How can i convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple

schnidermike1 · 11-29-2007, 12:34 PM

I'm maried and i love my wife,her sex life is nothing.
she never had sex with any one but me,i love to share her with other guy or couple.any one can advice on how to convince her?

sweet_tna · 11-29-2007, 01:12 PM

There's lots of good information and advice to be found here. I would suggest you TALK to your wife about what you'd like, and what fantasies she may have. Keep in mind, though, that there's no "convincing her"--she has to decide this is what she wants for herself. You can lead a horse to water . . .

=)

**BiloxiCouple** · 11-29-2007, 02:27 PM

You can't convince her. She has to want to do it.

Pierced-n-Proud · 11-29-2007, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BiloxiCouple

You can't convince her. She has to want to do it.

Absolutely correct. Swingingis not something that you can convince anyone to do. In our case it took 26 years of building my partner up, making her see that she is a desirable and beautiful woman. Then when we did try, she found that yes, she was desired by other men and women and the confirmation of this caused a sexual revolution in our marriage. The danger is if you focus on swinging only, it could become one-sided and she may end up with a bad experience if she tries it just to please you...and this certainly is not what we want for our loved ones.

Focus on her self esteem, many good articles on this site about this. A great new haicut, sexy underwear - just for her and the rest may well follow.
Good luck and take your time.

Sico_tiko · 11-30-2007, 08:07 AM

well mmmmm i think u wont be able to convince her as this is very hard issue but the simplest thing is try to spice up your life with her for example watch adult movies together and try to show her films for MFM or FMF or gangbangs and c what is her comment, maybe she would like the idea, and maybe she would like to try. Best Wishes

**BiloxiCouple** · 11-30-2007, 08:18 AM

Become an active member of this board and show her the info here.

Small steps. Communicate and listen to her.

Since you only gave us three sentences to work with, the advice is limited. Introduce yourself.

Darkblue · 11-30-2007, 01:34 PM

I have the same thing with my wife and the info i got here was really good, so good that i no longer ask her if she´s interested in another man, we go and do what we feel happy with and even upto date she hasnt bonked another man and she says she is happy that way so i have to accept that and yet we still have lots of fun with other couples.
You may find you will have to accept that just does not want to, i have, although i still live in hope...
whatever you do don´t bug her about it or she will get fed up and you may end up not swinging at all then all hope is lost and as the others have said she really needs to do this because she wants to and not because you want too, she may well end up blaming you if she has a bad time and if she isn´t ready then she most likely will have a bad time..

Steve

MRnMSbhaven · 11-30-2007, 04:24 PM

I concur... there's no convincing. Talk to her about what you'd like (she may surprise you). Share information too (like this site). We were scared to death and convinced that all swingers were like Austin Powers when we started. We researched and learned, not the case.

If she's game then you're good. If not then you may have to send it to the world of fantasy (no convincing).

Ms B

**cplnuswing** · 11-30-2007, 06:12 PM

You both have to be interested. There are two kinds of convincing - trying to convince someone to do something they absolutely don't want to do, and trying to convince (or, better put, talk through concerns) someone to try something they actually are interested in but just hesitant about for whatever reason. Big difference between the two.

If your situation is the first and you persist, you are inviting problems. If it's the second, do as others have said and talk, research, etc the topic together and see where it goes.

One other thing to honestly ask yourself - 1) do you want this for her, even though she has said doesn't want it herself, 2) do you want this for you, either because you think seeing her with someone else would be hot or else give you the opportunity to be with someone else, 3) or do you both want this together to enrich your own relationship? If its not #3, might want to think long and hard about bringing it up again. She probably knows the answer, no matter which you tell her it is.

Tybee Swing · 12-01-2007, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by schnidermike1

her sex life is nothing.

Can you write more about what you mean by this statement?

schnidermike1 · 12-01-2007, 10:08 AM

Hi there,
I'm the one who ask always for sex...its very rear that she ask for it.
also she dont like different positions or new things and dont alow to play or use any sex toys.

