Pack Dogs & the Unicorn

[Tia Vampire]

That is why i think i'm going to like the swinger clubs. No one want to lose out in going, so they conduct thenselves in a appropriate manner. There is nothing like being able to have your cake and eat it too. The clubs have become a place full of direspective a**holes, especially the drunk men. I hate being grabbed on and persistant people.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Tia Vampire

That is why i think i'm going to like the swinger clubs. No one want to lose out in going, so they conduct thenselves in a appropriate manner. There is nothing like being able to have your cake and eat it too. The clubs have become a place full of direspective a**holes, especially the drunk men. I hate being grabbed on and persistant people.

This was a swing club.

Spoomonkey

[GotBatteries?]

Yeah.
We went to one M & G and that is what it was like. Everyone was so much older (must be our area) and we were new and the whole entire experience totally skeeved me out.
Neither Mr or I likes to feel like we are focal points, so feeling like we have meat strapped to our backs in a room full of dogs sucks and really kills our moods.

[DRxDON]

HI! I'm one of those neatly categorized "Dreaded Single Men"...though I'm really not 'dreaded' . I'm sorry for your experience and that of your two friends, but I can't help feeling a bit of 'vindication' here. It seems that all couples talk about how awful single guys are in such places. But here we have a situation where I'll bet a lot of those very same couples, who speak badly about single men, act in the same predatory manner toward 'Unicorns' or single women of whatever persuasion. I'm certainly not lumping all couples into such a category and I'm sure that the more 'predatory' couples and single guys can be found at clubs, especially on-premises ones. But it does seem that there is a lot of hypocracy in the Lifestyle. A few *nice* couples that I've met have told me so themselves. Whenever I may make such a remark, I get pounced upon by couples who talk about how the Lifestyle is all about making caring friendships, etc. and that, because of remarks like I made, that is why they hate single men. BOLDERDASH!

I was 'used' by the guy part of a couple in a very nasty deceptive way; and he just laughed it off like it was nothing and said "everybody does stuff like that, get used to it!" He pretended to be his wife in online chat and 'lured' me to a club. When I get there, his wife didn't even know who I was; she told me to "get lost; I'm into girls, honey". The guy told me that he was tired of his wife picking up women; that they rarely 'shared'. He wanted a MFM and thought that maybe if she met me at a club, she might go for it. Well, needless to say, that spoiled my night! I have to say, though, that this was the only time that something so blatantly 'evil' happened to me at a club. Most times I just flirt and if a couple is interested I wait for them to make the first move. Most were still friendly even if not interested, though I must admit that a number of them were VERY blunt about telling me to 'go away' as soon as said my first words. ...and those first words weren't anything like "wanna fuck?".

Good luck in the future,
Don

[GotBatteries?]

Originally Posted by DRxDON

I'll bet a lot of those very same couples, who speak badly about single men, act in the same predatory manner toward 'Unicorns' or single women of whatever persuasion.

I would agree.

[She_n_Jaybee]

The obvious purple monkey gloating aside, good topic. I've seen it from single men, and at times, when single wished I had the 'nads to join the feeding frenzy that I also despised. We've seen it from couples and have been the meat a time or two. So far we've resisted the urge to join the hovering throng.

If you've never been to a swing club visit at least once before deciding how the patrons behave. She and I have visited 5 clubs in the past year and each was different. The two clubs that allow single men we saw the majority exhibiting this behaviour. After our one visit, we figured out that one had been up front in telling us that we and every other couple were expected to be meat. "You're coming here to play, with others, not watch." We haven't been back.

At one of the other 3 clubs, we were filet mignon amongst a crowd of ground chuck. The crowd tended to be older, heavier and physically less attractive than we've experienced elsewhere. They were also the friendliest group we've ever met, so the feeding frenzy was very restrained and polite. The other two couples only clubs (single women always welcome) aren't as bad. After the gorgeous new couple has their tour, several couples will make their way over, usually one at a time, and make introductions. Have yet to see the swarm. Then again, have yet to see two young gorgeous women come in solo.

