Do you kiss and how passionately?

[twobears]

well here is old newbie again, I had this rule when we first started it was the only way I could go into a solf-swing situation, I have grown a lot and know that love and sex are differnet, yes the old lifestyle ways are going out for the new lifestyle we are begining. I have a great man, he knows how I think and do not push the issue with me but I knew how he felt, we talked and talked and talked somemore .I love this lifestyle, every couple should before they are married go through some of our question and answer list, boy what a different world we would have, not too much divorce that way. The funny thing is that I was the one that broke our guideline on no open mouth kissing, we could kiss but not open mouth, it was a funny, so now the rule is out the window where it belongs. lol My hubbie was giving oral to playmate and without thinking about it we just reached for each other and started to kiss. I told hubby later and he just smiled and said so what but thanks for telling me, that you broke one of our guidelines. He told me later that it just made him love me more and created more trust between us, isn't this lifestyle great!!!!! Bear and Bootsie

[jennandjamesinm]

Twobears - Thanks for the response - That helped some. But I know that there are no kissing at all folks out there....we are friends with such a couple (dont play with them though), and still can't uinderstand how you get things started with out kissing........That is the one thing that gets me started......ok - gotta go and jump james now LOL

Jenn

[intuition897]

Thanks for the polls jennaandjames! Like you said, might be for nothing. But there they are in one spot anyhow.

[clit pro poet]

Yes, J&J, thanks for the compilation.
Ok, we live in a sea of microbes. Heck, if it were not for the little critters we'd have not so pleasant symptoms following meals, and fallen tree trunks waiting for decomposition would soon cover the land. Yes, some microbes are certainly worth containing and avoiding - and we're all fairly accomplished at doing so.

But... None of this (excepting possibly a few farmhand jokes) helps in the least with the matter (Alura - thanks!) of how to start out without a kiss. Maybe if you walk in on something already going on - or is somebody else gets an itchy (whoops) finger and starts something... Chances are, though, that that something will lead to kissing. We've all heard that, more or less, since the sixth grade. Truer as you get older, it looks like.

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by intuition897

...Uh, yeah! Sex is messy! That's part of the fun of it. If you want to check stats, I'm sure there are links to them around here somewhere. But I've heard that the CDC has declared swingers to be a low risk group. Of course there's a risk, but you take risks every single day. A simple trip to the grocery store and wham! you've got little-kid-germs all over your hands from the shopping cart. Used an ATM lately? And don't even start me on public washrooms. The fact is, germs are everywhere. And as far as oral herpes goes, 50% of the population has the virus. One kid can pass it to another kid (yes, kids get them) by hugging or kissing each other. Or by sharing toys. Or sleeping on the same nap-time pillow. And unsuspecting parent kisses the kid hello at home time... Did you know that babies are born with sterile mouths? They inherit lactobacilli, streptococci mutans and spirochetes (cavity causing bacteria) from other humans. If it were possible to avoid contamination, people would never get cavities. However, the world is a messy place.

Inherently greasy and creepy?? I wonder if you're really here for friendly conversation or if you're trolling?

EDIT>> I'd also like to add that while we do take a risk by exposing ourselves to other people sexually, we DO, as a group, attempt to avoid taking stupid risks. Yes, we are aware of the risk of contagious disease, yes we use condoms, and yes, we're pretty picky about our partners. It doesn't eliminate risk, but it helps.

I've been saying for quite some time now that I have felt swingers to be the MOST sexually responsible group of people around...as long as they're active. (This doesn't count regarding Priests & Nuns--Right?) We play it safe when we first meet someone...but I think that's changing a bit.

News Flash!!! Germs are everywhere! The Russians are coming!!! The other day Fem D wouldn't let me lay a package of chicken in the basket without first protecting it with another layer of "clean" plastic.

I Just Don't Know How We Survive!!!

Male D

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by intuition897

...They inherit...spirochetes (cavity causing bacteria) from other humans. If it were possible to avoid contamination, people would never get cavities...

How is is POSSIBLE that we still have all our own teeth?

M.D.

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by DBL D

How is is POSSIBLE that we still have all our own teeth?

M.D.

It's a wonder, isn't it?
I'm right full of useless trivia like that. Former dental assistant, full-time brainiac. :rollseyes

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by intuition897

...Former dental assistant, full-time brainiac. :rollseyes

You Are That!

You remind me of a dental hygenist I used to know. Always looked forward to her "deep cleaning"...

M.D.

[dreamer]

Originally Posted by jennandjamesinm

Here you go intuition:

STD Polls -

Poll: Would You Knowingly Play With A Couple With Herpes
http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...light=std+poll
Is there anything in the lifestyle that worries or scares you?
Have you ever contracted an STD from a swing partner?
If you have HPV would you tell your potential partners?
Poll: Are You Willing to go Bareback?

And just for shits and giggles - I searched with the words herpes, condoms and STD's...so TROLL here is some more for you to read......like you'll even bother....

Why Condoms for sex and not for oral?
What are your rules?
Do you swing Bareback?
Safe Sex & Herpes
Herpes...

Jenn

Actually I did bother, and I've been on those threads in the past, plus the wife is a primary care provider. We are very well informed unfortunately. That's one reason I'm so paranoid. Yet with all the excellent info on this site (especially from the many links you provided), people conclude it's worth the risk. I'm not sure how it's possible to come to that conclusion, but some do. Maybe one day we'll be able to throw caution to the wind and reason out the window.......some day.

