Dealing With Guilt

[youngswingers]

Mehim,

Our way of dealing with people we don't really like (or annoy the hell out of us) is to be super nice. We just make sure to avoid prolonged interaction and definitely make sure that when we're swinging they are not in the same room! Sorry you have to deal with that!

[Quin]

Gotta go with what Lori said, mehim. Go, enjoy yourself, and have a great time. I always try to stay as far away from problem people as I can...when you intertwine with them, then that sets up an unstability in your life and it's very hard to get that unstability to equal out again. Hope I wrote that so that it's understandable. We all have things that we can't control within our lives that set our lives into an unstable mode...why bring or even acknowledge people who are going to bring that to your life.

Myself, if it was me, if anything was said by them...well, my nose would get stuck up in the air and I would just walk on by. Be the bigger person, you're so much better and it's beneath you to stoop to their level!

Quin

[OhioCouple]

quote:

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Originally posted by Runningman:

Lastly, I'd like to thank Quinn and Ohiocouple for their warm welcome. I have to say I was honestly surprised that find people open-minded enough to accept a differing viewpoint on this board, and I don't mean that as a slam on anyone. I just never expected it.

-RM

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Runningman,

First off you ARE welcome. Secondly, it is refreshing to hear a point of view which comes across in a considerate manner from someone who does not entertain the swinging lifestyle. As I have said before, this board covers every aspect of life, not just swinging. There is something here for every body whether they are single, married, coupled, bi-sexual, religious, not religious....well the list could go on and on. We welcome you to the board and look forward to hearing your point of view. Perhaps you should go to the Introduction portion of the board and introduce yourself.

Lori

[OhioCouple]

quote:

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Originally posted by Quin:
, Be the bigger person, you're so much better and it's beneath you to stoop to their level!

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Good point Quin, well said and good advice.

Lori

[JustAskJulie]

quote:

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Originally posted by Runningman:

I was merely trying to suggest to L/D one possible source of their guilt. Perhaps they're not the type to be swinging either but insist upon it anyway.

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Unfortunately, I have a feeling you are right on the money there. They aren't the first tho, and won't be the last.

Swinging definately isn't for everyone, now if only everyone who wanted to swing would realize that.

Hello to all that have read this thread. This is my first time posting to this board. I did have a user name and password however, my computer crashed and i had to start all over....and who would really believe the dog ate it story.

After reading many of your items and comments not only on this thread but others, I felt I had to reply....at least to this one.

My wife and I have a ministry and our Christians. The basis of our ministry is to help those that have fallen along the way. Fallen can be any number of things or problems such as drugs, sex, violence and a host of others.

In this post we hope not to thump, browbeat, throw fire, judge, or try to convert anyone. We would just like to present this issue from a different perspective in hopes of bringing a new awareness on the issue of swinging.

First:
A Biblical perspective. To completely understand the Bible, which Christians believe to be the written word of God, one cannot just take a verse from any chapter and put it to use to satisfy a point that is trying to be made. An example is scripture states that the Lord will help those who help themselves, so now I am going to rob a bank and "help" myself to this money, or an eye for an eye so now I will kill your dog because you killed mine. Rather, a study of scripture is incorporated from different verses to lead us to a single solution.

The Ten Commandments were written for Moses to be given to the Israelites who had fallen from grace. The two we can use for this post are, Thou Shalt not Commit Adultery, and Thou Shalt not Covet thy Neighbor's wife.

Webster's dictionary(Riveside edition II) defines adultery as the act of voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse.
Covet is to feel envious desire for(that which is another's).
Guilt: remorseful awareness of having done something wrong.

If one is involved in the lifestyle, then one is guilty of breaking these two commandments. By our own language, we acknowledge what adultery is. We break the covet when we first look at another's wife with desire. Jesus clearly said on His discourse on the Mount that he who looks at another woman with lust has already comitted adultery in his heart. Jesus further gave a list of other sins deeming us unworthy to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven, idolatry, fornication(intercourse between two unmarried people), prostitutes, and a host of others. If we look at these, the all relate to sex.....outside the marriage.

Guilt: We can have guilt for a whole array of reasons. A pet gets run over by a car and dies,(it was my fault for not keeping my dog tied up). I had an affair, I cheated on my final exam, i stole something. Guilt comes to us when we have an internal conflict with ouselves. It is our own security alarm that gets activated when we do something that we know we shouldn't be doing. It is also how the Lord speaks to us. The Lord speaks to us in so many different ways, through our emotions, through others, and through events.

