MFM jealousy issues

We have been dabbling in the lifestyle for a while now. I (make half) wanted to try the MFM fantasy and we have been hooked ever since. We have yet to swap with a couple yet as the mfm’s are great for me and the Mrs. is unsure about how she would feel about seeing me with another female. Not an issue for me though.
We have had maybe 8 experiences over the last 2 years or so. We tell our third upfront we are soft players and not to expect intercourse although it has happened on one occasion and we were real comfortable with the guy. That was great.
So here is my issue- On 2 occasions thus far I have had some jealousy issues - but only when the guy was better looking and better equipped then myself. Especially the last time as the guy was at least 10’ compared to my 7 and extremely good-looking. I did not feel comfortable and did not perform well either. It did not cause any problems for us as a couple because it’s not that big of a deal, but I do want to overcome this.
Anyone else share some of these issues? Or would this be what being “comfortable” with the 3rd means?

[Mike and Jan]

Was it possibly that the 'third' wasn't being sensitive to your feelings? If so then the solution would be to not repeat with that particular 'M' and to go on to other 'M's that are more sensitive to both of you.

I would think that you'd want your wife to enjoy a 'M' in your 'MFM' that was appealing, but I do understand that you don't want to feel intimidated either. I was the visiting 'M' with a nice couple for several years and always tried to make the main 'M' as comfortable as the 'F'. In fact, he and I became very good friends and would get together often as just guys and talk about how to make her next experience more enjoyable. I also remember him commenting about me being good looking and better than him in performance but I always reminded him that I was simply their sex toy. I always tried to leave them making love with each other after each session.

[Mari and Mike]

...or it may be that you're really not into the mfm style, plain and simple. Out of curiosity, were you or the F "pushing" the mfm.
Mari

[fun4Ds]

well i can kinda see where you are coming from . we dont play with singles. but we have been with couples where the male half was certanly better equiped and better looking than i. i guess that wasnt an issue for me because i had the comfort of knowing that my relationship was not threatend. when we choose a cpl i certanly want the mrs to be happy with our choice . not just a smaller less attractive male to keep my ego in check. you stated that you dont play with couples because your wife is unshure about her feelings of seeing you with another female. is there a possibility of taking a step back and dealing with that issue? i wouldnt want to cut out single males ,that was my first choice. the mrs choice was no singles so im ok with that. like mikeand jan stated maby try someone diffrent i would have chosen someone like mike. or try some couples ya knever know.

[intravox]

Cheer up my brother!!!

As the "M" invited in multiple ocasions, I have been in the place of being better endowed or good looking, ( or both ) and also I have been with couples where the guy looked like taken from a porno movie.

In every case I felt comfortable and always tried to make my invited/guests to feel comfortable...

So cheer up, there is always someone bigger than you, but hey there are things more important than that.

Salo

[janaandjames]

So cheer up, there is always someone bigger than you, but hey there are things more important than that.

[janaandjames]

So cheer up, there is always someone bigger than you, but hey there are things more important than that.

>>>>>>>>>>>.

sorry about that, lets try this again.
Im a little familiar with some jealousy issues,
not really jealous, but ... not comfortable i guess.
we had this regular for a MFM for awhile, he was a great guy, real nice, real caring about both of us ... had a large "tool" and could keep going a long time.
i guess it was obvious i was having an excellent time.

hubby felt kinda bad cause it was obvious i was loving a tool bigger and longer lasting than his ...
i managed to convince him that even though the sex was great, only one person has my heart ..
that seemed to do the trick

jana

[kittylikesmfm]

i think jelousy over watching your mate with someone more attractive is the oldest issue in the book. i mean i have no problem watching my husband make the cute little waitress or 45 y.o. bartender feel better about themselves having a beautiful, polite man flirt with them.

but as soon as a feel like a woman is my equal or better...i get jelous...the older i get, the less it's an issue, but i certainly still feel it in my craw when i'm intimidated by a woman while my mate is around. that said though, the same woman has my respect when he's not around and in fact underlying the jelousy. i've found that jelousy has alot more to do with me than anyone or anything that's ahppening around me.

[WesternSwing]

Don't worry. I have been the smaller cock in the room, and I've been the bigger cock in the room. I've also been the one that was the Energizer Bunny and been the first to finish. In either case, someone is either smaller or not as long lasting, and sometimes it will be you. That is a fact of sex.

