Comfort Levels? Inviting People Home?

[OhioCouple]

An interesting topic came up this weekend.

How can you trust someone that you have just met at a club or via an email or two, to invite them into your home? That is just too freaky for me. I've got to KNOW them KNOW them. (Maybe I'm just freaky...lol)

I've noticed on our ad sites that many people entertain in their homes (and prefer to) and new people are there weekly. (The pics prove it..lol)

So my questions are:

1) How do you determine if you are comfortable with it, or does it even matter to you?

2) For those that invite unknowns on a whim into their homes, do you just naturally assume they are good people because they are swingers and all will be fine?

I suppose, as I was single for so many years and had kids that I am highly cautious and just inviting strangers in, was not an option. If you weren't a family member, close friend or my employer, you didn't have my address. My own (now husband) didn't get it for the first 6 months we were dating. So I am real freaky about allowing people to come to our home.

How do the rest of you determine when it is 'safe' to allow someone into your private domain?

[alabamafuntonig]

you screen them mrs O ask questions get to know them via the internet! like i said it does not always work out(remember my older /younger couple) we chat often then make plans . the home is a comfort zone for us. but on the other hand we dont do the unusual stuff any ways.

[twopeople2]

I would not bring someone to home that I didn't know well. I have good friends who have never been to my home. I prefer to meet somewhere.

[fun_pairTX]

We do entertain here, but only people we know. I have business associates in and out as my company is home based, so there is no way I can have a "sanctum sanctorum". When we meet new people we usually do it at a neutral location.

[OhioCouple]

Perhaps I didn't word my questions very well.

What do you use as a screening process? How do you know them, know them well enough to bring them in to your domain? What does it take to make that level of trust?
Does it take a one time meeting away from your home and then you feel comfortable, or does it take many? Once, a handfull of meetings, etc.? Or do you invite them based on the impression of horniness and saving money for a motel room?

[alabamafuntonig]

ah got ch ya! well a series of emails and questions we now also do backround checks of potential playmates! via the internet if they do not check out then we do not play. for a low price of $39.00 a month you can learn a lot about people in a short amount of time all you need is a email address and phone# or address and walla! instant wacko removal! we learned this trick after our little mishap with younger older man !

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by alabamafuntonig
for a low price of $39.00 a month you can learn a lot about people in a short amount of time all you need is a email address and phone# or address and walla! instant wacko removal! we learned this trick after our little mishap with younger older man !

Are you kidding about this? Can that really be done?

Ignorant O

[naughty A]

Originally posted by OhioCouple
Are you kidding about this? Can that really be done?

Ignorant O

I was going to answer your question Mrs. O ... but I'm interested TOO!

eek! makes me wonder what is out there and easily available on ME!

[EternallySingle]

Even when I was living on my own, I rarely entertained at home. To me, that was for the special people in my life. My true friends and loved ones. Not every Suzy and Jane who showed a sexual interest in me. In my opinion, thats what motels are for.

I don't have to make friends in this lifestyle, I just want to. Its real simple to me. If you don't accept my rules and situation, thats your problem. I'm only in it for the fun and friendship, not to fill some void in my life. If I wanted to fill a void, I'd buy a bulldozer.

[alabamafuntonig]

http://person.langenberg.com/

start here and keep going yes im serios . if ya really want to know about your neibors this is great! oh buy the way public records are public private records are not ..but $ talks

so when mr so and so says he is 35 and lives in soso town if his backround check says he is 49 and lives in nono town then he failed . im not looking up his marage records ,cell phone #s ,property deeds,car titles and stuff thats 49.99 a month

We dont entertain in our home. This is something that we enjoy but dont want to risk our kids walking in on so we always meet at a nuetral location.

[JnCinOH]

If most swingers had the same attitude as most of these replies there would be no in-home entertainment or parties. There obviously are greater risks in this lifestyle than inviting new acquaintances to your home, but there does not seem to be the same paranoia about those.
I have a question for all those who say they would never entertain at home -- Do you attend parties in other peoples homes? If so, how can you justify that?

[naughty A]

I prefer to do a first meet through a off premise club. ...

if WE meet both half's of a couple and WE both like both of them, and want to get to know them better - I DO invite them to our home for dinner and a hot tub preferrably after exchanging a few emails - but not necessary.

I know all you nudists frown on this but I tell them TO BRING THEIR SUITS. - I think this sets the tone... this is a getting comfortable get acquainted, no obligation meet (plus our hot tub is rather open to view) I like the hot tub as a place to look and touch and TALK ... but not to play.

Dinner at home offers the opportunity for long and detailed conversations that are not interrupted by wait staff or the possibility that someone at a nearby table can over hear us. You can sit at the table and conversation can be on ANY subject and can last as long as you want - there is no need to move on to another location, bar. You can get a little more flirty (ok a LOT) than you would be able to at a restaurant as well.

we DON'T have children... so that is not going to be a problem...

I have only once invited a couple to my home that I wanted to throw out after the first few minutes. (in retrospect I wish I had.)

The difference is... we have met the majority of these couples on more than one occassion at the club, we know them somewhat - enough to know that we have "some" things in common- we are physically attracted and want to see if the rest of the priorities match up...

I would NOT consider going to a hotel room with them or having sex with them at a party ... if I didn't feel I could invite them to MY home.

[BradAndJanet]

If not for our children, we would have no problem inviting people we have grown to trust into our home for a bit 'o fun. After all, if we're going to get naked with someone, we'd have to know them well enough to trust them in our house!

-B

[jen]

My house is full of my remembers, its my insides from all days, it expresses my past & my direction.

Its like a giant box tucked under a bed - kept filled with ones most prized possessions. A box no one else knows you have.

Each item placed inside the box is placed there from specialness, from my heart or given to me by the best hearts on earth.

If someone sees inside my home, they see me, that isn't for just anyone.

Once I am comfortable enough with someone to have them in my home, I need them to feel as though it is their house as much as it is mine, like they are welcome and wanted here always.

Achieving that level of comfort takes time, conversations, eye contact, interactions within different environments, and opportunities to see how they interact with others.

Same goes for entering someone else’s home. I wouldn’t be able to feel comfortable without having had other experiences with the person/s beforehand.

There are exceptions to rules of course…which is why this isn’t a rule as much as it is an idea or beginning toward finding comfort.

Sometimes you meet someone and instantly are comfortable around them or comforted by their presence. Those people rock!

Now give me a second I need to find a new hiding place for my box, under the bed is too obvious...suddenly.

Or something.