Are we normal?

[nccouple861]

My wife and I are interested in swinging. I have some general questions.

1. My wife is pickier than me.. Is the normal?
2. Should we do MMF, soft swap or full swap with a couple?
3. Is it normal to be nervous?

Regards.

[sexyshelby]

For the third question...yes, it's normal to be nervous. No need to worry.

For the second question, I suggest you talk to your wife about what would be good for the two of you. I don't think there's a "right" way to start. Talk about your fantasies, talk about some potential jealousy issues, talk about what you two want, then decide how to start. Do what works for you.

And for the first question, I would say it's normal or at least nothing to worry about...I'm much pickier than my boyfriend.

I have no idea why I answered these questions backwards!

~SS

[getnit2gethr]

1. As far as pickyness goes, you'll find all varieties of couples in the lifestyle. For us, I guess we're both a little picky. She's definitely moodier though .
2. What you should do depends entirely on you two. I agree with sexyshelby that you need to talk it out.
3. Spend a few minutes and read some of the situational help posts about nervousness. I think you'll discover that it's almost a requirement at first.

[flkeyscouple]

Originally Posted by nccouple861

1. My wife is pickier than me.. Is the normal?

I don't think it's abnormal. One of the two of you will more than likely be pickier - hard to be exactly on the same page.

2. Should we do MMF, soft swap or full swap with a couple?

Agree with above posts - TALK about this. Have your wife read this board with you. Talk again, and again, and again. The two of you together need to make the decision on what type of swinging you want to start with.

3. Is it normal to be nervous?

Absolutely! I think you'd be abnormal if you weren't. Both of you.

Good luck!
Sarah

[SouthBond]

Women seem to be better shoppers. Probably the majority of the guys run into the store and will buy the first thing that they see. Overall, women are usually smarter than us guys. When guys get an erection, it shuts down the blood to the brain and we go on automatic pilot. If your wife has agreed to swing, do everything possible to make her happy. In the long run, she is going to control the shots. Just go along for the ride and hope that the platmate that she accepts has a willing wife or S/O. It is suggested that you consider the recommendations of experienced swingers.

Declaimer: The above statements are only our opinions and based on our experience. We are not licensed sex theapists and encourage you to seek professional advice in deciding your course of action. Swinging is not for everyone and may or may not result in your desired goals.

[Mr.T]

Originally Posted by nccouple861

My wife and I are interested in swinging. I have some general questions.

1. My wife is pickier than me.. Is the normal?
2. Should we do MMF, soft swap or full swap with a couple?
3. Is it normal to be nervous?

Regards.

Good questions.Here's what I think:

1.Sure it's normal.Just remember one thing.She may be picky,but she married you,so she must have good taste.

2.That's a tough one.How secure are you?How secure is she?Could either of you handle see the other with another?

3.Nervous?Why not.You're trying something new.Everyone is a little nervous under such circumstances.(Just not everyone will admit it )

Just keep one thing in mind.Do only what feels good for BOTH of you.

[nccouple861]

thanks for all of the replies. I now don't believe our feelings are any different the others and what has gone through their heads on the first time. I believe the first time is most important. If it goes bad, then you have 100 percent failure. at least until you do it again, if you get a chance.

again thanks all

[pagan-lovers]

Originally Posted by nccouple861

1. My wife is pickier than me.. Is the normal?

1. My wife is definately pickier than me (see post from Southbond)

2. Should we do MMF, soft swap or full swap with a couple?

2. That decision needs to based on your fantasies and desires as well as finding people you feel comfortable with then finding out what they offer. ie. are they a couple, Bi-female etc. and their comfort level. Are they softswap only etc.

3. Is it normal to be nervous?

We had somefriends with benefits years ago but our first real venture into the lifestyle was a visit to a on-premise club. My wife was so nervous she had an upset stomach. All we did was dance, talk to a few people and watch. By the time we left, she was asking "When are we coming back". We left there and took care of each over and over again
Mr.PL

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by nccouple861

1. My wife is pickier than me.. Is the normal?

Yep. Being a woman, I know I'm pickier than Mr. LFM. It's just the way we are.

Originally Posted by nccouple861

2. Should we do MMF, soft swap or full swap with a couple?

Well, this is totally up to you two. You should sit down over a cup of coffee at the kitchen table and talk about this thoroughly. Decide what's right for you. I don't think that any of us can answer this except you. Are you ready for full swap? Are you ready for an MMF to start out your swinging lifestyle? This is something only that you two as a couple can answer.

Originally Posted by nccouple861

3. Is it normal to be nervous?

If you weren't nervous, I'd be worried. I think you're going about this just right. Asking all the right questions and digging for more information rather that just jumping into something that you might regret down the road.

[NCcuriouscpl]

[QUOTE=nccouple861]My wife and I are interested in swinging. I have some general questions.

1. My wife is pickier than me.. Is the normal?

Actually, Mr. NCcurious is very picky. Comes with good taste. It should work for both of you, or you should pass on the couple. No one should consider taking 'one for the team'!

2. Should we do MMF, soft swap or full swap with a couple?

That's totally up to you, but what you may want to consider is playing by yourselves in a group room setting the first time. You then get an idea of what is going on around you, and that in itself is a definite 'turn on'!

3. Is it normal to be nervous?

LOL....wow, we sure we're! But once you are in the environment, everything falls into place and you should simply enjoy what feels good to you both as a couple............just be sure to talk, talk, talk to one another!

Happy Turkey day everyone!
Ms.NCcurious

[iapr]

#1. Yes this is normal. Mother Nature made females picky for a reason, it called survival of the species. If women were only as picky as men, the earth would shut down cause people would just be screwing all the time adn nothing else would ever get done. Swinging is all about the women and if you gear everything towards the interests, safety/security and preferences of the Mrs and other women you encounter you will reap the rewards.

#2. Eliminate the word "Should" from you vocabulary. Go to a party or a meet and greet with no plans, no expectations and no goals other than to meet and get to know new people and to have fun and to inject some excitement and sexual energy into your primary relationship. If you go into it with a specific goal or an agenda or whatever you want to call it, you will be disappointed each and every time. If you go into it with an open mind and go with the mood and go with the flow you will come away with a smile on your face regardless of what ends up. The only place you can walk into with a plan and a laundry list of things you want to do is a brothel and a swingers party is as far from that as you can get.


#3. If you aren't nervous you aren't human and the day you are getting ready to go out and you aren't a little nervous is the day you need to hang up your party clothes and call it quits. Now I will say this, if you follow my advice on #1 and #2, things WILL fall into place now and then and you will be amazed at how natural and at ease things do flow.