first time, was great, but now i have questions

[Alexxander]

We finally did it!

It was great; we had lots of fun, and almost no issues.
I won’t go into unnecessary details here, but I do want to ask you people 2 specific questions:

First, is there is such thing as a “half” swinger?... you see, we did enjoy our play, we do want to repeat again, but we are really not interested in calling it our “lifestyle”, pursuing couples all the time, and we, also don’t have the sexual drive that real swingers have… the swingers we met are pure sex machines (in a good way of course) . So how do we approach this?

And this leaves to another question; before this first time, I was making various contacts with other couples, like 4 of them, and we all agreed on meeting with them, but have not done that yet. Now that our first time is over, we do want to get some rest, but I have all this people calling to meet us, and like I said, we already agreed to meet them, the only thing left to agree on, was the specific day… and now I don’t know how to tell all this other couples that we need some rest.

First I am concerned that we are going to be tacked for a false couple, or a rude couple. Second, we do want to keep contact with these other couples for the future, we just want some rest for now, but since we already “promised” them that we are going to meet them soon, I don’t think they are going to believe me when if I tell them that we just want some rest, I that we will meet latter. Now I am in trouble.

Lets see If I can get some suggestions here, what would be your reaction if you where this couple that have even talked on the phone, and agreed to meet and everything, and now suddenly I tell you that I need some rest. And we are talking about the “first meet”, not about any obligation to play or anything.

I hope that I made my self clear, my English is getting worst everyday, here in Paraguay most of the people don’t speak any English.

Thanks in advance.

And we did have a blast!!! Wooo Hoooo facelick

[tribbles]

Did you agree to do more than just meet them to be social?

Just meeting doesn't mean you have to be sexual with them.

Glad you had fun!!

[Alexxander]

We have not agreed to anything more than just social meeting. But we really don’t have even the energy to socially meet more “new” people right now.

We just had an “overload” on meeting new people, and we are really shy.
So, we are just not feeling comfortable right now to do any more meetings with anyone for any reason.

And the other problem I see, is the possibility that we may meet people that we do have chemistry for, so a follow up may be expected. And if we don’t make the follow up, we could lose good possible future contacts. I should also clarify, that there is not much swingers around here, and that many of them know each other.
So what should we do?

Just meet them even if we are tired and not really comfortable right now?
And then don’t do any more follow-ups with anyone?
Is this the right way to approach this “situation”?

What about the “50% swinger couple”? Do any of you also feel like the “lifestyle” thing is just too much, and not of your interest. But you still want to play from time to time?

[NakedInSeattle]

We also enjoy the fruits of this wonderful lifestyle but it is not all-consuming like some folks we know. We have a life outside swinging (volunteer work, the arts, etc.). Some of these we share with our swinging friends with, guess what..no swinging (sometimes).

You have to go at your pace. If you feel others are pushing, tell them that you are very selective and you savor the few meetings and happenings all the more because of it.

We feel parties are the best way to see a large bunch of people on fewer occasions. Does that make sense? When at a party, you don't have to play with everybody but you are still keeping contact, flirting, and enjoying each other's company.

You two sound like you're doing things for all the right reasons. Good luck.

[prettylady]

Being in the lifestyle doesn't mean that you HAVE to swing everyweekend, We only require you to swing every OTHER weekend.
Just kidding of course.

Seriously, This is not a committment, it is just something fun to do. I love to golf, I only get to do it maybe 2x a summer. But I still concider myself a recreational golfer. Two years ago I golfed most everyweekend this past year only once.

I may not be as comfortable or experienced as other golfers, but I still love to do it and that is why people enjoy golfing with me. I just have fun.
Same with swinging, if you make it something you feel you have to do, the fun aspect will be lost. No one wants to play with someone who is no fun.

If these couples don't understand your need to let the first experience sink in for awhile then they may not be people you want to engage with. After my first time I needed a little while to realize what I just did. It was fantastic, fun, a learning experience, all the good stuff rolled up into a chocolate dipped strawberry. But it was still overwhelming. I just did what I was told was wrong for 34 years of my life.

Don't worry about taking a break, do what you need to do. My break was short, I was comfortable with my first experience, good friends, good sex, good food, good nights sleep to boot.
You may not need much time to recover, but then again, if you need a lifetime take a lifetime. It is your happiness you need to worry about not others.
But be polite and tell them how you feel.
I hope everything goes well
Your friend,
Prettylady

[Mr. Truelove]

You sound a lot like us. Taking it really slow, but really enjoying the friendships that we've already created.

Just be honest with them about your feelings. If it were me I would truly appreciate you being honest with me. And well, if I didn't understand, that would be my problem.

Mr. Truelove

[curiousagain]

Dito to what Prettylady wrote. Some people swing every week and some once a year, and most everybody varies depending on their mood and what else is going on in their life. Just be yourself, explain, if they don't want or aren't able to understand, it's probably for the best.