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  1. #1
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    Default Hubby kindof jealous....did I do something wrong?

    My husband asked me to give a friend of ours a blowjob and I agreed. I told him before we did anything that I didn't want to if there were going to be any problems because the guy is around quite a bit and I enjoy just hanging out. He never had any problems with me sitting around talking with him before and he knew that he was going to be doing some construction at my work.

    He said there weren't going to be any problems and so I gave him a blowjob. It was nothing spectacular - the guy is average. Still ok, not dissing him in any way, just - you know he was ok. Anyway, the next time we saw him socially hubby got kindof standoffish - not rude or anything...just not as friendly as usual. I think the friend picked up on it and he has been kind of stand offish as well to me (not to hubby). I haven't called him for anything other than work, haven't been flirting with him, talking to him more than I used to. Well then my husband accused me of sneaking off to give him another blowjob. I may have been alone with the guy for 15 minutes total! I told my husband any time the friend and I talked on the phone or texted and what was said (it was about work always). Husband has been sitting right there or nearby when I have talked to the guy in person and there have been no chats on the computer or anything. Neither the friend nor I have said anything to each other about the first blowjob or any future one.

    Did I do something wrong? Is there something I can do to help my husband understand that I will not do anything he is not there to see, nor will I initiate contact for that purpose? Any advice would be appreciated.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Hubby kindof jealous....did I do something wrong?

    In our view, you did nothing wrong. Sometimes that fantasy of swinging and the reality are two different things. Unfortunately, that is not something you can always figure out until after. One thing you should ask yourself is whether your husband has shown this kind of behavior before in more vanilla situations.

    One mantra you will see on this board again and again is the importances of communication. Talk to your husband during a time when you can really be open or honest. Don't have to say "you asked me to do it.". Just try to figure out why he is being standoffish and begin to figure out if this lifestyle is right for you.

    Good luck!
    Find us on SLS, Kasidie, Love Vodoo & Super Secret Swinger. We're also SwingerCast Podcast Fans!

  3. #3
    Laura's Male VegasLee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hubby kindof jealous....did I do something wrong?

    We tell people all the time, be careful what you wish for because it may not have the outcome you expect.

    I think this is one of those cases for your husband.

    He asked, you did it and now he does not know how to deal with it.

    Time to sit down with him and talk this out honestly and let it come to an end.

    Does not appear swinging is the right thing for you two as it is not for most.

    Good luck to you.
    You all laugh at me because I am different. I laugh at all of you because you are all the same.

  4. #4
    Swingers Board Addict DigginIt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hubby kindof jealous....did I do something wrong?

    Yep, agree with all of the above.

    You mentioned in another post about some threesomes so was this before all of those or pretty recent?

    My gut is that some people can handle swinging but can't handle "out of sight" swinging meaning when they don't know what happened they make up the worst.

    You did nothing wrong and if he had no problems previously with any other men during the encounters then this may be something you will have to work through and when it's over chalk it up as a learning experience.

    Good luck.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Hubby kindof jealous....did I do something wrong?

    Sometimes it's easy to write off sex with people you don't know well. To not worry about whether anything happens afterwards etc. When it's someone you know well it can be very hard to not let it creep into your brain.

    Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, but that doesn't negate the fact that this bothers him. He may not be handling it in a healthy way of course

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Hubby kindof jealous....did I do something wrong?

    Thanks for the feedback. I didn't mention that we have swung numerous times before with no problems - couples & MFM. I have given blowjobs to other friends of ours also with no problems. That's why I was wondering what happened this time. I have tried talking to him about this but he says there is nothing wrong and that he has no worries. I guess I'm confused about what is different this time and why he denies having an issue when he obviously does. It made me wonder if maybe I was overzealous with the whole "he's gonna be here working today just wanted to let you know" and "talked (or texted) him today just wanted to let you know" thing.

  7. #7
    Not a potential *** Chicup's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hubby kindof jealous....did I do something wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by VegasLee View Post
    Does not appear swinging is the right thing for you two as it is not for most.
    Glad I didn't ask for advice here the first time we swung because you would have told me the same thing

    Just because the first time doesn't go perfectly and there are some negative feelings involved doesn't automatically mean swinging isn't for them.

    Our first time swinging was awesome.
    Our second time swinging was awful.

    I did everything wrong, and was very jealous for a week or two after.

    Its hard to break societal and genetic programming. Swinging MIGHT not be for them, but just because the guy is having blowers remorse after doesn't mean its something they should never try again.

    This btw is why I always recommend starting with a couple. What tempered my jealousy was sure he did my wife but I did his, we were 'even', so while my feelings were based on the green eyed monster, logically I couldn't really complain, I had no grievance. BEATING that jealousy was the best part about swinging and what made our relationship stronger than it was. Knowing your common thread is NOT sex is a wonderful thing.
    Last edited by Chicup; 10-27-2011 at 10:23 AM.

  8. #8
    Just a hick Okie Alura's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hubby kindof jealous....did I do something wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicup View Post

    This btw is why I always recommend starting with a couple. What tempered my jealousy was sure he did my wife but I did his, we were 'even', so while my feelings were based on the green eyed monster, logically I couldn't really complain, I had no grievance. BEATING that jealousy was the best part about swinging and what made our relationship stronger than it was. Knowing your common thread is NOT sex is a wonderful thing.
    Great post, Chicup! Couple to couple creates a "level playing field" is what I always say.

    Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
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  9. #9
    Swingers Board Addict Gordo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hubby kindof jealous....did I do something wrong?

    If you've engaged in swinging before without problems then he's probably sensing something a little more between the two of you. Do you have an emotional attachment to this guy? Even a slight one?

  10. #10
    Swingers Board Addict prometheius's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hubby kindof jealous....did I do something wrong?

    Blowers remorse, I love it!
    Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Hubby kindof jealous....did I do something wrong?

    Maybe your husband pre-arranged for you to make a 'payment' for the work done without telling you and it backfired on him and is putting his guilt on you!!
    Last edited by john67a; 10-30-2011 at 07:51 AM. Reason: spelling

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