How long after getting married did you start swinging?

beaverz · 01-21-2005, 12:19 PM

My wife and I have been together for over twenty years (she was 17 and I was 19) and neither of us has had sex with anyone else since (at least I hope that’s still the case, just kidding). We are trying to learn as much as possible about swinging and what to expect.

I would like to get feedback from couples that didn’t start swinging until after they were married. How long after you were married did you start swinging and did either of you have a problem with anxiety, since it may have been a while since you were with someone else?

LikeMinds321 · 01-21-2005, 12:35 PM

We've been married thirty years and we started swinging this past year.

Mr LM had plenty of experience with dating and sex before we met. But no swinging. I can count on one hand the guys I dated before we met, no sex with any of them...I don't think I even let a guy touch my breast.

I was the one who brought up swinging. I was the one who wanted sex with others before I got any older. Mr LM said OK, and now we play.

For us it was a smooth transition because we were well prepared through reading this board.

I wouldn't say we experienced "anxiety." I would call it excitement and a few jitters; it was a good feeling really, we knew we were about to make a wonderful discovery!

LM

DBL D · 01-21-2005, 12:51 PM

We'd been married 23 years and it didn't come up in the best of ways...

Hopefully things will start to smooth out soon. We still find that we have to really work at it and I can't wait until it seems natural for us.

We have had some good times, don't get me wrong!!!

Male D

**good times** · 01-21-2005, 02:29 PM

We had been married about 18 years when we started swinging. The way we got into it was pretty gradual over a period of a two years or so. One of the biggest helps for us was this board, which we read and participated in for at least a year bfore we had our first swinging experiance. I think that is why when we actually took the plunge and started going to the clubs and meeting and playing with other swingers we didn't really experiance any anxiety, our experiance was more like LM said above with a few nervous jitters at first.

WesternSwing · 01-21-2005, 02:42 PM

We've been married 5 years next month. We got into swing about a year ago. We both were married before.

There were a few issues on my behalf at first. Much of these were attributed to baggage from my ex who had slept with my best friend and a coworker of hers, who she got pregnant with and later married married. I was not the jealous type before and didn't even think this dragon would rear its ugly head, but it did after the first time. That is not a problem anymore. After several more experiences and seeing my wife wasn't leaving me for someone else that feeling went away.

Mr. WS

NotsoNew · 01-22-2005, 12:47 AM

We were married for about 6 years before we got into swinging. We got married when we were 30. His first, my second.

northindycpl · 01-22-2005, 08:23 AM

We were married about 8 years before we started. maybe the Seven Year Itch had something to do with it?

We have a fantastic sex life.. and we always have. We really wated to expand our horizons.

djjwp · 01-22-2005, 11:05 AM

With ex, it was 8 years to start. Current wife, hard to say. We have done some soft but she is not regular about doing it. I would say 5 years before her first soft swing experance. Still try to get her to do more...

beaverz · 01-23-2005, 09:18 AM

It’s encouraging to know that there are couples that have started swinging successfully that had a monogamous relationships of 5, 10, 20+ years.

Thanks for your responses!!!

BradAndJanet · 01-23-2005, 01:16 PM

20 for us...

-B

CuriousElders · 01-23-2005, 03:37 PM

We've been together almost 32 years and we've been married for almost 29 years. We started swinging a year ago, so that makes it 28 years before we started. During that time we have been monomgmous, so loosing our virginity a second time was an event! Similar to LikeMinds123, Mr. CE had a lot of secual encounters prior to his first marriage and between marriages in the wonderful 60's. Mrs. CE could count her lovers on a single hand. As they say, "better late than never".

xxoticangel · 01-24-2005, 09:33 AM

We have been married almost 5 years and have been swinging for over 7. We had both been married before and if just seemed right for us. After we married we honeymooned at Hedo II so I would guess about 30 hours after the wedding we were swinging with another couple.

todesireu · 01-27-2005, 07:38 AM

We've been married 8 years, together for ten and got into swinging about three years ago. Swinging doesn't work well unless you have a solid relationship and communicate. facelick

24play · 01-29-2005, 02:11 PM

We started swinging when we were dating for 6 months, - and it's now been 4 years. Still loving it - and it's really cool that we both ventured into it toghether.

Both being married before, we totally knew what we wanted out of our sex lives and didnt' waste time in exploring it.
We've been married two years, now, and very happily so!

looking2swing · 01-29-2005, 03:22 PM

We were married for about 14 months before we started swinging.

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01-21-2005, 12:19 PM	#1 (permalink)
beaverz Eat a beaver save a tree Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 292 Location: Indy Status: Couple	How long after getting married did you start swinging? My wife and I have been together for over twenty years (she was 17 and I was 19) and neither of us has had sex with anyone else since (at least I hope that’s still the case, just kidding). We are trying to learn as much as possible about swinging and what to expect. I would like to get feedback from couples that didn’t start swinging until after they were married. How long after you were married did you start swinging and did either of you have a problem with anxiety, since it may have been a while since you were with someone else?
	__________________ Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive!