What does all this lead to? If you are experiencing guilt, as stated by many, find out why the guilt is there. Talk, share your thoughts and then pray on it. Even Jesus who walked on water prayed. In the desert, in the garden, and while hanging on the cross, His last few breaths were in prayer. I would not talk to a plumber about an electrical problem nor would I see a carpenter about a transmission leak...prayer changes things.

If you have true feelings and need help, we are here for you. With the moderator's permission, email us a muffinmug@yahoo.com. If we have a friend, and he/she was an addicted to drugs, would we want them to get help? If alcohol was the problem, would we want them to have rehab? Of course we would. Sex is also an addiction....it is a bigger problem than any other social illnesses. Pronography, internet, magazines all add to the addiction. We would like to say that if one is unable to help themselves, we are here for you. Please, do not hesitate to let us know.

We would like to say thank you for your time. We hope that this has been a help to you. Guilt is a good thing but also can drag us down if we let it. May God Richly Bless you all.

Richard and Debora

[walrus0115]

quote:

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Originally posted by <muffinmug>:
First:
A Biblical perspective. To completely understand the Bible, which Christians believe to be the written word of God, one cannot just take a verse from any chapter and put it to use to satisfy a point that is trying to be made. An example is scripture states that the Lord will help those who help themselves, so now I am going to rob a bank and "help" myself to this money, or an eye for an eye so now I will kill your dog because you killed mine. Rather, a study of scripture is incorporated from different verses to lead us to a single solution.

The Ten Commandments were written for Moses to be given to the Israelites who had fallen from grace. The two we can use for this post are, Thou Shalt not Commit Adultery, and Thou Shalt not Covet thy Neighbor's wife.

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Aren't you simply taking those two commandments out of context to satisfy your point? Remember it is the church that holds the ten commandments above the rest of the old testament. Not the bible itself. If we are to read the old scripture as a whole an entirely different message will present itself. "Be honest and be kind." This is the message of the bible. Old and new testament.

I also noticed that you said that you have your own ministry. May I take that to mean that you are not Catholic?

If so remember that as a consequence of your ministry you are breaking the first commandment as interperted by the original Christian church. "You shall have no other gods before me." As Constantine saved Rome and laid the groundwork for modern Christianity the church came to regard deviation from it's teachings as a sin against the first commandment. If Jesus ordained Peter to be his church on earth, then rejection of Peter's church is rejection of God.

As a recovering Catholic, I always find it convenient that protestants often are the most literal and fundamental acolytes of Biblical verse when by their very testament they reject the church that Jesus created. So I say that if you get to pick and choose what parts of the Bible to follow and what parts of Christian dogma to follow then the rest of us should be allowed the same.

Submitted after 5,295 masses as an altar boy and Serra Knight of Arinagour.

[OhioCouple]

quote:

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Originally posted by <muffinmug>:
Hello to all that have read this thread. This is my first time posting to this board. I did have a user name and password however, my computer crashed and i had to start all over....and who would really believe the dog ate it story.

After reading many of your items and comments not only on this thread but others, I felt I had to reply....at least to this one.

My wife and I have a ministry and our Christians. The basis of our ministry is to help those that have fallen along the way. Fallen can be any number of things or problems such as drugs, sex, violence and a host of others.

In this post we hope not to thump, browbeat, throw fire, judge, or try to convert anyone. We would just like to present this issue from a different perspective in hopes of bringing a new awareness on the issue of swinging.

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<muffinmug>

I had to chuckle at who would believe the dog ate it story. That is so true, my third grade teacher was so much wiser than I.

Your opinion are welcome, as is all opinions that are expressed on this board.

I think though that you can email Julie and she can help you with getting your original screen name and password back for you.

You are welcome to read thru this board and post your opinions as we do not discriminate against anyone. This board revolves around everyday life not just sexual issues. I am sure you will find plenty of good reading and perhaps you may learn something that may assist you in your own personal life. You do not have to be a swinger to be here, we have many that are not.

The only thing I kindly ask tho, is when you reply to a post (and we want you to) just be sure to reply to the question at hand and not give a sermon. Feel free to offer your advice, opinions and post your email address should someone like to discuss it further with you. (This was not an attempt to flame or discourage you from becoming a part of the community as you were obviously a part of it before your computer crashed.)

Please check with Julie about re-instating your screen name and your password.

Lori