Tybee Swing · 12-01-2007, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by schnidermike1

Hi there,
I'm the one who ask always for sex...its very rear that she ask for it.
also she dont like different positions or new things and dont alow to play or use any sex toys.

I thought so...and she also has never been with anybody else sexually, but you.

Don't you think you are trying to leap the Grand Canyon in one jump, when you say you want to introduce her (convince her) to swing? I can't imagine that if you introduce her to this idea now, she would be open to it.

Before anything, you need to gradually and gently open up sexual communication between the two of you. You have to both learn to be comfortable expressing your sexual desires together. Get "regular" books and videos about monogamous marital sex, and focus on expanding your sex life together. If she can't be comfortable with various sexual positions or anything new with you, why would she be comfortable and sexually open with strangers??

Let me find a thread for you that you can benefit from.... (see next post)

Tybee Swing · 12-01-2007, 10:26 AM

Here it is, a thread called "How to Bring the Lust Back". http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...ad.php?t=36996

Read the suggestions given here by board members. What I wrote to this guy, I would also write to you.

schnidermike1 · 12-01-2007, 10:33 AM

Thank you very much

Tybee Swing · 12-01-2007, 10:50 AM

You're welcome.

Mike, I just noticed that you have a link to an Swing Lifestyle profile. I'm not a member of Swing Lifestyle and you don't have an external profile (I can't read it), but I wonder why you have it?

You're married to a conservative wife who hasn't even been introduced yet to the notion of you two swinging. (I think you know that she's nowhere near ready for that.)

So, I'm just really curious....what are you doing on a swinger hookup site like Swing Lifestyle with a profile on it? Is this behind your wife's back? (I'm not referring to being on this board, which is informational - this isn't a hook-up board.)

I have to tell you this....if my husband had been sneaking around with a profile on a hookup site, we never would have started swinging. I wouldn't have been able to trust him or his motives. We are in this together, start to finish, or we're not in it at all. Honesty and having trust in our partner are the most important factors in whether or not swinging will ever work out for a couple.

Just some thoughts for you, from a wife.

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11-29-2007, 12:34 PM	#1 (permalink)
schnidermike1 Registered Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Fredericksburg Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:schnidermike	How can i convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple I'm maried and i love my wife,her sex life is nothing. she never had sex with any one but me,i love to share her with other guy or couple.any one can advice on how to convince her?

11-29-2007, 01:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
sweet_tna Being good is overrated Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 4,221 Location: Poconos, PA Status: The boss of Mr. Sweet Swing Lifestyle Name:Sweet_tna	Re: How can i convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple There's lots of good information and advice to be found here. I would suggest you TALK to your wife about what you'd like, and what fantasies she may have. Keep in mind, though, that there's no "convincing her"--she has to decide this is what she wants for herself. You can lead a horse to water . . . =)
	__________________ I'd rather go to hell for doing something I enjoyed than heaven wondering what it's like.

11-29-2007, 02:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
BiloxiCouple Julie's Helper Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,002 Location: Biloxi, Mississippi Status: Couple with benefits and retired Swing Lifestyle Name:graceful	Re: How can i convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple You can't convince her. She has to want to do it.
	__________________ *Live in the moment before they are gone.*

11-30-2007, 08:07 AM	#5 (permalink)
Sico_tiko Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 185 Location: Eg Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:sico_tiko	Re: How can i convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple well mmmmm i think u wont be able to convince her as this is very hard issue but the simplest thing is try to spice up your life with her for example watch adult movies together and try to show her films for MFM or FMF or gangbangs and c what is her comment, maybe she would like the idea, and maybe she would like to try. Best Wishes

11-30-2007, 08:18 AM	#6 (permalink)
BiloxiCouple Julie's Helper Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,002 Location: Biloxi, Mississippi Status: Couple with benefits and retired Swing Lifestyle Name:graceful	Re: How can i convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple Become an active member of this board and show her the info here. Small steps. Communicate and listen to her. Since you only gave us three sentences to work with, the advice is limited. Introduce yourself.
	__________________ *Live in the moment before they are gone.*

