Couple Jealous of other couples we play with

meowkittyhascla · 03-12-2004, 10:20 PM

Hey ya'll.

We have a little problem with the first couple we ever swung with. They are very jealous that we have moved on to other couples. We have explained to them that we enjoy them very much however, the mileage is just to far for an every weekend meet, which they wanted. We really do like them, but we do want to experience other friendships also. How do deal with such people? Any and all advice is welcomed. Thanks to you all!

Vjklander · 03-12-2004, 10:30 PM

You have explained your position. If they can't or won't accept that then they have issues. Continue on your own path. Unless they are rich and have put you in their will, then maybeeee....
J

jcbicouple · 03-12-2004, 10:35 PM

Just be honest. Let them know that while you do enjoy your time together, you have an interest in exploring with others. We're always very clear with any potential playmates that we aren't looking for any commitments, long term relationships, day to day friends, etc. There have been several couples that have expressed that they are looking for friends or exclusivity, and told us that we didn't fit what they were looking for in another couple. We wished them well, and moved on. Everyone has to decide for themselves what they are looking for. If the other couple can't accept that you have interests other than them, they may not be the right couple for you.

Brit_Pair · 03-13-2004, 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Vjklander
You have explained your position. If they can't or won't accept that then they have issues. Continue on your own path.

Dito

Be honest, be straight forward. If they won't (or can't) accept your position, it's time for you to move on. Pebbles on the beach, and all that...

bear_n_bunny · 03-13-2004, 08:51 AM

This was the topic of this week's chat. I think the consensus was to move on. Jealous is just too dangerous to have a place in the lifestyle. During the chat, some people, myself included, wondered if couples who became jealous might have something missing in thier own relationship and were looking for another couple to fill it. Personally, I don't want another couples fears, problems, insecurities, leaking into my relationship with Bear.

-- Bunny

fun_pairTX · 03-13-2004, 09:59 AM

Hit the road before they get really obsessive. Don't let their problems enter your relationship with each other. You have been honest, if they can't accept that, it is not your problem.

meowkittyhascla · 03-14-2004, 04:14 PM

Hubby and I have decided to kick this couple to the curve. We don't need the jealousy issues or the manipulation drama. What is so sad, is that this couple has messed up their chances to meet others and explore and expand their pleasures. Of course, we are sad to loose friends, however this is a big world with alot of people. We don't wish them any ill will just joy and happiness.
We also just wanted to thank all for their kind advice and give you all a big

Thanks Again!!!!!

partyof2 · 03-26-2004, 10:42 AM

We played with a couple where I think the other woman was like that. They wanted to get together every weekend, and we can't always get out when we want to, and we had some great couples that we'd been wanting to meet. They would always ask us who we were talking to or planning on meeting, and the other woman would ask if the woman was prettier than her, etc. That combined with some other things (like her not wanting my hubby to watch me and her hubby go at it while they were going at it, lol)

made us not want to see them anymore.

couplegone2wild · 03-26-2004, 11:36 AM

I understand that your situation has been resloved, but i wanted to add my own situation and let you know how it turned out.

We had a swinging experience with a couple we knew for sometime. The female started acting as you described. She wanted to know if we were going to swing again with them (it has happened only once). Schedules and lives just havent matched up so far.
I went to her and I had mentioned some lesser things she has done to make me feel uncomfortable (comments to me about my weight,(imagine, Twiggy). She was very aplogetic and in all has backed off and now we are back to were we want to be.
Some couples wont be like this I understand, but I wanted to share a time where talking, saved a friendship as well as swinging partners.

J

LikeMinds321 · 03-26-2004, 11:53 AM

A number of people on this post have mentioned getting together with one particular couple as often as every week, as if it is expected (or highly desired) by some couples.

I know this would be way too often for us. We haven't swung yet, so we're wondering how often couples typically expect to spend time with a couple they like.

Should we let people know, after meeting them the first time to get to know each other, how often (or infrequently as the case may be) that we anticipate playing?

I think that our interest in sexual activity with others may not be as strong as some of the people on the board.

How important is it to clarify our "hunger for swinging" to people we meet--or even before meeting--through our first e-mails?

Thank you for any insight you can provide.

Mrs. LM

jcbicouple · 03-26-2004, 12:14 PM

"A number of people on this post have mentioned getting together with one particular couple as often as every week, as if it is expected (or highly desired) by some couples.

I know this would be way too often for us. We haven't swung yet, so we're wondering how often couples typically expect to spend time with a couple they like.

Should we let people know, after meeting them the first time to get to know each other, how often (or infrequently as the case may be) that we anticipate playing?

I think that our interest in sexual activity with others may not be as strong as some of the people on the board.

How important is it to clarify our "hunger for swinging" to people we meet--or even before meeting--through our first e-mails?

Thank you for any insight you can provide.

Mrs. LM"

Everyone has their own opinions, and you'll probably get several responses as to how people handle this. We try to be very upfront with anyone we talk to, especially if their profile or add says they are looking for friendships, or relationships. We simply explain that we want them to know that we aren't looking for friends to hang out with. We are open to meeting more than once, and we are open to going out for the night before we play, but we really aren't looking for friends. We also let them know that we keep our personal lives seperate from our playtime so there are no hurt feelings, or expectations.

MrsBliss · 03-26-2004, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LikeMinds321
I think that our interest in sexual activity with others may not be as strong as some of the people on the board.

I have the same feeling

but maybe that is just because we did not try it yet.

I really cannot imagine meeting people every week. My schedule is already so full and I really wouldn't have the time.

To me it's seems very exciting to go to a club are maybe hook up with another couple once a month or so.

