Should I do this for him?

[dan_tasha]

Me and my man have been intrested and been talking about this for about 6 months now...he is really into the idea but i am not as much...i want it but am jus a lil sketchy on it....i t really seems to turn him on and i was just wondering should i do this jus for him or should i want it as much as he should?

[sweet_tna]

Hi Dan_tasha! I think it's best if this is something you BOTH want. There are certainly a lot of things we do for our spouses that we may not necessarily enjoy doing. But swinging should NOT be one of them.

If you're sure this is something you really don't want, you need to TELL him. If it's something you don't know whether you want or not, TELL him. Maybe by reading more threads on this board, or going to a club (even just so have a look-see and a hot evening out), you can find out more.

One thing you'll find out really quick is that the number one rule with swingers is NO means NO. So if you don't want to do this, that's all you have to say.

Either way,

=)

[socolais]

Welcome to the board. I'm glad you decided to look further into this and join in on the discussions. There's plenty of information in the old threads and if you have a specific question, just ask.

What kind of activities have yall been discussing?

[tribbles]

I think you both have to want to do it. Maybe in different amounts but you have to want it

Ask him he is will let a guy do him anally and that you really really want to see it and see how thrilled he is with the idea of doing it to please you.

You get the idea?

[two4youinswva]

First of all, welcome to the board.

Yes, you need to sit down with him and tell him exactly what's on your mind, and what is holding you back.

You can look through the forums here, and see some of the advice others have received regarding their concerns.

Finally, looking at your Swing Lifestyle profile, I would suggest changing the profile to reflect where you currently stand. Your profile tends to lead others into thinking you're "ready to go", when it sounds like you really aren't at this time.

In the end, whether you decide to swing or not, it should be because you want to, or don't want to.

Best of luck to you!

[good times]

I don't know if you have to want to do it as bad as he does, but you do have to want to do it. Fact is, it just won't work for anyone if you don't.

[Bama0468]

There is nothing I can really add to this for you all, you do both have to want it for it to work for you all, if not it can cause hard feelings and other issues if you secretly do not want it and try any how.

Personal experience from me, my wife wanted it well before I was up for the idea, I had my own issues and demons to work with and it took us 3 years of discussion before I was completely ... well not completely, but I was totaly curious about it enough to try and meet some one ( some of that was with a little help, I have the story in my blog).

Some things you might want to add to your discusions would behow would you or he feel if the he saw you enjoying another man so, or how would you feel seeing him enjoy another woman? sometime the thought is better than the reality for some and can cause jealousy or insecurities. I am not stating this to scare you off from it, but just so you realize what is a posabilty and not be blind sided.

At any rate you both need to be completely open, honest and forth right with each other regarding all facetes of you fantasies, feelings, and emotions. Remember no means no and stop means stop, discuss your rules as to what is allowable and what is not ( should you descide to play) and set it up in advance that if one or the other says stop all things stop period. that is the only way you all will be able to get through it.

As others have mentioned try a club, you are under no obligation to play, but you can check it out and see, discuss with each other how you feel and what you think.

anyhow take it slow, theres no hurry, the lifestyle nor we here are going anywhere

[JustAskJulie]

Tasha,

What things are you still sketchy on?

As others have said this needs to be something you BOTH want and you should absolutely NOT swing if you are only doing it for him.

[ownerspet]

I would say you have to want it too... , but you could actually bring up the idea of going to a club or a social or a meet and greet. However in the same sentence, be sure to tell him that you are two are not going to play and that you want to check it out, so you get an idea of what's going on. That may be a way to get past whatever you are sketchy on. However if you are just doing this for him, you may not be happy just making him happy. So think long and hard before you move from checking out the scene to a play situation. Not everyone just dives in to the pile. Until about 6 months back, me and wife were just playing together, and we attended meet&greets/socials/clubs for about a year before that.

Thats my 2 cents.....

[Couple-N-NM]

Are you guys still here? Please tell us what you've experienced or talked about!