The important thing to remember is that your wife is in love with you. If sex between you and your wife is already great, sex with a bigger or longer lasting cock may be different, but it will never be better. She will never be as comfortable with a stranger as she is with with you. Also, she loves you, not him. There will always be a part of her that you get that she holds back from any other guy. At the end of the night, he still goes home alone. You go home and for weeks get the benefits of the hot time you had earlier.

I look at it this way. Mrs. WS was married and had several boyfriends before she met me. Some had bigger dicks, some had smaller. I'm sure some lasted longer then me, and some less. But that wasn't enough for her to stay with her ex-husband or marry any of the others. I obviously bring more to the table then any other guy.

Think of it as unconditional love. You're giving your wife a present, and for that she will always love you more and more and more.

Mr. WS

[kittycat11]

I'm with KittyLikesMFM... for now at least, as a newbie, I need to feel at least equal to the other woman in looks and "hot factor" and that is my issue alone, as my SO thinks I am always the most beautiful and hottest woman in the room! We go thru profiles and he knows that I "coincidently" weed out some of the hottest babes but he never says a word. I find myself picking out woman that are more like me (tall, athletic, small breasted) as opposed to my polar opposite (petite, cute, busty and doe eyed). I always wanted to be one of those woman growing up and well, Im still tall, slender, brunette, dark eyes and small breasted!! I can appreciate myself now, or so I thought until this swapping thing came about... old girl hood insecurities rise to the top!!
Call me silly, because we are always looking for women for me too but I need to feel up to par in my own pysche to get comfortable, at least for now.

[Mike and Jan]

Well Kittycat,

It might be interesting to you that my wife would find you the one to be uncomfortable with. She's always had those nice larger breasts and she knows that I'm attracted to the more athletic smaller ones. You'd be her nightmare.

To a certain degree 'swinging' is about variety. It's a lot about fantasy fulfillment to, but just exploring different things and people are really the appeal. I think it's natural for your S/O to be attracted to someone totally different from you.

We had friends years ago who we found out were swingers. The wife was just about the cutest little gal, and totally opposite from my wife, that I'd ever known. I was just about in heaven when they revealed their interest in us and their participation in swinging but my wife gave the 'signal' and we let it pass as if we didn't understand.

Later she said that the husband was just too much like me and it just wouldn't have been anything special for her. I had to agree that he and I were both 6' 2", 200ish, blond/blue, and even similar facial appearances and personality. Heck, we were both in sales as well.

Now, I had to wonder why the other wife was interested though. Maybe she was just going along because her husband wanted to get into my wife's tits. But, she sure was a cute little thing with the cutest little titties. I've always regretted that 'lost' opportunity.

Rich

[joenmichelle]

our first few times with males i was uncomfee but got over it... and i have talked to others if there isn't just a little bit of jitters when there are men over then you wouldn't be human.
My wife and i have a VERY secure relationship but it doesn't mean if some HOT guy came over i would be perfectly comfee but like i said i get over it matter of a fact i wish we could find men that are bigger than me.....it is a fantasy to watch her get it on with more than one male that is at least 9" if not larger.
hope that helped

[FLnewlyweds]

I too have been the small dick involved with my wife. He was almost 10" compared to my 7 1/2" but when it came down to it she just wanted both cocks anyway anyhow. The turn on for me was his size and watching her hadle such a big cock like a pro. At first I was was taken by his size but once we got involved it wasn't a big deal...both of us made her cum and we all had a good time. Watching the video since has also been fun!
A big stick just isn't the same as a big heart...the emotional connection between you two is what seperates the feelings and should deter the jealousy.

[rokhead]

Originally Posted by kittycat11

I always wanted to be one of those woman growing up and well, Im still tall, slender, brunette, dark eyes and small breasted!!

I say that you do err in wishing you were other than tall, slender, brunette, and small breasted. Such a package is rare and very desirable.

John & Jane
Nashville, TN

[meandher2go]

been the larger and last time the smaller and didnt feel wierd about it at all. thought i might but totally had no problem. her just loves the attention two guys can give her in that situation and i love seeing her like THAT. its very sexy.

dont sweat the small stuff. especially if you cant change it.