Need Lots of Info....very new, very curious!

[LFM2]

Pepper and Intuition -- thanks for clearing that up for me and responding. I was assuming that was the difference, but you know what people get for assuming!

[Mike and Jan]

DBL D,

I was simply referring to the fact that I'd like for her to join me in swinging again but she doesn't want to.

And the things that she'd like for me to do with her more often that I prefer not to are;

Doing Disney attractions..., boring!

Visiting her family with her..., again, boring!

Getting into X-Mas with her..., yuk!

But, you know, I do my best to accomodate her as much as I can stand.

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by Mike and Jan

DBL D,

I was simply referring to the fact that I'd like for her to join me in swinging again but she doesn't want to.

And the things that she'd like for me to do with her more often that I prefer not to are;

Doing Disney attractions..., boring!

Visiting her family with her..., again, boring!

Getting into X-Mas with her..., yuk!

But, you know, I do my best to accomodate her as much as I can stand.

Thanks Mike. Sounds like a good trade to me.

Male D

[nmgrrrl]

this grrrl learned a lot from your thread. there are a lot of things i've wondered about too. the forums have been very educational!!
i am in a commited relationship. we have been talking about playing with others for a while. my man has quite a bit of experience in the lifestyle and is very comfortable with it. he & his former wife met a lot of ppl they are still good friends with despite the end of their marriage. in my former marriage we had some 3somes with women i was good friends with but the actual swing thing is kinda daunting!!
i would like to have another man join us and he would like nothing more than for that to happen for me. its hot as hell when he tells me what he would like to see happening with me and another man while we are having sex.
its all very exciting and we have enjoyed exploring the possiblities! learning new and mouthwatering things all the time!

[Alura]

Just Browsing asked:

How do you go about meeting other couples (we live in a small town)...

Since we don't really have any "big" towns in Oklahoma, that's always likely to be a problem. We live in Tulsa and often run into people we know. Once, while having dinner with our playcouple, some people we knew stopped at our table to say, "Hi!" I was sitting with Mrs. Playcouple while Mrs. Alura was sitting across the table with her husband. We could tell our friends were surprised at the seating arrangements, but they said nothing. Teehee.

There is going to be a Meet Up! in Tulsa next month. It is not a meeting for sex, just to get to know some of the members of the Swingers Board. See the Meet Up! Forum.

Mainly, just keep your eyes open. I once was checking out the swingers bulletin board at a local adult bookstore when another man came up and started reading the 3X5 cards. We chatted briefly and went across the street for a cup of coffee. He and his wife played with us for several years.

If you live in Depew or Fair Oaks, you may have to do some driving to play, but it's worth it. Our first playcouple lived outside Cushing on a farm, so they had no close neighbors to wonder who was visiting all night.

...does everyone use protection all the time, (we are both worried about diseases)...

Many do, but not all. There are lots of threads on this subject. We've always played with folks who've been married a long time and have had little or no swinging experience. With one couple, we were their first sexual experience outside each other. There was no chance they'd have an STD.

...is there a way to know if someone is clean or not...

No. There is never a way to be certain. You just have to deal with the odds.

...what if u don't want to have sex with other couples (just watch) at first...

Simply tell them up front. Many couples' first experience is "soft swinging." Some decide to swap partners for kissing and foreplay but end up having sex. That's okay if all agree, but make sure they do.

...does it really make marriages stronger or are there some who have had their marriages torn apart...

We think a couple has to have a strong marriage to be able to play. Marriages often get stronger after couples start playing but, in our opinion, it is the strength of the marriage, not the swinging, that builds the relationship. Swinging, by its very nature, does build communication and the ability to ask your spouse questions without fearing an angry response. In fact, we think it's a good idea for a couple to agree to NEVER get angry just because a question was asked.

...how do you feel afterwards, (we do talk very openly and honestly now so i think we would still be able to after the fact).

Excited! ...and the best part is when we talk later about what happened while we were playing. It always leads to great sex together.

What is the age range.

Near as I can tell, about Eighteen to Eighty. Under eighteen may land you in McAlister and over eighty may cause you to be holding the corpse of a partner who just came too hard.

Gosh, so much to ask...

So keep asking. That's what this board is for.

Alura

[Jack&Jill]

We're still newbies (just posted about our first experience in fact), and after talking about it in stages for almost three years, we decided that we had arrived at the point where we were willing to allow ourselves a mistake (if that's what it turned out to be) and that we were going into it together and would be equally responsible for the consequences to our relationship. Good thing too because the consequences turned out to be marvelous. But the key moment for us was reaching that point of acceptance and, if necessary, forgiveness. We've been glowing ever since. We had a brilliant marriage before, but we're really proud of ourselves for discovering this new level of intimacy and tolerance, this trust in the integrity of our marriage to weather a potential mistake. I'm not sure that kind of thinking works for everyone, but for us it was magic.

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by Jack&Jill

We're still newbies (just posted about our first experience in fact), and after talking about it in stages for almost three years, we decided that we had arrived at the point where we were willing to allow ourselves a mistake (if that's what it turned out to be) and that we were going into it together and would be equally responsible for the consequences to our relationship. Good thing too because the consequences turned out to be marvelous. But the key moment for us was reaching that point of acceptance and, if necessary, forgiveness. We've been glowing ever since. We had a brilliant marriage before, but we're really proud of ourselves for discovering this new level of intimacy and tolerance, this trust in the integrity of our marriage to weather a potential mistake. I'm not sure that kind of thinking works for everyone, but for us it was magic.

BINGO!! We have a winner! This is EXACTLY kind of thinking, IMO, that separates the successful swinging couple from the UNsuccessful. It's all about how the couple focuses on the business of dealing with problems, instead of just doing the bubble-gum-and-duct-tape remedy or, worse yet, expending huge amounts of energy on trying to avoid problems altogether. Problems are inevitible; you can't run from them forever, so it only makes sense to work on dealing with them instead. Get them out of the way before breakfast like any ohter unsavoury chore.

Congrats guys!

[oursecretok]

Just browsing you sound exactly like us!!

Same state, same interest level, same concerns, even the same about wanting to start out by watching another couple.

So what is your next step?