Is patience my answer?

[DaBo]

Since I've last posted, we have had a short but serious talk. Nothing seemed to come from it, but while we were running errands on 'our day' (kids in school and neither work on Mondays), she joked about us being on a date, so I faked taking off my ring so we wouldn't be 'married'. And she said no, were just cheating on each others spouses.

I didn't think anything of it, but she kept coming back to that, saying things like 'My husband would do this or that', I can't remember the exact wording. After a couple times, I played along and started with the 'My wife' things. During this time, our public flirting with each other became a little more daring, so to speak.

After the few hours of running we did, we came home and I popped in an adult DVD, something we don't watch on a regular basis, and things went from there. It was some of the best sex we'd had in a long time. She'd even commented later in the day that her knees were still weak.

It continued at bed time, before my shower that night, I asked her what the odd were of getting a bj when I was done with my shower. She just gave me a look of 'wait and see'. It ended in a fantastic orgasm for me.

Obviously, the 'cheating' aspect has nothing to do with swinging, but the 'fantasy' part could, correct? Was this an impromptu act on her part, saying something and them kept playing with it as fun? Or could it be a testing step for her, to see my reaction?

Confusion will reign, as I seem to overthink everything.

[sereneiders]

That's caller "roleplay a fantasy" in my book, and it is a great thing. You're giving yourselves and each other a place where to do "as if" you were other people, much like when you was a kid, able to mount a couple of chairs and do "as if" that were your car, remember?

Games are very valuable tools to learn, both as kids and as adults, because they allow us to gather experiences in a safe environment about things that, otherwise, could be risky.

Now, look at this from this point of view. Your wife played as if she were "the other" woman, a supposedly lover you have behind her back. Only it's she, and it is safe, and that gave her an insight on how you'd behave with another woman. For example, you could start complaining about "your wife", or show her another face she didn't know, or as happened, give each other a great time without showing to her any unloyal attitude towards "your wife". And the same happened to you.

The "cheating game" was an excuse enabing this "test case" scenario, it doesn't means neither of you actually plan to cheat.

So, this is a step in the right direction... or a workaround able to provide you two another direction to follow that doesn't involves swinging. The more facets you know about each other, morover if they divert from the facets you use to show to, and look from each other, the more confidence you will have about what to expect when facing an eventual unwanted scenario.

It's common to see people with a naive perception about the outcome from swinging. The "willing" one try to convince the other by giving answers about how much fun it would be. That's easy. The REAL questions to ask have to do with your fears, with the unwanted scenarios, because it isn't a matter of "what if" they happen, but "when" they would happen. So those games can provide a great insight about this.

Anyway, I'd suggest you to forget about swinging and enjoy this, or you may risk to miss something and remain in another page than the one your wife is.

So, yes... stop thinking for a while!