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Thread: Family Guilt

  1. #1
    Swingers Board Addict starlinn's Avatar
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    Default Family Guilt

    I have never hidden the fact that I believe in God. Today I am having some moral issues because of what is going on. My 7 week old grandson was rushed to the hospital because of his oxegen level. He is now being taken to Riley's Hospital, because they cannot figure out what is going on. I have my 2 year old grandaughter with me, because my daughter just doesn't trust anyone else. Since I am here, I am manning the phone. My daughter has a church family, and she has called her pastor to put her son on the prayer list. I have received about 5 calls asking how the baby is, do they know what is causing his lack of oxegen etc... and each time they say, we will pray for your family. After the last call I hung up and thought to myself, wow, prayers wont work because nana and papa swing. I dont know why this thought came so suddenly, but when it did, I had to sit down. I thought about it, tried to get the thought out of my head, but I cant. Would love some suggestions here. Has anyone ever dealt with this kind of guilt??
    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. ~Author Unknown

  2. #2
    Oh...Why not?... DBL D's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family Guilt

    Have you ever heard that saying, "church isn't a hotel for saints, it's a hospital for sinners."?

    If you believe in God, you are sure to have those moments. Prayer is not reserved, nor is God's answer, for the "saved". We've all sinned and come up short. If you feel like praying, by all means do so.

    Male D
    "Just nod if you can hear me..."

    David Gilmour

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    Canadian, eh? intuition897's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family Guilt

    Dito to Male D! There are plenty of Christians here, too. And although many of us still struggle to reconcile our faith and our lifestyle choices, some of us have done it successfully. I think anyone who was raised going to church and then adopted swinging as a lifestyle has had to deal with guilt of this kind. Write off that thought as something planted in your mind by a less-than-helpful spirit; what better opportunity than this to find a chink in the armor and chip away at your faith? Don't know if you believe in that sort of thing, but I do.

    As Male D said above, we've all fallen short of glory. None of us can help sinning. All we can do is the best we can while we're here. And frankly, I think God's got bigger things on His Mind than your sex life. I really doubt He cares as much about the sexual habits of humans as we've been led to believe. I think He's more concerned about why we do what we do, and whether or not we're living morally and ethically.

    The prayers are for the baby, and have very little to do with you. Just add to them, and realize that God loves you just as much as He ever did; your own prayers are worth no less than anyone else's.
    Fear is a symptom of ignorance. Knowledge is the cure.

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    Swingers Board Addict Vespertine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family Guilt

    I sent you a PM.
    Ves

    The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral.

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    Here to Stay SamIAm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family Guilt

    I am very moved by what you all have to say. I too have had the same thoughts about prayers not working and following in GOD plan, questing if swinging is right or wrong! I get lost; not knowing what we do is wrong or right! I know God forgives us for our sins, but is swinging a sin if you are still with the person you love? I don't know! Well, I just felt like saying something about this. Maybe we will get some more insight in this subject?

    Thanks

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    Thumbs up Re: Family Guilt

    Quote Originally Posted by starlinn
    I have never hidden the fact that I believe in God. Today I am having some moral issues because of what is going on. My 7 week old grandson was rushed to the hospital because of his oxegen level. He is now being taken to Riley's Hospital, because they cannot figure out what is going on. I have my 2 year old grandaughter with me, because my daughter just doesn't trust anyone else. Since I am here, I am manning the phone. My daughter has a church family, and she has called her pastor to put her son on the prayer list. I have received about 5 calls asking how the baby is, do they know what is causing his lack of oxegen etc... and each time they say, we will pray for your family. After the last call I hung up and thought to myself, wow, prayers wont work because nana and papa swing. I dont know why this thought came so suddenly, but when it did, I had to sit down. I thought about it, tried to get the thought out of my head, but I cant. Would love some suggestions here. Has anyone ever dealt with this kind of guilt??
    The only bad sex is the sex never enjoyed, God made sex he new what he was doing~ Freud

  7. #7
    Here to Stay JnG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family Guilt

    Quote Originally Posted by starlinn
    After the last call I hung up and thought to myself, wow, prayers wont work because nana and papa swing.
    The way I see it, a god that would hold a child - in infant - responsible for the so-called "sins" of a grand-parent isn't the type of benevolent god that would even listen to or answer prayers anyhow.

    Then again, (as an atheist) it has always been beyond my comprehension how a benevolent god could let bad things happen to little kids in the first place, but that's just me.

    In any case, I wish you and your grand-son the best...
    -
    J from JnG

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    Chimpin' Ain't Easy Spoomonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family Guilt

    Quote Originally Posted by starlinn
    After the last call I hung up and thought to myself, wow, prayers wont work because nana and papa swing.
    Fortunately, God is not as petty as many who claim to follow him

    Bad things happen to good people - and even the most righteous people lost children (see the book of Job). Unfortunately, we are taught to find meaning or a moral lesson in everything that happens - and I just don't think this is practical or sane. Some times, things just simply happen and it is not a condemnation of our lives, but a test of our faith. God is not punishing us for being imperfect (if, in fact, one believes that swinging makes them imperfect, which I do not). Rather He is testing the one area in our lives that we do control - our trust in Him.

    Not just our trust that He will heal - but often our trust that somehow senseless things fit into His greater plan.