01-21-2005, 12:35 PM	#2 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 I'll think about it Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 10,099 Location: With Wild Things Status: Married Female	Re: How long after getting married? We've been married thirty years and we started swinging this past year. Mr LM had plenty of experience with dating and sex before we met. But no swinging. I can count on one hand the guys I dated before we met, no sex with any of them...I don't think I even let a guy touch my breast. I was the one who brought up swinging. I was the one who wanted sex with others before I got any older. Mr LM said OK, and now we play. For us it was a smooth transition because we were well prepared through reading this board. I wouldn't say we experienced "anxiety." I would call it excitement and a few jitters; it was a good feeling really, we knew we were about to make a wonderful discovery! LM

01-21-2005, 12:51 PM	#3 (permalink)
DBL D Oh...Why not?... Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 2,312 Location: Northern Call-ee-forn-ee-ah Status: Married Couple	Re: How long after getting married? We'd been married 23 years and it didn't come up in the best of ways... Hopefully things will start to smooth out soon. We still find that we have to really work at it and I can't wait until it seems natural for us. We have had some good times, don't get me wrong!!! Male D
	__________________ "Just nod if you can hear me..." David Gilmour

01-21-2005, 02:29 PM	#4 (permalink)
good times Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,919 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times Swing Lifestyle Name:randp	Re: How long after getting married? We had been married about 18 years when we started swinging. The way we got into it was pretty gradual over a period of a two years or so. One of the biggest helps for us was this board, which we read and participated in for at least a year bfore we had our first swinging experiance. I think that is why when we actually took the plunge and started going to the clubs and meeting and playing with other swingers we didn't really experiance any anxiety, our experiance was more like LM said above with a few nervous jitters at first.
	__________________ R (He is R, she is P)

01-21-2005, 02:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
WesternSwing South of disorder Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,973 Location: Utah Status: Single Male	Re: How long after getting married? We've been married 5 years next month. We got into swing about a year ago. We both were married before. There were a few issues on my behalf at first. Much of these were attributed to baggage from my ex who had slept with my best friend and a coworker of hers, who she got pregnant with and later married married. I was not the jealous type before and didn't even think this dragon would rear its ugly head, but it did after the first time. That is not a problem anymore. After several more experiences and seeing my wife wasn't leaving me for someone else that feeling went away. Mr. WS
	__________________ "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud Last edited by WesternSwing; 01-21-2005 at 02:47 PM.

01-22-2005, 12:47 AM	#6 (permalink)
NotsoNew Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 392 Location: MD Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:newbies123	Re: How long after getting married? We were married for about 6 years before we got into swinging. We got married when we were 30. His first, my second.

01-22-2005, 08:23 AM	#7 (permalink)
northindycpl Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,425 Location: Indiana Status: Blissfull SITCOM Swing Lifestyle Name:northindycpl	Re: How long after getting married? We were married about 8 years before we started. maybe the Seven Year Itch had something to do with it? We have a fantastic sex life.. and we always have. We really wated to expand our horizons.
	__________________ Mrs. Indy

01-22-2005, 11:05 AM	#8 (permalink)
djjwp Suffering from Hedo2 DIF Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 387 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:djjwp	Re: How long after getting married? With ex, it was 8 years to start. Current wife, hard to say. We have done some soft but she is not regular about doing it. I would say 5 years before her first soft swing experance. Still try to get her to do more...
	__________________ Life is only as good as you make it!

01-23-2005, 09:18 AM	#9 (permalink)
beaverz Eat a beaver save a tree Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 292 Location: Indy Status: Couple	Re: How long after getting married? It’s encouraging to know that there are couples that have started swinging successfully that had a monogamous relationships of 5, 10, 20+ years. Thanks for your responses!!!
	__________________ Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive!

01-23-2005, 01:16 PM	#10 (permalink)
BradAndJanet Only slightly cracked... Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 7,071 Location: Seattle Status: Married Couple	Re: How long after getting married? 20 for us... -B
	__________________ "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain All about us...

01-23-2005, 03:37 PM	#11 (permalink)
CuriousElders Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 22 Location: New England Status: C	Re: How long after getting married? We've been together almost 32 years and we've been married for almost 29 years. We started swinging a year ago, so that makes it 28 years before we started. During that time we have been monomgmous, so loosing our virginity a second time was an event! Similar to LikeMinds123, Mr. CE had a lot of secual encounters prior to his first marriage and between marriages in the wonderful 60's. Mrs. CE could count her lovers on a single hand. As they say, "better late than never".

01-24-2005, 09:33 AM	#12 (permalink)
xxoticangel Hot and Horny in ATL Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 381 Location: Atlanta, GA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:xxoticangel	Re: How long after getting married? We have been married almost 5 years and have been swinging for over 7. We had both been married before and if just seemed right for us. After we married we honeymooned at Hedo II so I would guess about 30 hours after the wedding we were swinging with another couple.
	__________________ Multiple orgasms are proof that God is a woman.

01-27-2005, 07:38 AM	#13 (permalink)
todesireu Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 147 Location: central ohio Status: couple	Re: How long after getting married? We've been married 8 years, together for ten and got into swinging about three years ago. Swinging doesn't work well unless you have a solid relationship and communicate. facelick

01-29-2005, 02:11 PM	#14 (permalink)
24play Active Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 21 Location: South Africa Status: Couple	Re: How long after getting married? We started swinging when we were dating for 6 months, - and it's now been 4 years. Still loving it - and it's really cool that we both ventured into it toghether. Both being married before, we totally knew what we wanted out of our sex lives and didnt' waste time in exploring it. We've been married two years, now, and very happily so!

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01-29-2005, 03:22 PM	#15 (permalink)
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	__________________ Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X

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