How to approach other swingers for our first time?

[asr999]

I guess we are looking for suggestions as to how to approach our "first time". We have talked about it continously for the past 2 years and both are pretty open to trying most anything. But we are not sure if we should go to a club or try and meet a couple via the internet, message boards, mags ...etc...
Any suggestions. I say experienced because we have lived all our fantasies verbally with each other during our love making.
I am sure there is NO right way, but am willing to bet there are alot of wrong ways to me people. We prefer meeting another couple but like I said, not sure of the approach.

Al&BJ

[anandjeff2]

Well what we did was join a few sites that had swingers ads. We talked with people via AOL messenger and when we felt that we had found someone we liked we would talk on the phone and then meet. Many meeting truned out to be duds..some were potential..the funniest thing is the first couple we played with were not what we were looking for but we have a great relationship and things happened naturally. Don't rush into anything and listen carefully to people. There are a lot of wierdos out there and you have to learn how to tell the real from the fakes. What you have to do is figure out what you are looking for and what rules you will have. Then find people who think like you..at least we find they are the best for us...and pursue it at the pace you feel most comfortable with. It took us a year before we even found any couples we liked. And even then we had to weed out the ones that we thought matched our criteria but really didn't. Its a long process sometimes but with expereience you get better at it. Good luck!

An

[asr999]

Thanks for the info... we were starting to think we were too "slelctive" and alittle too cautious.

Thank You for your reply,

Al&BJ

Originally posted by anandjeff2:
Well what we did was join a few sites that had swingers ads. We talked with people via AOL messenger and when we felt that we had found someone we liked we would talk on the phone and then meet. Many meeting truned out to be duds..some were potential..the funniest thing is the first couple we played with were not what we were looking for but we have a great relationship and things happened naturally. Don't rush into anything and listen carefully to people. There are a lot of wierdos out there and you have to learn how to tell the real from the fakes. What you have to do is figure out what you are looking for and what rules you will have. Then find people who think like you..at least we find they are the best for us...and pursue it at the pace you feel most comfortable with. It took us a year before we even found any couples we liked. And even then we had to weed out the ones that we thought matched our criteria but really didn't. Its a long process sometimes but with expereience you get better at it. Good luck!

An

asr999,

You can never be "too selective", especially when it cums to sharing your lifetime mate with a stranger you both met off an ad/internet/mags/etc. (with whom you both wanna take your time getting to know each other before taking your relationship any further than "just friends"). Communication, trust & honesty, patience & understanding are important to ANY relationship. Like dating, but now you have 3 or more people involved. Same goes with playing with "close friends" of yours, which I think is pretty cool!

In the process of your search, both of you should cum to mutual agreement, when choosing your playmates, whether it be physical attraction, personality, or attitude, etc. If one of you are not comfortable with "playing" with either the male or female of potential couples/partners, then maybe they're in the "friends only" catagory, and not for "sexual-play friends" catagory. You'll never know, but you don't wanna rush things either, so take your time and move at your own pace, set your rules ahead of the "game", and make adjustments as needed.

Until then, be very selective and don't cut yourselves short of attaining both your fantasies. It'll happen, and when it does, if you've taken all the precautions you've set for your search, you won't be disappointed!

And btw...You "say experienced because we have lived all our fantasies verbally with each other during our love making... Believe me, actually having your fantasies becum reality vs. verbal fantasies (so far), is two CUMpletely different scenerios. Just make sure that both of you are prepared for the unknown, but willing to have fun and enjoy your fantasies when they do cum true...


Good luck & have FUN!
Wife of CyberMWCouple

[asr999]

CyberMWCouple,
thanks for your insight, sounds like you "been there done that" and are caring about people, especially those that are doing so the first time. Like i said, we have talked about this alot, and don't feel like we are jumping into something we are not prepared for. But, as you pointed out, fantasies and real life can be two different things. Problem is we are at a place where we Have to do it, since we have exhausted our lovemaking talk and truelly do want to experience some of it, or a piece of it. Don't get me wrong, we are not bored with our lovemaking, just want to expand our experience.

thanks again

Originally posted by CyberMWCouple:
asr999,

You can never be "too selective", especially when it cums to sharing your lifetime mate with a stranger you both met off an ad/internet/mags/etc. (with whom you both wanna take your time getting to know each other before taking your relationship any further than "just friends"). Communication, trust & honesty, patience & understanding are important to ANY relationship. Like dating, but now you have 3 or more people involved. Same goes with playing with "close friends" of yours, which I think is pretty cool!

