He's a bad kisser and it killed my attraction

[Candy&Cane]

Hello to all!

So.. a couple of months ago I wrote that we met this 'perfect' couple.. and we've been going further, well we've been hugging and kissing and fondling untill now..
Kissing was a big deal for me, was even thinking of putting it in the 'rule-list' as I thought I couldn't handle it.. but actually it happened that I told O to go ahead and kiss her as she's such a good kisser And it was a great sight to see!! facelick

Anyway.. I kissed her husband too.. I was quite attracted to him.. untill this kiss...
He was a tongue mixer... and it was a total turn-off for me...

We havent seen them since (they were on holiday) but are going to meet up again next weekend probably..

But now I'm hesitating... how much should one 'hang on' to a single kiss? Could attraction come back again further along the road, or is this an important point to say 'stop'?

I know this couple have an 'open-marriage' too.. I think I wouldn't mind if O. continues to see her (and I myself have a girlfriend too so It'll feel 'even' in some way), if they wouldn't mind... still.. I think I want to give it another chance (but now I'm scared I might force myself or something)..

Bad Kissers.... what are your experiences??

[JustAskJulie]

Kissing is a big deal to me. A bad kisser is a major turn off.

If you don't want to play with him, and your husband still wants to play with her AND they are cool with that then go for it.

Another option would be to put your "no kissing" rule back into affect and see if you can still be interested in him without that being an issue.

[Spoomonkey]

What's a tongue mixer?

Spoomonkey

[leftcoastcouple]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

What's a tongue mixer?

Thanks for asking, Spoo. I was afraid to sound naive by asking.

[wkyadventurers]

I shall estimate that it probably doesn't sound very macho of a man to relate that kissing is my favorite part of intimacy. I have long been blessed by women in my life that I enjoyed kissing. At the onset, the kiss is what I look forward to and linger upon. Even my adolescenet wet dreams were usually filled with my lust for lips. When relationships end, it is usually kissing that I miss the most.

I have been seeing my SO for over two years now. There are many reason why she and I have decided not to marry, atleast not right away. One of the biggest for me is her inability to kiss with any degree of passion. The fact that my cock doesn't stiffen by the carress of her lips or cause my breath to quicken tells me right away that friends on a bonus plan is all we will ever really be.

She opens her mouth and attaches to me like a baby bird trying to feed from my own mouth. Huge turn off!!

However, 98%of the time, she is perfect. Am I wrong for denying us both a long term commitment and life togetehr simply because she isn't th ebest kisser I have ever had?

I think not. Why settle? I want it the best of both worlds. Who knows, maybe if I bite the bullet and confess to her my issues with her kissing, she will somehow miraculously get better.

[DBL D]

I don't really like the "Frantic Tongue Syndrome" either. I like it languid and espressive and I like her to suck on it. I'll do it to.

Ladies? How do you like your kisses and/or is their a way swingers are supposed to kiss? "I gave him the best 'Swingers Kiss' last night!" LOL

Just wondered if this just comes down to the personal taste or if there is a certain way the ladies like it.

Male D

[BradAndJanet]

I remember this girl from high school that was like a Hoover. She'd grab ahold of your tongue and try to suck it out of your mouth. She actually hurt me once. Unfortunately, I never got to put that suction power to good use elsewhere... Remember the story about how I met J? She was the girl at the table that I didn't want to talk to...I think I was afraid she'd latch onto my mouth again....

2Gether, could you try skipping the kissing and get right to other things, or is it necessary foreplay?

-B

[LikeMinds321]

Mr LM said I was a horrid kisser when he first kissed me. He didn't tell me this until years after we were married. I don't doubt his word. I was like a fish. He had to teach me how to kiss. He feels it was worth it. He now tells me I am a fabulous kisser.

I love kissing. It is the most sensual, sexually stimulating act you can do to me. Your lips, on my lips, will get you anywhere else on my body.

I like kissing to be tender and soft to begin with. I like my lips pulled gently now and then. I like a tongue used without excess. I like little kisses. Then long kisses that move all over my mouth, with your tongue circling my lips softly. But I do not like slop. I like my face kissed.

I have licked someone's face with my tongue and the person loved it and so did I. When done right, that can be very nice.

I like having my neck kissed, especially the back of my neck. My first playmate did that to me and he was amazing, to this day I don't know quite how he did it. I was taken away by him.

A good kisser is sensitive to what the other person likes. I have never understood sloppy wet kissing, or a tongue down your throat, or sucking your tongue out of your mouth. That is bad kissing to me. And worst of all, is what I used to do; I held my mouth tense and moved it open and closed like a fish!

