To Kiss or Not to Kiss

[prettylady]

I agree with gauging a playmate with a kiss.
You really can tell alot from a kiss. I am more intrested with how aggressive a playmate kisses. If it is my first kiss with him and he goes all out trying to taste what I had for supper that evening the question comes up, will he be respectful if he tries something I am not ready for.
My first good experience with a swing couple had the Mr. ask first if I wanted him to kiss me. That spoke volumes about his respect for me, and he is the only playmate that I trust completely. If he asked me to stand on my head close my eyes and ask no questions about the buzzing sound I was hearing, I may think that strange but I would trust him, just because he took the time to introduce himself slowly and intimatly(sp?). Trust is huge with me.
Slow and intimate I really don't think can be done when the first contact you have is bumping uglies.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[Tia Vampire]

I (the female half) loves to kiss, but my fiance does not like to kiss a smoker. If the first kiss is smokey, then no more kissing for him. He says the taste is awful. He won't even kiss me until I brush my teeth or wash my mouth out with scope.

[cplnuswing]

The "no kissing rule" was brought up during our initial rules discussion when we were discussing the Lifestyle and didn't even make it to the end of the conversation before it was thrown out. We both agreed it would just feel so awkward, like running the bases backwards on a baseball diamond. Whether it is simply social conditioning, familiar habit, or something else, some things just seem to have a natural progression and to try to envision doing it differently would feel very strange, almost robotic, at least for us.

Given that, we both agreed we would be hurt if the other exchanging deep, emotional "soul kisses" with another. Granted, a subjective rule, but we both agreed we would easily know it when we saw it, either as an observer or participant. We aren't worried about it though since we agreed that to even get to a point where one of us could feel that kind of deep emotional connection with someone else, it would come as no surprise at that point. There would have to be some very serious relationship issues between us, and if those kind of issues were present, they would have revealed themselves long before then and we wouldn't be in the Lifestyle anyway since it is something we do for fun as a couple.

Another couple's no-kissing rule would be a no-go for us. Everybody is entitled to their rules and what works for them, just wouldn't be compatible with us.

[Jamie&Kieth]

Kissing is part of sex, ergo we kiss, besides I enjoy it it a lot!

Karen

[xxoticangel]

We started out as strictly "No kissing". That changed a couple of years ago. The only rule we have left is same room.

[Spoomonkey]

I think it is interesting how overwhelming the "pro-kissers" are right now. I remember when there were more people in the "no kissing" group...

Interesting how these things come and go cycles...

Spoomonkey

[redeye69]

wouldnt that take the intimacy out of it i couldnt imagine not kissing and carresing the person or persons i would eventualy be having sex with

[purpletiger]

DKent,

If I read your question correctly, you think kissing is the most intimate of practices? To each his own, but like everyone else here (so far), we consider kissing the starting point before going further. In fact, it may never go further, but kissing sure does make it fun.

I think there are a lot more intimate practice than kissing! IMHO.

[WeMayTryIt]

Originally Posted by purpletiger

DKent,

If I read your question correctly, you think kissing is the most intimate of practices? To each his own, but like everyone else here (so far), we consider kissing the starting point before going further. In fact, it may never go further, but kissing sure does make it fun.

I think there are a lot more intimate practice than kissing! IMHO.

Yeah..I've never heard of a friendly "peck" between the cheeks...

We agree with the statement that not kissing would be too robotic and mechanical.

[ShellyM]

Everyone has their own comfort zones and rules. With Jay and I, we do not play with couples or singles who have the no kissing rule. Kissing is just essential to both of us, we LOVE it. But hey, as long as you are up front from the beginning and leave it to the other couple/single to decide its up to you. Shelly

[LFM2]

Like a lot of couples, this was one of our rules that flew out the window in about a nanosecond. We love to kiss. It's wonderful and gets the feelings flowing and we just think it's sooo much fun!

[LOL_OMG]

When we first started we probably never got to the no kissing rule because we ran out of ink, or paper, heh. Now we have two rules, all parties must have teeth(Inserted), and no one younger than Mrs. Lol's daughter.

Mr. Lol

[cubnamy1995]

For us, we just can't imagine the conversation:

"Now honey, feel free to slobber all over his dick all you want, but don't kiss him!"

Seriously, half of the fun for me is watching the girls kiss. I love that

But alas, the Mrs. says I am better at kissing the lips she doesn't talk with, so I just go with the flow...

[LOL_OMG]

Originally Posted by cubnamy1995

For us, we just can't imagine the conversation:

"Now honey, feel free to slobber all over his dick all you want, but don't kiss him!"

Seriously, half of the fun for me is watching the girls kiss. I love that

But alas, the Mrs. says I am better at kissing the lips she doesn't talk with, so I just go with the flow...

Amen to the first, and sort of an amen to the second. what I mean by that is to have two women working over your shaft, then decide they want to kiss is very good....and very not good at the same time. Talk about the brain going yeah, no, yeah no at the same time.

Mr. Lol

Back to the post, it seems a bit redundunt after a while to say 'we will kiss no others'.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by DKent

...who amongst you like to kiss the total stranger you're banging crotches with, and who saves that most intimate of practices for the SO? It seems that it might be undesirable at times to kiss that person you just met, even though sex with them is fun. Comments?

If I'm interested enough to have sex with somebody, why would I find it undesirable to kiss them? Kissing is an important part of sex and sexual foreplay for both my husband and I. We both get very turned-on with kissing. We don't think of kissing as "that most intimate of practices" - it's part of an overall satisfying experience. Not kissing would be the equivalent of having a "no touching with hands" rule. How awkward would that be? Sex in swinging isn't just "banging crotches", to us. It's a complete experience involving all of the physical senses. We are into sensual sex. We avoid the couples who seem to think swinging sex should be fast/hard/crude and lacking in sensuality, to set it apart from what they have together.

Some people compare their own powerful, emotional reactions that they share as a couple when they have sex together, with what sex in swinging is like, and they start striking all sorts of things off the list, based on this. The truth of the matter is that you can do all of the same physical things with other people, and not feel emotionally or intimately bonded with them. You can kiss, caress, and be very passionate in sex with others, but not feel all of those loving feelings that you feel when you do the same things with your beloved. It's not the kissing vs. not kissing, it's about the relationship.