In the process of your search, both of you should cum to mutual agreement, when choosing your playmates, whether it be physical attraction, personality, or attitude, etc. If one of you are not comfortable with "playing" with either the male or female of potential couples/partners, then maybe they're in the "friends only" catagory, and not for "sexual-play friends" catagory. You'll never know, but you don't wanna rush things either, so take your time and move at your own pace, set your rules ahead of the "game", and make adjustments as needed.

Until then, be very selective and don't cut yourselves short of attaining both your fantasies. It'll happen, and when it does, if you've taken all the precautions you've set for your search, you won't be disappointed!

And btw...You "say experienced because we have lived all our fantasies verbally with each other during our love making... Believe me, actually having your fantasies becum reality vs. verbal fantasies (so far), is two CUMpletely different scenerios. Just make sure that both of you are prepared for the unknown, but willing to have fun and enjoy your fantasies when they do cum true...


Good luck & have FUN!
Wife of CyberMWCouple

Originally posted by asr999:
CyberMWCouple,
....Problem is we are at a place where we Have to do it, since we have exhausted our lovemaking talk and truelly do want to experience some of it, or a piece of it. Don't get me wrong, we are not bored with our lovemaking, just want to expand our experience.

thanks again

You're welcome!

And by all means, if you both feel that you're ready to take the "plunge", have fun "expanding your lovemaking experience(s)"! We look forward to hearing about your "after-effects"...

MMMMmmmmmmm....*Remembering ours*


GOOD LUCK!
Wife of CyberMWCouple

[asr999]

I think that's what I was trying to say, but not as eliquentley as you did. We want to expand on something (sexually) that we both find very interesting (actually very human, very natural) .. We have been together for about 16 years now, and would hope at this point we know each other. One thing I do know, is that we are very secure with each other and I would have to believe that would be a prerequisit to any type of swapping activity.

When she describes in detail her fantasy about having sex with another man, I find it a complete turn on, without jealousy. And want her to do that because one, i want to watch, two, she deserves every bit of what life has to offer. And we have a great sexlife. Dont get me wrong, we are not out to spice up our sexlife, just rev it up alittle.

AL&BJ

Originally posted by CyberMWCouple:
You're welcome!

And by all means, if you both feel that you're ready to take the "plunge", have fun "expanding your lovemaking experience(s)"! We look forward to hearing about your "after-effects"...

MMMMmmmmmmm....*Remembering ours*


GOOD LUCK!
Wife of CyberMWCouple

Originally posted by asr999:
.....Dont get me wrong, we are not out to spice up our sexlife, just rev it up alittle.

AL&BJ

I know the feeling! And it feels EROTICALLY AWESOME too!

Sounds to me, like you're both ready to go for it! If anything, you could at least try same room sex first, no swapping, just to get a feel of things. Then if the mood is right, and the chemistry is set, full swap would be your next step then.

Or, you could be like those of us who just went for the GUSTO, and had a full swap session. Of course, for us, we started off with pleasing each other orally first (which is how WE prefer our sessions to start off, and it gives us the chance to explore the voyeurism in us ), then we swapped partners and pleasured each other orally, the next thing we knew, we were riding that roller coaster of pure ecstasy! OMG! What a turn on THAT was!


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 06-29-2001).]

[JustAskJulie]

I think just as there is no "right" way there really is no "wrong" way to meet people either. It comes down to what works best for you. Internet personal ads will get you more responses faster, however you will have to weed out a lot of fakes moreso than you might in a magazine. Magazines usually don't have direct contact and charge people to reply to you so they are more often sincere replies. As to clubs they give you a good opportunity to meet people face to face right from the get-go.

More importantly is for you guys to decide how you want to go about fulfilling your fantasies. Do you want just find someone to fulfill the fantasy (one night) or do you want something longer term where they can help you fulfill many fantasies to come. Have that in mind before you start looking so you can include that info in your ad for more targeted responses or so that you can have a clearer view at a party/club of what it is you want for that night. If you are looking for someone longer term I'd suggest you get to know them better ahead of time.. more often playing at the first meet is like screwing on your first date.. chances of seeing them again are slimmer (it can happen.. but it's less likely).

