Opinions about Kissing?

While we are new to this I am quite perplexed at this kissing issue. How will anyone let another man stick his dick in her vagina but will not kiss him or french kiss him? If open-mouthed kissing is too intimate what is letting him penetrate you. Isn't that even more intimate? While I accept boundaries (we have ours)irrational boundaries or boundaries not supported on firm reason other than simple and mutual agreement may be boundaries but they seem weak at best.

Before getting involved in the lifestyle, I use to think that too, "penetration = intimacy". My views has changed since then...Now I feel that whatever feels "intimate" to YOU is intimate.

At times, I feel a tiny tint of jealousy when another female is giving my hubby a blowjob, rather than the two of them having intercourse! It doesn't bother me as much now, I'm getting much more comfortable with it...

On the other hand, I get an erotic turn on watching hubby's cock slide in & out of another pussy! Go figure...*lol*

I know....It sounds crazy, but hey....That's how "I feel".


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 01-22-2001).]

[JustAskJulie]

actually the "no kissing" rule isn't just something that some swingers have come up with... remember the movie "Pretty Woman" with Julia Roberts? Her character, the hooker, has a no-kissing policy. And that is actually a normal rule for hookers because kissing actually gets them involved in the situation and makes it hard for them to keep seperated from their "job".

Maybe those swingers who have the "no kissing" policy are worried about getting too involved with the person they are playing with. Maybe one half of the couple is worried that their partner will kiss this other person more deeply than they kiss them. A blowjob is a blowjob.. but a kiss is not always just a kiss.. there are many different kinds of kisses that denote different things to different people.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

Interestingly enough we've found that most of the limits we've encountered have been far more emotional than physical. Our initial "looking for another couple stage" was an interesting exercise in seeing what other couples felt was a good relationship (and we got to meet some really nice folks), but when we met the couple we're now with things just "clicked". That's not to say each one of us hasn't had episodes of insecurity (or will continue to from time to time...after all this is life), but we all keep the communications channels and our hearts open to each other.

The bottom line is that for us, most of our initial rules seem to have lapsed into unimportance at this point. And the payoff is that a year later things are still getting hotter and hotter, both as couples and all together. So I guess I'd have to say, don't set rules and then forget to question them once in a while...you may find that something you once thought important might be much less of a concern.

Also, lets not forget that many of us set our initial rules at the start of swinging for our protection of our relationships because we didn't know what we'd encounter. Once we became comfortable with what we were doing we found that in most cases it's much more fun to find reasons to do stuff than to defend reasons not to...just our opinion!

We find ourselves "re-evaluating" our "rules" from time to time as grow into the relationships with our couple-friends. If it works, keep doing it, and invent more ways to enjoy erotic ecstasies! And whatever doesn't work, don't do it again, unless a little "tweakin'" here or there may be needed...

For example....At the beginning, hubby & I agreed that we'd only swing "open", NOT "closed or separate". Until last night, when we had our first "separate-room" swing at our friend's place (which we ended up having a sleep over). But we all know that there's an exception to every rule (most *lol*)....Well, this was ONE of them rules at the time.

So we tried "separate-room" with them, it was fun (while it lasted), but we still felt like we were missing that special "something"..........Each Other.

We prefer "open/same room" swinging. Not that we may not do separate again, but we're flexible!

And btw, keeping to the topic here....There was a WHOLELOTTA kissing going on!!!


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[Stratecpl]

Well, the "whole lotta kissing" thing is what we like, too. It seems infantile to us that some couples have their "no kissing on the mouth" policy. They really don't know what they are missing. Very sexy, highly erotic. Anyhow, that's just our two cents worth....

Ron

We just naturally stayed in the same room when we began sharing with our friends and we have mainly continued to do that. There have been times though when we have found ourselves in different parts of the house though and nobody has had a problem with it. Eric and I were in the bedroom one day and we got curious because nobody had followed us. We found our mates happily going at it in the kitchen of all places. Thank God the the blender was out of reach. Somebody might have gotten carried away. We spend as much time laughing as we do moaning and that makes all of the difference to us.

Yes, the proscription on kissing seems a bit overprotective to us. We met one couple for drinks and dinner one time who had that rule (they were soft swingers too which left them with little to do beyond oral...and manual...hmmmmmm). It seemed a little odd and so we probably tend to associate that with it. Needless to say we didn't make a lust connection on that one.

As far as the same room different room thing goes, with the couple we're with, it doesn't really matter. We usually do both over the course of an evening anyway, in no particular order. Gives us a lot of range.

Not to mention using every avaiable horizontal surface in the house!

[twobookwyrms]

I can understand the rule from a starting out perspective. My hubby and I had this rule going into our first experience becuase i honestly didn' know how I would feel about seeing him kiss another woman.

To me a kiss can be MUCH more intimate than sex. Once we were actually involved I relaxed and it is no longer a big deal... but we initially set the rule as a way to make sure things didn't go to fast for anyones comfort. I mean for myself at least I know I can get carried away in the heat of the moment when kissing. A really good kiss can block out the rest of the universe it was a distance thing.... till we were both sure that we were strong enough to try this sort of experience.

Steph