I guess some assume I'm some christian morality troll here to give you a bad time. That's amusing............if you only knew. If I could find away to think myself into a bed filled with strangers, believe me I'd do it. I'm not sure how to defeat the left side of my brain that is saying this is not a wise thing to do.
Anyway, like I said: Enjoy and peace

[ALilOEverything]

Dreamer, I think most people on this board are really well informed, that's why many are here in the first place. They want to know what they are getting into before they do it. Being a health care provider myself and working in an acute hospital setting I know all too well about people and risk. I think not kissing because of health risk can be a reasonable and if someone isn't comfortable with that they shouldn't do it. There are as many reasons why people chose not to kiss as they are many reasons why people chose to do so. If that's your decision to live a life of low risk, that's okay. But for those of us who have thought about it and decided that it's a risk we're willing to take, that should be okay too. Everyone has a risk of choice, winter driving, riding on ATV's, jumping on trampolines, contact sports and the many other risky things I treat people for every day.

Kissing is a risk I chose, I do minimize it as best I can but I know it's always possible. I'm okay with that. I would never try to convince someone to do so if they didn't feel comfortable with it, nor would I judge them for that... but would expect the same in return.

[dreamer]

Originally Posted by ALilOEverything

Dreamer, I think most people on this board are really well informed, that's why many are here in the first place. They want to know what they are getting into before they do it. Being a health care provider myself and working in an acute hospital setting I know all too well about people and risk. I think not kissing because of health risk can be a reasonable and if someone isn't comfortable with that they shouldn't do it. There are as many reasons why people chose not to kiss as they are many reasons why people chose to do so. If that's your decision to live a life of low risk, that's okay. But for those of us who have thought about it and decided that it's a risk we're willing to take, that should be okay too. Everyone has a risk of choice, winter driving, riding on ATV's, jumping on trampolines, contact sports and the many other risky things I treat people for every day.

Kissing is a risk I chose, I do minimize it as best I can but I know it's always possible. I'm okay with that. I would never try to convince someone to do so if they didn't feel comfortable with it, nor would I judge them for that... but would expect the same in return.

We all have to make choices that we can live with. Ironically, I'm not even concerned about AIDS, it's that pesky Herpes crap in the genital and mouth region that can be contracted even though there are no sores present. You can say your prepared to risk it, but if you contract it you'll need to disclose it to your playmates before hand, and few will swing with you knowing your infected. Face it, it takes the love out of the air big time. So you'll swing until you know your infected, and then the good times are basically over, or you could be infected unknowingly and be spreading it to your partners assuring them all the while you've met their ad requirements of being clean and disease free. Few and I mean few can say they know they are disease free, and most of these people don't have a clue as to what safe sex is. They think because they use a condom during intercourse they're practicing safe sex. Using a condom isn't safe sex, it's just a little safer sex.

The precautions and do's and dont's of 99% safe sex from Herpes almost effectively eliminates any fun that might be had.

[CB_n_Red]

Originally Posted by dreamer

The precautions and do's and dont's of 99% safe sex from Herpes almost effectively eliminates any fun that might be had.

Exactly! Presumably that means that you refrain from doing anything that might be risky. If that's the case, might I ask why you are here? Is it just to lecture us all?

I'm pretty sure most of us who are actively involved in the lifestyle have long since done our own risk assessment and conduct ourselves accordingly. We don't need the finger wagging.

CB

[HotMoCpl]

The wife and I are pretty passionate kissers....and she'll just about have an orgasm when I suck on her tounge.....memories of reading Deep Throat. We're still "vanilla", but I personally believe that the kissing should go with sex. She differs a little, but she would probably not kiss.

[dreamer]

Originally Posted by CB_n_Red

Exactly! Presumably that means that you refrain from doing anything that might be risky. If that's the case, might I ask why you are here? Is it just to lecture us all?

I'm pretty sure most of us who are actively involved in the lifestyle have long since done our own risk assessment and conduct ourselves accordingly. We don't need the finger wagging.

CB

I'm interested in the topic. We are currently doing our risk assessment. That's where we are presenlty, that could change. There's still some things we aren't certain on.

As you've said you are actively involved in the lifestyle and have long since done your own risk assessment and are conducting yourselves accordingly. You've decided that being intimate with strangers is worth the risk of open sores on your mouth and genitals sporadically for the rest of your life with no known cure. I'm just wondering how you got there and came to that conclusion. I'm driven by lust as well, but can't quite make that leap.

If there were a vaccine for Herpes we would be there in a NY second.

No lecture here.

[jennandjamesinm]

Dreamer,

Now that I understand where you are coming from a little better, I can see your concern. And I apologize about assuming about what your agenda was, to me it came across as judgemental. I guess what it boils down to is knowing the risks, deciding if you can deal with the risk factor, and then making a decision that you can live with. I know about all of the risk factors involved, and I know what I'm getting into. I wish there was a vaccine for herpes, HIV and cancer, and there isn't. So I will be as vigilant as I can, practice safe sex and hope for the best. Sometimes to have fun, you have to take some risks....and swinging is fun so we take the risks. Good luck to you on your journey.

Peace.

Jenn