[DRxDON]

Originally Posted by She_n_Jaybee

The obvious purple monkey gloating aside, good topic. I've seen it from single men, and at times, when single wished I had the 'nads to join the feeding frenzy that I also despised. We've seen it from couples and have been the meat a time or two. So far we've resisted the urge to join the hovering throng.

If you've never been to a swing club visit at least once before deciding how the patrons behave. She and I have visited 5 clubs in the past year and each was different. The two clubs that allow single men we saw the majority exhibiting this behaviour. After our one visit, we figured out that one had been up front in telling us that we and every other couple were expected to be meat. "You're coming here to play, with others, not watch." We haven't been back.

I never knew that couples got 'pounced upon" by other couples. I guess it's just how each couple views what being 'forward' means. I've been to several clubs in my area, most times as a single male, once with a 'date' and a few times with a girlfriend...as a real couple. I've never noticed any difference in the way I was treated, except that *most* couples were, of course, a lot more open and at ease when I was with someone. All of the clubs that I went to were on-premises clubs, but most people, singles and couples alike, came to watch and just make friends for later meetings. Actually, I was quite shocked to find out that most of the 'players' were single men and women who had hooked up that night!

Most clubs either allow only a limited number of single men in, or more often, only have special nights when single men are allowed in. If you are uncomfortable with single men, find out from the club if they have only special nights when single men are allowed and avoid those nights. Some clubs allow a few single men regularly but still have special nights when single men are actually encouraged to come. Those nights are good for single men and good for couples looking for MFM play, (and single ladies who like guys...there are more at clubs than you think), otherwise, make sure you don't go to the club on THOSE nights!

Don

[She_n_Jaybee]

I probably should have qualified this before. All 5 of the clubs are on-premise. The "You're here to play club allowed "a few select single men". Every time we went into the back for our usual just us warm-ups, they all were close behind, hovering. We enjoy being watched (and have received several extremely complimentary remarks), but there is a different feel to being watched by a couple or by a woman, compared to a group of single men. Many of the men are like jackals, they circle the lion, wanting to join the feast, but are afraid to get too close. Some will timidly venture to join and if not reprimanded soon all will crowd in. Several years ago, at a club I often attended as a single male (Friday nights), I observed this way too many times. A couple would start playing in a public area, several men (myself included) would watch from a distance, 5 - 10 ft. Soon several more men would gather and a ring would form around the couple, gradually growing smaller. At this point I'm outside the ring, barely able to see the couple. The ring continues to shrink until the inside layer is within inches of the couple. A hand would tenatively reach out and touch the woman's arm, if no protest a few more hands quickly moving to less neutral locations. If still no protest, within seconds, it appears as if every man capable has at least one hand on her and the ring completely collapses on the couple. At this point the woman freaks out and, usually with her mate's help, makes a panicked escape. They leave the club and the men wander around in search of their next opportunity. And the men aren't entirely to blame. The couple should have taken charge of the situation from the start. Set the limits and maintain them, or pick the man (or men) they want and move off to a private room.

I haven't seen anything to this extreme at the clubs we have visited this past year, but I know the potential still exists. Our personal desires have no use for single men. We've found 2 clubs we really enjoy that don't allow single men, so that's where we spend our time.

If you are a single man who visits swingers clubs, I'm not saying you are like this. The fact you're here reading and commenting probably puts you in the top 20% of single men who visit swingers clubs. Unfortunately, many will judge you based on experiences like the one I described above. Couples do this too. We've had them move in and try to join without asking. It's usually one couple at a time, and we make a decision when it happens.

[DRxDON]

Originally Posted by She_n_Jaybee

Several years ago, at a club I often attended as a single male (Friday nights), I observed this way too many times. A couple would start playing in a public area, several men (myself included) would watch from a distance, 5 - 10 ft. Soon several more men would gather and a ring would form around the couple, gradually growing smaller. At this point I'm outside the ring, barely able to see the couple. The ring continues to shrink until the inside layer is within inches of the couple. A hand would tenatively reach out and touch the woman's arm, if no protest a few more hands quickly moving to less neutral locations. If still no protest, within seconds, it appears as if every man capable has at least one hand on her and the ring completely collapses on the couple. At this point the woman freaks out and, usually with her mate's help, makes a panicked escape. .

