Jealousy?

In this lifestyle it seems jealousy is the main issue couples have with one another. Successfull swingers overcome it but most seem to have at least experienced it. Most of it seems to stem from one thinking the other is enjoyng themselves or did enjoy themselves too much.

Isn't swinging about letting your partner enjoy themselves to the fullest?
When we swing I want mrs naughty to have the hottest, wildest, naughtiest time possible! And when she does I think it's GREAT!!

There has been plenty times when she has vocalized herself in ways she hasn't with me. But that doesnt bring me jealousy that brings me extacy.

I want mrs naughty to experience pleasure beyond what she has ever experienced. I just can't understand getting upset or jealous over her having a completely erotic experience. That is what it is all about!!!

Do I just see things differently? Or is that what we all want in fantasy but when it becomes reality it's to much?

[Pinmonkey]

Well that is a very unselfish way of looking at it, and I think it is the correct way. However, I also think that it's human nature to be selfish and it take some people quite a bit of willpower to overcome it.

So to answer your question, no I don't think you see things differently, I just think you are in a state of mind where what you want is for your wife to get what she wants and when does then you feel good about it. But, what you want isn't to get off yourself, it's to watch her have a good time.

If that made sense. (It did to me, but then, I'm on this side of my monitor.)

Yes, it made perfect sense.

When we swing everything but her enjoying the experience becomes secondary to me.

[Couple Nxt Door]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

In this lifestyle it seems jealousy is the main issue couples have with one another. Successfull swingers overcome it but most seem to have at least experienced it. Most of it seems to stem from one thinking the other is enjoyng themselves or did enjoy themselves too much.

Isn't swinging about letting your partner enjoy themselves to the fullest?
When we swing I want mrs naughty to have the hottest, wildest, naughtiest time possible! And when she does I think it's GREAT!!

Do I just see things differently? Or is that what we all want in fantasy but when it becomes reality it's to much?

I've been wondering about this jealousy issue. My husband and I are exploring the idea of swinging right now and that seems to be one of his main concerns. He's afraid that he will feel jealous or like less of a man if I do something with someone else that I haven't done with him or if someone seems to be giving me more pleasure than he does.

On one hand, I don't understand it. On another hand, I think it probably has to do with some insecurities he has about himself and our relationship. We won't follow through with anything until we are both comfortable. But I'm wondering how much jealousy comes up. Right now, I don't think I would be jealous for him to be with someone else. I'm wondering if that will change. Has that ever happened to anyone here (didn't think they would feel jealous but ended up feeling jealous)? I love the idea of someone else doing things with him that I don't know how to do or might be unwilling to do.

[biblonde]

mr. naughty...our thoughts exactly!! We get off on the other one haveing a great time. We talk after playtime and discuss if the ones we were with did something better or different that we liked. We feel that if we are going to be doing this it should be fun and exciting. It surprises us on how many couples get upset over little things and get jelous over stuff. We have 100% trust in each other and leave the jelousy stuff behind. I just wish more couples were like that. It is annoying when one of us has to hold back for fear that the other couple will get upset or jelous..

but that is just my 2 cents for the day!!

[good times]

I don't know the answer to the jealousy problems some people have. I think the main reason we haven't had a problem with it is that we have a very solid and long term relationship with each other. as you said it's all about having a good time for us. Nothing gets me more excited than seeing Mrs. GT having a good time and if she experiances something in a way we never have it's a bonus to as far as I'm concerned.

[friskyous]

I experienced a short period of jealousy when we had our first threesome with another guy (our first swinging experience) but I got over it and we continued on to have a very memorable night. I attribute it to the fact that we had only been married for about three years and we were still very young (20 and 18). I very much enjoy seeing her receive pleasure from another guy,( or woman), it just doesn't happen often enough to suit me.
Mr Frisky

[Couple Nxt Door]

Originally Posted by Couple Nxt Door

I've been wondering about this jealousy issue. My husband and I are exploring the idea of swinging right now and that seems to be one of his main concerns. He's afraid that he will feel jealous or like less of a man if I do something with someone else that I haven't done with him or if someone seems to be giving me more pleasure than he does.

