Then the playdar went beep..beep

[K&JIntimates]

I have single female friend that I've known for the last year and a half. We're pretty comfortable with each other and our kids play together on a regular basis. Over the last year I've had a couple of times when my 'playdar' has given a little bleep with her. Usually by something that she's said or a feeling that there is just something there that I couldn't quite put my finger on. You know what I'm talking about?

Today we went out for coffee and were just talking, usual stuff, and she started talking about wanting to go to an event for a "meet & greet". I haven't been around too much to social events in the vanilla world but I've never heard this term used in any other format than swinging. So I asked her if she'd ever been to a meet and greet before. It might have been the way I said it but her body language and expression was kind of like omg did I say that? She didn't know about K and I and it was a reasonable response.

She's very open minded and our relationship is good so I came out to her that K and I swing and had been to a M&G before. Come to find out that my friend, back in the days before she was married (and subsequently divorced) had led a very 'open' lifestyle. Interesting isn't it? *BEEP* *BEEP*

When I told her that K and I swing and the parameters of our interactions with others she told me she had suspected something of the kind. So I invited her to come out with us some time to the club to enjoy an evening of dancing, a little wine, and (if she met someone she was interested in) a little play. She said she'd like to, just not right now. It's a busy time for everyone and I know that she's got some complications with her ex right now so I left it at an open invite. But that's also why I invited her, a little adult down time is sometimes just what you need.

Her and I both really enjoy and respect our friendship (and that of our boys) and while we briefly discussed the possibility of a play date of the three of us we both decided that it is just that....a possibility. Why screw up a good thing? On the other hand, if our friendship takes a turn in that direction down the road it will (or will not) happen of its own accord.

[LFM2]

Thanks for sharing that.

[JustAskJulie]

Evidently her playdar was going "beep beep" too, and thus the little slip. Perhaps subconsciously she wanted to out herselves to you feeling that you would be open to the idea.

[knb2004]

I don't really know if I'd call that a slip, almost anyone who would recognize the term would be at least somewhat lifestyle friendly. A true vanilla wouldn't make the connection. Kinda like a code word.

The Mrs and I talked about that a few days ago. We were out for dinner and saw 2 couples at a table across the restaurant. The arrived separately, and based on what little we heard of their conversation were just getting to know each other. Both of our playdars went off, and we were both fairly convinced we were looking at 2 swinging couples doing the "dance".

The next day I commented that perhaps I should have approached them, and asked, "Pardon me folks, do the letters S-L-S mean anything to you?"

Swingers would immediately get it, vanillas would just look at us like we were a bit odd.

[two4youinswva]

Cool exchange!


Does your Playdar really go "Beep Beep"? Because ours sounds more like a vibrator buzzing.
- - - Probably a different manufacturer.

[K&JIntimates]

Originally Posted by knb2004

I don't really know if I'd call that a slip, almost anyone who would recognize the term would be at least somewhat lifestyle friendly. A true vanilla wouldn't make the connection. Kinda like a code word.

That was what I thought when she said it. I figured I'd take a chance and see what developed. I guess I'll find out in the days ahead if the topic comes up again.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Boy, you guys sent me to the dictionary to look that one up.

From the Urban Dictionary, Playdar: the radar that detects players almost like a 6th sense.

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple

Boy, you guys sent me to the dictionary to look that one up.

From the Urban Dictionary, Playdar: the radar that detects players almost like a 6th sense.

How and when "Playdar" was first mentioned on Swingersboard.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

How and when "Playdar" was first mentioned on Swingersboard.

Wow. Playdar, gaydar. Makes me think there ought to be a Trivial Pursuit Swingers Edition.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by knb2004

The next day I commented that perhaps I should have approached them, and asked, "Pardon me folks, do the letters S-L-S mean anything to you?"

Swingers would immediately get it, vanillas would just look at us like we were a bit odd.

We were at a wine tasting tonight and saw 3 couples that we both found attractive and actually talked to two of them. At one point when we were alone Pet asked me if we should go up to them and ask them if they were members of Swing Lifestyle. I was like "I don't think so". His response was, well if they didn't know what it was, what would it hurt?

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by knb2004

The next day I commented that perhaps I should have approached them, and asked, "Pardon me folks, do the letters S-L-S mean anything to you?"

Swingers would immediately get it, vanillas would just look at us like we were a bit odd.

That would have been perfect I'll have to remember that if we're ever in a similar situation.

[MrkLin]

This thread has got me thinking that I need to get some of the Swing Lifestyle mini buttons and wear them to places where my t-shirt isn't appropriate. Then again, this is assuming that people know what the Swing Lifestyle logo is. I mean, not every lifestyle couple is online, let alone an Swing Lifestyle member...

Maybe I'm just to eager to read something into the most innocent of situations, but my playdar goes off at work probably a dozen times a week. I work with the public, and interact with customers constantly. Sometimes during the most innocent,"Howdy! How are you folks doing this evening?" conversation, I get the feeling that this lady, or couple, is looking for more than a couple of drinks to have a good time...

[amid]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

We were at a wine tasting tonight and saw 3 couples that we both found attractive and actually talked to two of them. At one point when we were alone Pet asked me if we should go up to them and ask them if they were members of Swing Lifestyle. I was like "I don't think so". His response was, well if they didn't know what it was, what would it hurt?

Many fraternities and sororities, other groups have some sort of "High" sign.. whether it be a secret grip when shaking hands or some other tell that would only be known by "brothers" or "sisters" or fellow members of the Lodge/group. I have been thinking that there should be a code or tip off.. why doesn't someone think one up and get it started!

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by amid

.. why doesn't someone think one up and get it started!

Read here for answer: why don't we have a symbol for SWINGER

[VanHlebar]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

We were at a wine tasting tonight and saw 3 couples that we both found attractive and actually talked to two of them. At one point when we were alone Pet asked me if we should go up to them and ask them if they were members of Swing Lifestyle. I was like "I don't think so". His response was, well if they didn't know what it was, what would it hurt?

This is exactly how we met a great couple. MrsVan and I where at our favorite bar listening to a band. This couple walked in and as they walked to the bar, all four of us made eye contact. Just your usual bar type and I thought nothing of it. Then it clicked and I realized that I knew them from someplace. I told MrsVan that and she said she didn't recognize them at all. They kept looking at us and smiling and finally after about 10 minutes the husband motions me over. So I went over to them and he was like, I think we "know" you two. At first I played it off like I wasn't sure what he was talking about and then he mentioned something in one of our pictures on a site, that nobody else would have known and well it has been great since then.

I never have been able to just ask someone like that, but I sure was glad that he did...

-Van