Do you find it necessary to talk on the phone before meeting?

[JustAskJulie]

Do you require a phone call/ conversation first to confirm that people are who they say they are prior to meeting with them?

Do you feel that it is necessary?

[NotsoNew]

No, not for us. Although we do tend to email first and do give out numbers in case something happens when we are scheduled to meet.

Although it has not happened to us, we figure that we can always leave if we find that they are not who they claimed to be since we always meet first in a public place.

[fun_pairTX]

We prefer a phone conversation first if possible, you can tell a lot from someone's voice.

A phone conversation is a MUST for us before we meet.

No phone conversation is a deal breaker EVERYTIME!!

Just one of our things.

[OhioCouple]

We do not require a phone call, however like Newbies123 we do exchange cell numbers in case something prevents one of us from arriving on time. We have never had a problem with mis-representation, or no shows, however I do feel that the communication shared via e-mail prior to meeting has been enough to weed out the phonies. And, we have weeded out our share of those.

[LikeMinds321]

I work in a counseling office and I have learned to pick up so much about people from the initial conversation when they call to schedule appointments.

I usually spend about 10 minutes on the phone with each person. I have been at this job for over 25 years.

Tone of voice, how a person expresses themselves, and of course, what they say "live" all help immensely in preparing you to meet a person...or it can determine if you DON"T want to meet them.

E-mail doesn't offer this advantage.

Mr. LM and I follow Mr&Mrs Naughty's rule, a phone conversation is a MUST before we meet with anyone.

LM

[TNT]

We don't require a phone conversation at all. We usually chat through e-mail and/or over IM when setting up a meeting. We always meet at a neutral place for the first meet. So far we have never been stood up and never had anyone show up that had misrepresented themselves through chat/e-mail. We do usually exchange cell numbers just in case someone is running late.

TNT

[Greg & Sheryl]

We don't require a phone call from everyone we meet online, but we do think it's a good strategy. When we request a phone call, it’s usually to verify that we are chatting with an actual couple when we have reason to suspect otherwise. However, even if we don’t speak to them first, we will exchange cell phone numbers just in case one of us is tardy to our first meeting.

[KentuckianaCPL4]

When we first broke into the lifetsyle we usually chatted a while and thought we got to know people.
But after a few bad experiences, Guys saying their SO were not wanting to meet, we went to the Phone and or Webcam conversations to confirm that people are whom they say they are.

SO phone is a must on all new meetings.

Ken & Rox

[BradAndJanet]

If we do decide to try meeting someone through an ad again we will, for the reason Greg & Sheryl cited.

We've had people refuse (or ignore) our request before, and we feel pretty sure we caught them lying about who and what they were, 'cause the communication stopped abruptly after that.

-B

[jcbicouple]

We don't ask for a phone number, and we don't give out ours. We keep our home life very private, and there are very few people that call us on any regular basis. (Yes, we're anti social. lol) We know this can be a deal breaker with some, and we understand that. We still prefer to keep our home and potential contact with family members out of our swinging lives.

[Alura]

We like to chat with couples on the phone. Wanna talk to us? Just send us an email and we'll give y'all a toll-free number. (We just found out it doesn't work in Canada, though.) Our toll-free number can't be run backwards through a website telephone directory to learn our address, which is why we like to use it.

Seriously, we know of no better way to find out if a couple is really a couple or if we have enough in common that we want to meet for dinner.

Mr. Alura

[pairbond]

Actually, we prefer NOT to have a phone conversation before meeting. We try hard to review profiles carefully to select only the most compatible couples, and then after an exchange of a couple or 3 emails we decide if we want to meet - always at a restaurant the first time, with an understanding that nothing more than dinner and a time to get acquainted is to be expected at that first meeting. It seems awkward to us to try to have a phone conversation first with someone you never met. We like to see how people actually look in person, whether they at least resemble the way they looked in any pictures they sent or had posted, see their facial expressions as they speak, how they dress and groom themselves, how they treat each other and the server at our table, etc., etc. And it seems like talking on the phone first would eliminate many of the topics you would discuss over dinner. I guess we have enough confidence in our screening via profiles and emails that we'd rather just have our first real conversation in person. So far in seven years it's worked out very well for us. We DO exchange cell phone numbers prior to meeting, so that we can keep each other posted should there be a last minute delay or a traffic jam or whatever.

[HotCoupleGnS]

Excahnging numerbs is a good idea. Although, we don't require a phone call first. We just met our first couple of the internet a few weekends ago, our sitter didn't show up for an hour & a half after we were supposed to be there. Well, when she did arrive we left to see if they just might be there, & they weren't. We felt so bad! But we had no way to get a hold of anyone! It really sucked b/c we were SO looikng forwar to meeting them!