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Thread: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

  1. #1

    Default women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    ive recently bought toys and videos for me any my gf. i was wondering if seeing that and using the toys with 2 holes filled will get her interested in swinging?

  2. #2

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    Not here.

    We saw a segment on the Lifestyle on 48 Hours, and Terry Gould was interviewed, about his Book, "The Lifestyle: The Erotic Rites of Swingers" (or something like that.)

    After seeing the segment, we went to Amazon.con, and ordered his book, as well as The Ethical Slut.

    We read them both together aloud, taking turns.

    We met our first couple.
    My wife kissed her first girl.

    We haven't looked back since.


    With respect to porn... I dunno... almost all the women I know don't enjoy porn the way guys, too. A lot of it is pretty anti-woman... especially the stuff that I see pop up when I'm surfing. I can't imagine a typical DP scene would open up a couple to the Lifestyle... but who knows!!!

  3. #3

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    Porn and toys didn't have any effect on us becoming swingers. However, talking to each other about our fantasies did. We talked about a lot of other things too... how we would feel, what we would like to do, what we wanted in other people to swing with... you get the idea. Then it became a matter of turning fantasy into reality... and it wasn't at all like we thought, but being on the same page as we went through the process made all the difference in the world.

    On another note... the Mrs. does like porn, gets her hot as a pistol, but she is very visual, more so than most other women we know. And she prefers a bit more of a story and porn with some build-up... not just straigtht to the action so to speak... but I digress.

  4. #4

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    I'd have to say yes to porn and no to toys. I was the one to bring swinging up to my husband. We were watching some porn with 2 girls and a guy and I was really turne one by it. So I shyly said "that looks like fun" and the rest is history. I had never thought about it before and was surprised I came up with the idea and even more surprised the mr agreed.

  5. #5

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    DH and I both love porn and that is likely how the fantasy/conversations started many years ago. Just a few months ago we were finally able to make the fantasty come true with a close female friend of mine who is bi. I love toys too but doubt that it had anything to do with it. Ok, maybe a little bit. 2 men at the same time is a HUGE fantasy of mine.

    We are now looking to broaden our horizens even further and hope to attend our first party soon.

    BTW, this is my first post.

  6. #6

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    Quote Originally Posted by scott17201
    ive recently bought toys and videos for me any my gf. i was wondering if seeing that and using the toys with 2 holes filled will get her interested in swinging?
    You never know, but I think the only thing that will do is make her really horny lol. Perhaps it will get you laid! Which, of course, is always a good thing. Swinging? Perhaps.
    Merry Christmas and a Ho Ho Ho
    Shelly

  7. #7

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    Quote Originally Posted by scott17201
    ive recently bought toys and videos for me any my gf. i was wondering if seeing that and using the toys with 2 holes filled will get her interested in swinging?
    I would say no. Oh,.... and then there's NO.

    Swinging is much more about what the couple can do for each other, not what you can get HER to do. You need a pretty stable relationship first, and just getting her to watch porn and using toys has nothing to do with that. Read a bunch of posts, you'll learn some stuff

    Mrs LOL
    Somebody better go back and get a shitload of dimes!!!

  8. #8

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    I don't think porn or toys started us in swinging, but they both help with our play now! Our lifestyle started with open, honest conversation. The conversation started during sex - talking about our fantasies. I think the conversation that got us comfortable talking about our fantasies was the 'tell me about your past - I promise no jealousy or disregard - I'll just listen and then I'll tell you about my past'. We shared our first fuck, our first blow job (giving for me, receiving for him), our first voyeur experience, our first exhibitionist experience, our first one night stand, our first outside fuck, our first 'do it everywhere' night, etc. By the time we finished 'sharing' we were so hot we couldn't stand it. We had a great night of sex.

    The next time we wanted to try to recapture that experience - and we'd already shared all the 'firsts' we started admitting to all sorts of other experiences. One thing led to another and we started sharing fantasies!

    The rest is history!

    Sarah

  9. #9

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    Count us in the NOPE category as well. Porn and toys are great and all, but that had NOTHING to do with us wanting to swing.
    Dave & Holly

  10. #10

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    Unfortunately (from what I gather from your post), you have missed the most important step - communication. To get your girlfriend interested in swinging you have to find out where her head is on the subject. Have you talked about it at all to her to find out if she is receptive to the idea, or if she has any fantasies that she might want to explore. Porn and toys are great enhancers for your sex life and they are certainly a good first step AFTER having talking to her and confirming she is interested.

    Otherwise it is comparable to going out and spending money on power tools and do it yourself video's and hoping that will make her as interested as you are on residing the house.
    "Well! Evil to some is always good to others." - Jane Austen

  11. #11

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    scott,

    I guess the problem with your question is that you're not asking about porn and toys in general, but about a fantasy of you that (I am sure) is the main subject of the porn, and a way to use the toy as to bring this very fantasy closer to reality.

    So, disregarding the elements (porn, toys), IMO, you have a problem of method, and you're thinking of one that, deppending on your GF mindset, could lead her to leave you with the DVD stucked up your mouth and the toy stucked up your ass.

    Porn may be ok, but you have to dig in your GF fantasies (instead of yours) to pick the subject, or at least ask the tender of the movies women enjoy. The same happens with toys, you can give her a toy as a gift and let her get used to it alone (or ask you to participate in this process) before trying the DP stuff.

    In any case, if you take the right approach you may be surprised from the fantasies your GF may have on her own, after she tells you about them, and in any case, unless you find out you both share this fantasy, this would be something more close to a bargain, where both of you were eager to learn and share each other fantasies, while respecting each other limits.

    So the question shouldn't be about what, but about how.

  12. #12

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    we have talked about it. shes not ready for the thought of me with another girl. but my friend and i have talked about getting our girls together. he said his finance will do it. and my gf thinks she is cute and said with some drinks in her she might get with her. so i figured this could be a starting point.

  13. #13

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    I asked Mrs. WS and she said "No. It was fulfilling fantasies only other men and women in the same room could do. Toys are toys, DVD is DVD, flesh is flesh."

    Mr. WS
    "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud
    Blog: Bigger Love

  14. #14

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    Nope. Videos and toys is just another part of foreplay for us.
    Attitude is what makes a person truly beautiful. telly2

  15. #15

    Default Re: women: did porn and toys help u get into swinging?

    Nope no influence at all
    Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. "Harvey Fierstein"

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