And don't worry you can never be too selective or choosy. Don't let anyone push you into anything.. just wait till you find the right one(s) and go from there with what you feel comfortable with.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[CanadianCouple]

Originally posted by CyberMWCouple:
Of course, for us, we started off with pleasing each other orally first

I have a question, if you don't mind, one I've already asked someone else in here privately. It's concerning an issue Janette and I spoke of soon after finishing a swap session with a couple last year.

I'm not sure, but I'm assuming either one or both of you are straight? If so, does it bother you knowing the person you're swapping with has just engaged in oral sex with their partner first? In other words, you're kissing the other husband AFTER he's gone down on his wife. And cyberhusband is kissing the other woman after another man's penis was in her mouth. (I'm assuming things weren't halted so everyone could gargle before switching.)

Janette and I are both VERY straight, and it's something that never occurred to me until after the fact when she mentioned it. I guess you could consider it a sort of same-sex by proxy, one that makes us both a bit uncomfortable when we think about it. This subject might be more suitable under the 'new topic' heading, but we're just curious if other straight players have thought of this, and if so does it bother them. As I mentioned last night, Janette and the other woman took turns fellating me one evening, and although Janette wasn't crazy about sharing her saliva, she did it to please me.

Just wondering how you guys feel about it.

Dan

[asr999]

If I am not wrong, I believe you're calling me a cocksucker by proxy.

Actually the thought has never entertained me. I actually enjoy the thought that my wife has given someone head during a swap session. I guess I don't understand your question. You said you recently participated in a swap and don't understand why kissing your wife after she ate another worman would offend you. I think I could live with the taste of another worman on my wifes tounge.

Originally posted by CanadianCouple:
I have a question, if you don't mind, one I've already asked someone else in here privately. It's concerning an issue Janette and I spoke of soon after finishing a swap session with a couple last year.

I'm not sure, but I'm assuming either one or both of you are straight? If so, does it bother you knowing the person you're swapping with has just engaged in oral sex with their partner first? In other words, you're kissing the other husband AFTER he's gone down on his wife. And cyberhusband is kissing the other woman after another man's penis was in her mouth. (I'm assuming things weren't halted so everyone could gargle before switching.)

Janette and I are both VERY straight, and it's something that never occurred to me until after the fact when she mentioned it. I guess you could consider it a sort of same-sex by proxy, one that makes us both a bit uncomfortable when we think about it. This subject might be more suitable under the 'new topic' heading, but we're just curious if other straight players have thought of this, and if so does it bother them. As I mentioned last night, Janette and the other woman took turns fellating me one evening, and although Janette wasn't crazy about sharing her saliva, she did it to please me.

Just wondering how you guys feel about it.

Dan

Dan,
I understand and I have thought of this before we ever got into swinging.

It does not bother me that I shake hands with another man. That's skin to skin contact. While I am very straight, I realize that things are going to be a lot different than normal during playtime. And although I do not want to be in contact with him sexually, I also know that to delve into it much more than that becomes obsessive and I just tell myself to let it go.

Some things just have to be overlooked in order for the fun to continue. Besides, his dick was never in MY mouth.

Husband of CyberMWCouple

[This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 06-30-2001).]

asr999...I think Dan meant visa-versa, kissing his wife after she's sucked another man's cock?

CanadianCouple...I guess it really doesn't bother me, tasting pussy juice from hubby's mouth/lips/face/etc. (he can get a bit messy at times ). All I know is, SEX is in the air, and bodies are pounding and squirming, and moaning and groaning, and everybody is HOT & WET and horny as can be, we just enjoy that EROTIC moment, hoping for it to never end!

HHhhmm....Hey Dan, grab us a bottle of that Yohimbe on your next trip back to GNC, okay?! Just kiddin'....*LOL*

Anyway, we know of other couples, where the male gets really turned on by going down on his wife and tasting the other hubby's cum dripping from her HOT WET pussy! And yet, he's straight also. I guess it's not the same as actually doing it physically.

It's just one of those things that just turns people on in the heat of the moment...


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 06-30-2001).]

[CanadianCouple]

asr999;
You had better re-read my husbands post. These lips have never touched another female, nor has any other part of me.

Janette of CanadianCouple

[Stratecpl]

I will not kiss a man after he has been down on another woman... If he wants a smoochie from me then he'd better have a bottle of Scope and a toothbrush handy!!

Connie