I'm sure what you describe happens at many clubs but, In my experience, the clubs that I attended had play rooms with glass windows. They were more or less open to whoever wanted to come in, including single men on those nights, but most everybody just watched from a 'safe' distance behind the glass. And though not strictly forbidden to enter without an invite, everyone(single males...couples aren't 'predatory' so you don't have to tell them... )was told by the management to be polite and just look and kind of wait to be 'signalled' inside. You could enter if you wanted but you were told don't 'gawk' or touch unless SPECIFICALLY invited. I've never seen any violations of this as in the unwanted 'group grope' that you describe. There were some 'special men'(bouncers) to take care of any situations that might develop. The kind of bad hehavior from single men that I saw quite often had to do with guys just feeling and grabbing women on the spot as they were watching outside. Also, guys 'hounding' a woman all night long that they had set their sights on earlier in the night. These were obviously people without any social skills. I don't like to stereotype people by their looks, but most of these looked like the stereotypical 'computer geek' who watches a lot of internet porn. LOL

Again, there is a subtle 'double standard' here. Though I can understand how most women feel in such situations, I could say that I was 'hounded' by a woman(part of a couple), but in a flirtatious way. She was secretly following me all around the club, but not talking to me. I'd just see her pop up next to me here and there wherever I went. She even pushed in front of a line in a game just to be next in line behind me. I'd turn around and there she was, turning her head ignoring me. I'd joke and say something like "haven't I seen you somewhere before?" or "do I know you?" She would say something like 'I don't know, do you know me?", with a wry grin. It was all done in a friendly flirtatious manner. She later introduced me to her husband and we became 'casual friends'.

My point is, how many women would call this sort of thing 'flirtatious' from a single guy no matter how 'nice' the guy was? Most women would call this "hounding' or harassment. It's a shame that a lot of single guys ruin things for the rest of us. I guess it's just the sad facts of life, but I just wanted my view heard.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by DRxDON

I never knew that couples got 'pounced upon" by other couples. I guess it's just how each couple views what being 'forward' means.

Man - does this ever happen...

And it is annoying as hell. Our problem is that we are nice to everyone. No one is someone we wouldn't talk to. And that tends to lead to our troubles.

It has happened a few times, but definitely the worst was a couple who we played pool with one night, not knowing that they were the dog you didn't want to pet. We couldn't get away from them. The wife was really, really hot - but the husband was just not...

They kept pulling me aside and telling me "tell my wife how much fun she'll have." etc. etc. Basically, they wanted me to sell my wife on a guy that she told me she wasn't attracted to. They were so incredibly persistent that I finally had to out and out tell them the fatal physical flaw that had so turned off Mrs Spoo.

Harsh - but they really left me no alternative as I had told them "no thank you" about a dozen times.

And even though I pulled no punches, explaining that Mrs Spoo would never play with him because she is not attracted to men who... They kept coming...

They did finally catch gravity with a couple who seemed to be into them both, so the night was somewhat spared. But the funny thing was - after that, they kept trying to rub it in our faces. It was chuckle inducing to say the least...

Yeah - couples and singles can be just as clingy. Our clingy experineces with couples have been worse by far than with singles - though that may be because we tend to be friendlier with couples who we are not interested in.

Spoomonkey

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

. They were so incredibly persistent that I finally had to out and out tell them the fatal physical flaw that had so turned off Mrs Spoo.

Harsh - but they really left me no alternative as I had told them "no thank you" about a dozen times.

And even though I pulled no punches, explaining that Mrs Spoo would never play with him because she is not attracted to men who... They kept coming...

Spoomonkey

Oh geez, you gotta tell us now.....who have less than ten teeth? Who wear glasses? Who have donelap's disease (when your belly done 'lapped over your pants)? Inquiring minds want to know???

Pepper