Hubby here: I do not feel as if I would be less of a man. I can see myself getting upset about her doing things with someone else that I have wanted to do with her and she has not let me. That situation in my mind would upset me (I think). I would expect that the intensity during playing with someone else would be higher, so her experienceing more pleasure, does not bother me much. I have wanted more from our sex life and for her to offer more of herself to someone else has me concerned.

[Couple Nxt Door]

Originally Posted by Couple Nxt Door

I love the idea of someone else doing things with him that I don't know how to do or might be unwilling to do.

I am willing to, not do what she is unwilling to do and want to learn together those things that niether one of us know how to do.

One of my other concerns is that CND would love to see me experiencing more pleasure with someone else, however, the only person that I really want to do things with is her (I love her ). Which in my convoluted way of thinking makes me think that it is becuase she wants to experience someone else, it is Ok for me to as well. Since my focus is on her it does make me jeolous that she wants to experience someone else. I will admit, I am a little insecure .

Now, I do not want to say that I would not enjoy myself with someone else, I am sure it would be intense, however my focus is on CND. It would not have occured to me to swing or cheat. Now that that door has been opened, I am exploring the idea and I find many things potentially exciting facelick .

I have a lot of mixed feelings, about this direction our life is taking. I think going to a club, mixing, working towards soft swapping is something, I could work with right away.

I am also very nervous about developing relationships, beyond friendship. I am very concerned about attachment.

[TH1PG490]

I can see myself getting upset about her doing things with someone else that I have wanted to do with her and she has not let me. That situation in my mind would upset me (I think).

Male half here, I can understand what your saying. For instance maybe anal has been off limits then you get into a swinging situation and she trys anal with another guy. I think that would cause jealousy in 99.9% of people. I'd say you need to discuss this with her before you start swinging. For the illustration above a "No Anal" rule.

Now as far as seeing her really excited thats different, just being with someone new is bound to raise the excitement level. Lets say she gets super heated by a guy licking her pussy facelick , more than what she has with you in a while. I think I'd walk up to the guy later and ask what he was doing that was getting her so revved up or ask her later, then add that technique to your own bag of tricks.

We are just starting out and learning, I want this to be something we do together as a couple not something we do for ourselves individually. On top of this I hope to learn more techniques and get more ideas for when its just her and I together.

[robnbarb]

I believe Me and Mr. naughty share the same brain or something. That is exactly what I look for is my wife's enjoyment more than anything else. Jeliousy, I hope not when it happens, I can't see how if we are open and honest and keep that same aditude.

[Newbies46514]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

In this lifestyle it seems jealousy is the main issue couples have with one another. Successfull swingers overcome it but most seem to have at least experienced it. Most of it seems to stem from one thinking the other is enjoyng themselves or did enjoy themselves too much.

Isn't swinging about letting your partner enjoy themselves to the fullest?
When we swing I want mrs naughty to have the hottest, wildest, naughtiest time possible! And when she does I think it's GREAT!!

There has been plenty times when she has vocalized herself in ways she hasn't with me. But that doesnt bring me jealousy that brings me extacy.

I want mrs naughty to experience pleasure beyond what she has ever experienced. I just can't understand getting upset or jealous over her having a completely erotic experience. That is what it is all about!!!

Do I just see things differently? Or is that what we all want in fantasy but when it becomes reality it's to much?

Damnit! Why don't you two live in the same state as us?! Why?!

:rollseyes
It's a small world, you never know, maybe someday we will......... facelick

[fraja]

I can understand the jealousy concerns....but I think much depends on the couples relationship and we're they're coming from. In my case, there was some cheating done by Mr. Frajan early on...and although, we've worked through that and we're in a better spot than ever, these old feelings crop up when I see his eagerness toward the lady in another couple. It will take time and lots of building of trust to get past that 100%...so much depends on former issues. I think the more good couples we meet and positive experiences happen, the more enjoyable it will be for both of us...one step at a time.

[Newbies46514]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

:rollseyes
It's a small world, you never know, maybe someday we will......... facelick

Note to self...get to know Mr.&Mrs. N better before next Seminar trip to Dallas next summer. facelick