11-30-2007, 01:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
Darkblue Steve and Susanne Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 229 Location: Germany Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:darkblue	Re: How can i convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple I have the same thing with my wife and the info i got here was really good, so good that i no longer ask her if she´s interested in another man, we go and do what we feel happy with and even upto date she hasnt bonked another man and she says she is happy that way so i have to accept that and yet we still have lots of fun with other couples. You may find you will have to accept that just does not want to, i have, although i still live in hope... whatever you do don´t bug her about it or she will get fed up and you may end up not swinging at all then all hope is lost and as the others have said she really needs to do this because she wants to and not because you want too, she may well end up blaming you if she has a bad time and if she isn´t ready then she most likely will have a bad time.. Steve

11-30-2007, 04:24 PM	#8 (permalink)
MRnMSbhaven Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 161 Location: Wisconsin Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mrnmsbhaven	Re: How can i convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple I concur... there's no convincing. Talk to her about what you'd like (she may surprise you). Share information too (like this site). We were scared to death and convinced that all swingers were like Austin Powers when we started. We researched and learned, not the case. If she's game then you're good. If not then you may have to send it to the world of fantasy (no convincing). Ms B

11-30-2007, 06:12 PM	#9 (permalink)
cplnuswing Lifestyle Mentor Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,372 Location: Georgia Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:gawildstreak	Re: How can i convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple You both have to be interested. There are two kinds of convincing - trying to convince someone to do something they absolutely don't want to do, and trying to convince (or, better put, talk through concerns) someone to try something they actually are interested in but just hesitant about for whatever reason. Big difference between the two. If your situation is the first and you persist, you are inviting problems. If it's the second, do as others have said and talk, research, etc the topic together and see where it goes. One other thing to honestly ask yourself - 1) do you want this for her, even though she has said doesn't want it herself, 2) do you want this for you, either because you think seeing her with someone else would be hot or else give you the opportunity to be with someone else, 3) or do you both want this together to enrich your own relationship? If its not #3, might want to think long and hard about bringing it up again. She probably knows the answer, no matter which you tell her it is.

12-01-2007, 10:08 AM	#11 (permalink)
schnidermike1 Registered Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Fredericksburg Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:schnidermike	Re: How can i convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple Hi there, I'm the one who ask always for sex...its very rear that she ask for it. also she dont like different positions or new things and dont alow to play or use any sex toys.

12-01-2007, 10:26 AM	#13 (permalink)
Tybee Swing Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 1,845 Location: Georgia Status: single female	Re: How can i convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple Here it is, a thread called "How to Bring the Lust Back". http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...ad.php?t=36996 Read the suggestions given here by board members. What I wrote to this guy, I would also write to you.

12-01-2007, 10:33 AM	#14 (permalink)
schnidermike1 Registered Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Fredericksburg Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:schnidermike	Re: How can i convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple Thank you very much

12-01-2007, 10:50 AM	#15 (permalink)
Tybee Swing Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 1,845 Location: Georgia Status: single female	Re: How can i convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple You're welcome. Mike, I just noticed that you have a link to an Swing Lifestyle profile. I'm not a member of Swing Lifestyle and you don't have an external profile (I can't read it), but I wonder why you have it? You're married to a conservative wife who hasn't even been introduced yet to the notion of you two swinging. (I think you know that she's nowhere near ready for that.) So, I'm just really curious....what are you doing on a swinger hookup site like Swing Lifestyle with a profile on it? Is this behind your wife's back? (I'm not referring to being on this board, which is informational - this isn't a hook-up board.) I have to tell you this....if my husband had been sneaking around with a profile on a hookup site, we never would have started swinging. I wouldn't have been able to trust him or his motives. We are in this together, start to finish, or we're not in it at all. Honesty and having trust in our partner are the most important factors in whether or not swinging will ever work out for a couple. Just some thoughts for you, from a wife.

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