You have to be relaxed to kiss well.

If I came across a bad kisser I would pull away softly and we would find other fun things to do.

LM

[Candy&Cane]

Thanx dears

okey so the best choices are;
-letting the two of them (O and 'A'), and say 'goodbye' to the husband, and having my own fun seperatly...
-go on the way we were going, but with the kissing rule (thanx Julie)
-go on faster and simply skip kissing (for my part) (thanx Brad and Janet)

-note that I see a difference between the two last possibilities-

Problem with the two last options is; I'm not sure wether I find him attractive enough now to 'go on' to having sex (with or without the kissing; the kissing has been a turn-off alltogether; never known that this could happen so suddenly)... Maybe I'm jumping the gun here.. well actually thats a question from me to you; Am I?
I just dont feel any lust anymore towards him.... but remember I havent seen them for some weeks now...

Oh god... it would really be a shame though.. cause the rest 'clicks' so well.. (and yes I know; I'm not going to let myself get into the situation were I feel guilty and play along; that'll only make things worse)
One thing I'm sure of; if I go out of this 'relationship' I'm not going to put any pressure on my boyfriend (O) whatsoever.. I trust her, I trust him, and the feeling I have when they're together is all good..

PS; tongue mixer; I mean his tongue was stiff and franticly went round and round far to fast (which is weird; she is a very good kisser to my taste.. how do the two of them do it? maybe I should pay more attention to that next time )
Secondly @wkyadventurers; your name sounds as though you guys are a couple here on this forum, so I assume she knows about these thoughts?
From experience I know that you could (and should) teach eichother your ways and preferences.. not by saying; "oh God you're crap" but gently, letting eichother know physically and verbally ("oh yes I like that do that again but gentler" etc). My boyfriend and I certainly took the time and always pay attention to eichothers moans and groans forinstance, to hear what feels good and what not. And with kissing there are ways too (ask to relax, and let her be 'led' by your tongue) -I'm going to try this I think, in my situation, but not going as far as I would in a 'serious' relationship....
If I were you I'd post a topic about your problems, as this is a different kind of situation..

Thanx to all for now!!
J. (f part )

LM I didn't see your post It's asif I've written it myself... We didn't start off very well either at first, but after some months it only got better and better!!! Hmmm kissing my neck (area below the ear) is a VERY erogenous zone for me! facelick

[mrs good times]

My first experience since being married was with one of our friends. I've known him for many years and always found him attractive. The problem was he kissed like a lizard. He pushes me up against a wall and pins my hands (I'm getting into this) then he kisses me. It was awful and I couldn't get away so I bit him. He pulled back and looked at me funny so I told him he has got to slow down this is not a race it's supposed to sensual. He tried but never really got it, unfortunately.

To clarify, lizard style is kinda like fish style while darting your tongue between your lips.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I was like a fish. He had to teach me how to kiss.

That's funny - most of the fish I've known kiss just fine...

Maybe Mr. LM has been out teaching schools at a time

I think there is different kind of kissing with my wife or with a playmate. I am not overly aggressive with a playmate as I can - in a lustful moment - be with Mrs Spoo. I am glad to know - according to definition - that I am not a "tongue mixer"!

Spoomonkey

[biblonde]

Kissing is real important to both of us. My hubby is a great kisser! He can bring me to my knees when he gives me the long, slow, deep kisses..mmmmmm and I dont mean deep as in seeing if i still have my tonsils..lol.. I like kisses that are sensual and not sloppy!! I also love it when they kiss down my neck... If a guy was a bad kisser that would be such a turn off!! since I like to kiss throughout sex. I have meet one that was horrible at it..i felt like I was with a puppy! So I make sure when we have playdates (yup we still see them since he does everything else good!) I make sure there isnt much kissing going on..I keep my mouth occupied other ways! lol It is all a matter if you want to continue and find other ways to be entertained than kissing.

just my 2 cents

[biblonde]

That's funny - most of the fish I've known kiss just fine...

OHHH Spoo...leave it to a monkey to kiss a fish!!

[DBL D]

It's not that much of a stretch...since he already drinks like a fish!

Sorry Spoo, I couldn't resist. I learned how too.

Male D

[two4youinswva]

I don't know if a bad kisser would be a deal breaker for the lady, but she does "believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days". We play with one couple that gets top billing because both of them are really good kissers. Actually, bad kissing probably would be a deal breaker for her, as she was turned on by one guy at our club during the halloween social, until he kissed her on the dance floor. She says kissing is an art, and I guess he was still "painting by numbers".