion, for a man not to kiss a woman who is not his significant other or vice versa. Also, if I understand your post correctly, your wife is the one who doesn't kiss. If that's so, then read below regarding my wife's comments.

Give us your reasoning behind not kissing in the situations wherin you wouldn't kiss. Hopefully, we can turn this into an meaningful discourse instead of a sparring match.

After reading my post, my wife said she didn't agree with me. She has a problem with kissing, too. So you see, this has already been a learning experience for me.

I'm sorry my post sounded abusive. Sometimes, when I'm truly dumbfounded, I lapse into rant-mode. Please forgive me.

Tainted Homily (living up to his nickname)

Originally posted by ionsawmill
I'm sorry if I offended you. I actually wasn't referring to your post, but to biblonde's post. In fact, I directly quoted biblonde's post.

To paraphrase Julie, people on one side of this issue may never understand the other side. That doesn't mean we shouldn't discuss it. I'm sure you have a perfectly good reason for not kissing. I was just pointing out that no one has expressed such a reason, except for the woman mentioned in biblonde's post. In fact, from this latest post, I gather that we're on the same side of this discussion. I wasn't implying that everybody should kiss everybody, just that I saw no reason, in my opinion, for a man not to kiss a woman who is not his significant other or vice versa. Also, if I understand your post correctly, your wife is the one who doesn't kiss. If that's so, then read below regarding my wife's comments.

Give us your reasoning behind not kissing in the situations wherin you wouldn't kiss. Hopefully, we can turn this into an meaningful discourse instead of a sparring match.

After reading my post, my wife said she didn't agree with me. She has a problem with kissing, too. So you see, this has already been a learning experience for me.

I'm sorry my post sounded abusive. Sometimes, when I'm truly dumbfounded, I lapse into rant-mode. Please forgive me.

Tainted Homily (living up to his nickname)

My wife is the one that does kiss but only other women right now,we just started swinging and arent ready to kiss other people other than our spouse, but eventually would like to .But so far the couples we have played with have the same rules woman/woman is fine but everything else is nil.We definately enjoy it and would love to find the right people to do so with.We both consider it very erotic but just aren't ready to share that yet,have only been in this lifestyle for 4 months.And thank you for your reply.

[biblonde]

I am sorry also if i sounded offensive. I too at the start of this lifestyle didnt want to kiss another man....but as i became comfy with the people i didnt mind and did like it!...I wasnt saying it was wrong of you to not want to, just that is not my choice. I also said that dont let anyone change your rules that you set. If it makes you uncomfy then dont do it. I dont see why anyone would get upset with you guys as long as it was discussed ahead of time...then still there shouldnt be any fussin. If another couple says hey we dont.......then we say okay fine no big deal...there is always other stuff to do. Anyone who gets upset by the rules you set down isnt someone you want to play with....shows lack of respect on their part and well if they dont respect one rule.....the rest will get trampled on soon after that.

I wish you all the luck and again if i sounded rude or offensive i apologize!

[good times]

For us if the other couple isn't into kissing it is, as Julie said earlier, "a deal breaker" for us. That being said, we would never get mad or angry about it, as many have said here, we all have personal limitations and if that is yours we would totally respect that and simply decline to play.

R

[ionsawmill]

I wouldn't get mad. This is something that should have come up in chat or on the first couple of "dates". We would never get as far as sexual contact without discussing something like this.

Although we haven't swung yet, we have a plan that we discussed when we first started investigating the possibility: chat or email for a few weeks; go on a couple of G-rated outings (dinner, drinks, dancing); move to a more intimate stage, including sexual contact. If we do it right, issues like where we can touch and what we can do should be pretty much ironed out by the time we reach the first meeting.

Of course, not everything is going to come up in the first few chats, emails or even meetings. These things have to be taken as they come, while keeping the lines of communication open and being considerate of others' feelings.

[angihay]

I think everyone has their own boundries and feel that these should be discussed ahead of time and should be respected. If someone does not wish to respect them then their loss not yours.

[riffnbrat]

That is one of our rules no mouth kissin (only the ladies can do that) That is just to intiment that i saved for us

[ionsawmill]

If it's too intimate and you're saving it, then why is it ok for your wife to kiss another woman? Yours is not the first post to include the caveat "only the women can kiss". Basically, what I am asking is this: what is "less intimate" about your wife kissing another woman? I'm curious:

• Is this part of the same double standard that edifies female bisexuality?

• Is it just that women-kissing-women is "eye candy" for the men
involved, and therefore acceptable?

• Is it that kissing is inherant to same-sex contact amongst
women, so you're willing to overlook some intimate kissing in order
to maintain the female bisexualism, or appearance of such, which
seems to be so important in the lifestyle?

I would think that if the intimacy of kissing were so important to you, that the "women only" disclaimer would be unnecessary, if not contridictory.

[Elusive BiFem]

I'm glad you asked these questions, ionsawmill. I've wondered the same things but didn't know exactly how to go about asking.

Curious minds, you know. - EBF