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03-12-2004, 10:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
meowkittyhascla Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 128 Location: MO Status: Couple	Couple Jealous of other couples we play with Hey ya'll. We have a little problem with the first couple we ever swung with. They are very jealous that we have moved on to other couples. We have explained to them that we enjoy them very much however, the mileage is just to far for an every weekend meet, which they wanted. We really do like them, but we do want to experience other friendships also. How do deal with such people? Any and all advice is welcomed. Thanks to you all!

03-12-2004, 10:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
jcbicouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 680 Location: Indiana Status: Happily Married Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:jcbicouple	Just be honest. Let them know that while you do enjoy your time together, you have an interest in exploring with others. We're always very clear with any potential playmates that we aren't looking for any commitments, long term relationships, day to day friends, etc. There have been several couples that have expressed that they are looking for friends or exclusivity, and told us that we didn't fit what they were looking for in another couple. We wished them well, and moved on. Everyone has to decide for themselves what they are looking for. If the other couple can't accept that you have interests other than them, they may not be the right couple for you.
	__________________ People live in cities, but people are alive in the woods.

03-13-2004, 09:59 AM	#6 (permalink)
fun_pairTX Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,185 Location: Ennis, Texas Status: Couple	WOW Hit the road before they get really obsessive. Don't let their problems enter your relationship with each other. You have been honest, if they can't accept that, it is not your problem.
	__________________ fun_pairTX

03-14-2004, 04:14 PM	#7 (permalink)
meowkittyhascla Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 128 Location: MO Status: Couple	thanks to all for the advice Hubby and I have decided to kick this couple to the curve. We don't need the jealousy issues or the manipulation drama. What is so sad, is that this couple has messed up their chances to meet others and explore and expand their pleasures. Of course, we are sad to loose friends, however this is a big world with alot of people. We don't wish them any ill will just joy and happiness. We also just wanted to thank all for their kind advice and give you all a big Thanks Again!!!!!
	__________________ Love is merely a madness...cured by chocolate!!!

03-12-2004, 10:30 PM	#2 (permalink)
Vjklander Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 834 Location: VA Status: Couple, Straight M, BiFem Swing Lifestyle Name:Vjklander	You have explained your position. If they can't or won't accept that then they have issues. Continue on your own path. Unless they are rich and have put you in their will, then maybeeee.... J

03-13-2004, 08:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
bear_n_bunny Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 465 Location: Houston, Texas Status: Happily Married Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:bear_n_bunny	This was the topic of this week's chat. I think the consensus was to move on. Jealous is just too dangerous to have a place in the lifestyle. During the chat, some people, myself included, wondered if couples who became jealous might have something missing in thier own relationship and were looking for another couple to fill it. Personally, I don't want another couples fears, problems, insecurities, leaking into my relationship with Bear. -- Bunny

03-26-2004, 10:42 AM	#8 (permalink)
partyof2 Registered Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 7 Location: TX Status: couple	We played with a couple where I think the other woman was like that. They wanted to get together every weekend, and we can't always get out when we want to, and we had some great couples that we'd been wanting to meet. They would always ask us who we were talking to or planning on meeting, and the other woman would ask if the woman was prettier than her, etc. That combined with some other things (like her not wanting my hubby to watch me and her hubby go at it while they were going at it, lol) made us not want to see them anymore.

03-26-2004, 11:36 AM	#9 (permalink)
couplegone2wild Active Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 19 Location: St. Louis Status: Couple	my two cents I understand that your situation has been resloved, but i wanted to add my own situation and let you know how it turned out. We had a swinging experience with a couple we knew for sometime. The female started acting as you described. She wanted to know if we were going to swing again with them (it has happened only once). Schedules and lives just havent matched up so far. I went to her and I had mentioned some lesser things she has done to make me feel uncomfortable (comments to me about my weight,(imagine, Twiggy). She was very aplogetic and in all has backed off and now we are back to were we want to be. Some couples wont be like this I understand, but I wanted to share a time where talking, saved a friendship as well as swinging partners. J

03-26-2004, 11:53 AM	#10 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 I'll think about it Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 10,099 Location: With Wild Things Status: Married Female	How often? A number of people on this post have mentioned getting together with one particular couple as often as every week, as if it is expected (or highly desired) by some couples. I know this would be way too often for us. We haven't swung yet, so we're wondering how often couples typically expect to spend time with a couple they like. Should we let people know, after meeting them the first time to get to know each other, how often (or infrequently as the case may be) that we anticipate playing? I think that our interest in sexual activity with others may not be as strong as some of the people on the board. How important is it to clarify our "hunger for swinging" to people we meet--or even before meeting--through our first e-mails? Thank you for any insight you can provide. Mrs. LM

03-26-2004, 12:14 PM	#11 (permalink)
jcbicouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 680 Location: Indiana Status: Happily Married Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:jcbicouple	"A number of people on this post have mentioned getting together with one particular couple as often as every week, as if it is expected (or highly desired) by some couples. I know this would be way too often for us. We haven't swung yet, so we're wondering how often couples typically expect to spend time with a couple they like. Should we let people know, after meeting them the first time to get to know each other, how often (or infrequently as the case may be) that we anticipate playing? I think that our interest in sexual activity with others may not be as strong as some of the people on the board. How important is it to clarify our "hunger for swinging" to people we meet--or even before meeting--through our first e-mails? Thank you for any insight you can provide. Mrs. LM" Everyone has their own opinions, and you'll probably get several responses as to how people handle this. We try to be very upfront with anyone we talk to, especially if their profile or add says they are looking for friendships, or relationships. We simply explain that we want them to know that we aren't looking for friends to hang out with. We are open to meeting more than once, and we are open to going out for the night before we play, but we really aren't looking for friends. We also let them know that we keep our personal lives seperate from our playtime so there are no hurt feelings, or expectations.
	__________________ People live in cities, but people are alive in the woods.

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