    I really believe that it is often our selfishness that causes us to look at ourselves when bad things are happening to others. When something terrible happens to family/loved ones, we think that it has to do with us - we did something or we are the ones who need to do something. It is motivated by your love, but it is selfishness, turning our thoughts in the wrong direction, and ultimately not helpful to your loved ones.

    Focus your faith and energy in the right direction - towards your grandchild. That is where it will do the most good.

    Faith, hope, love...

    Those are three great things that you can exercise and experience right now.

    Spoomonkey
    Last edited by Spoomonkey; 07-29-2005 at 06:04 PM.
    "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

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    Default Re: Family Guilt

    Quote Originally Posted by SamIAm
    I am very moved by what you all have to say. I too have had the same thoughts about prayers not working and following in GOD plan, questing if swinging is right or wrong! I get lost; not knowing what we do is wrong or right! I know God forgives us for our sins, but is swinging a sin if you are still with the person you love? I don't know! Well, I just felt like saying something about this. Maybe we will get some more insight in this subject?

    Thanks

    AHHH........a quandry. What to do, what to do? I ponder this myself. oddly enough my faith in intelligent design comes from the theory of evolution, and not from the corrupted scriptures of man. I see intelligent design all around us. There is just more to biological diversity than the theory of evolution allows. So who is the designer? Who cares?, but it seems to be part of the design that monogamy is rewarded by being disease free, and sex with multiple partners is punished within the design with disease and sometimes death, and as soon as we lick (pardon the pun) one disease, it mutates and becomes nastier and more resistant than before. It seems the designer would prefer us to be monagamous. What ever, it probably won't stop me should we decide to swing. I think we take death and disease to seriously whats a few years of possible suffering compared to the many years of pleasure swinging with many partners. I say go for it. We'll be along presently. We just keep procrastinating.

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    Care to join us??? jennandjamesinm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family Guilt

    Starlinn -

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. Please keep us up to date with any developments. (HUGS)

    Jenn and James
    "Swinging is the women's amusement park, and men are just along for the thrill ride." ~ James

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    Here to Stay Daddy'sGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family Guilt

    Holding your grandchild in O/our prayers.

  12. #12
    Swingers Board Addict M&B's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family Guilt

    Quote Originally Posted by Spoomonkey
    Fortunately, God is not as petty as many who claim to follow him

    Bad things happen to good people - and even the most righteous people lost children (see the book of Job). Unfortunately, we are taught to find meaning or a moral lesson in everything that happens - and I just don't think this is practical or sane. Some times, things just simply happen and it is not a condemnation of our lives, but a test of our faith. God is not punishing us for being imperfect (if, in fact, one believes that swinging makes them imperfect, which I do not). Rather He is testing the one area in our lives that we do control - our trust in Him.

    Not just our trust that He will heal - but often our trust that somehow senseless things fit into His greater plan.

    I really believe that it is often our selfishness that causes us to look at ourselves when bad things are happening to others. When something terrible happens to family/loved ones, we think that it has to do with us - we did something or we are the ones who need to do something. It is motivated by your love, but it is selfishness, turning our thoughts in the wrong direction, and ultimately not helpful to your loved ones.

    Focus your faith and energy in the right direction - towards your grandchild. That is where it will do the most good.

    Faith, hope, love...

    Those are three great things that you can exercise and experience right now.

    Spoomonkey
    Sir, that is unquestionably the best expression of what faith is about and what His ways are that I have ever read or heard.

    Starlinn, please take Spoo's words to heart. I am so sorry about your pain. Keep the prayers focused on the child.
    EGBOK!

  13. #13
    Swingers Board Addict starlinn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family Guilt

    I really believe that it is often our selfishness that causes us to look at ourselves when bad things are happening to others. When something terrible happens to family/loved ones, we think that it has to do with us - we did something or we are the ones who need to do something. It is motivated by your love, but it is selfishness, turning our thoughts in the wrong direction, and ultimately not helpful to your loved ones.
    Thank you spoo!! This made me realize that instead of being thankful for all I have, I was focusing on something I had no control over, yet, blaming myself for it. Everything here posted has helped me. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. UPDATE: Baby made it to Rileys fine, and I am more content that he is in better hands there. Oxegen level is at 72, was at 60 this morning. He is in an oxegen tent, and they are giving him medication. I am 2.5 hours away and not very content that I cannot be there with my family. 2 year old grandaughter is here with me. I know that it is better that she be here with me then in the hands of people she doesnt really know.
    I never intended for this thread to become a religious issue. I just wondered if swinging ever came between you and your faith. I truely believe that a relationship with God is important, but believing in God does not mean that you cannot be prosperous, enjoy your life, and benefit from the things that God has provided. At the time that I posted this, It was pretty overwhelming, as I thought that there was no way that God would hear the prayers for a grandchild of a swinging couple. Thanks again to all who have wished the best for him.
    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. ~Author Unknown

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    Default Re: Family Guilt

    *bookmarked for personal reading*

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    Default Re: Family Guilt

    God let people do their own will because we are his children. he judges those who do ill to others. death and evil are a part of life. good and kindness are also. you have a choice of all you do. love of each other is paramount weather it be in mind or physical as long as no pain or hurt, faithfulness in heart to ones partner and one stelf and loving is always paramount. Do no evil is not a new term in these times, it is a lifestyle.
    Giving sensual love to each other is not evil as long as faithfulness in heart is kept in your relasionships. none are ounished for the sins of the fathers

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