Meeting Swingers That Don't Converse

[avgcpl4u]

Meeting Swingers That Don't Converse

Hi, have you ever met with a new couple (first time meet with them) for drinks/dinner and you ended up doing all the talking and conversing cause they did not talk much or at all? It kinda gave us the impression they were'nt very interested in us since they were really quite. Or maybe that was just they're personality?

We have met our share of swingers in past years and are still trying to figure some of them out thru our past meeting experiences, and was wondering if anyone here has encountered this same scenario when meeting someone new inperson for the first time, and your thoughts on this.

Thanks

[EvilMJ]

I think I remember a thread like this earlier.


But yes I have had that experience. I tend to think it is a personality thing. We were with one couple where she talked constantly and he never said a thing. I thought he wasn't interested in me beacuse he didn't talk to me or flirt or anything, and she tried to convince me that he was. In the end we called it quits..I hate having to do all the work in a conversation, I like to be met halfway

[avgcpl4u]

Hi EvilMJ,

Great answer! As you said in meeting "halfway". We too agree halfway is always much better. Just hate to send the wrong signal though to have the other couple feel that we talk to much inturn they have'nt spoken a word all night.

Guess we just have to move on as we have done in the past when it seems things don't click. :surrender Oh well, thats swinging...LOL....

[GoodThingzCum]

I agree with the halfway...usually it turns out he talks to me.and she doesnt talk to him.or vice versa....either way it doesnt work..we enjoy conversation..and its best when its all 4 involved for us......besides..we tend to have more laughter that way! This is SUPPOSED to be fun right?

[Mrs.PaganLovers]

The first couple that we met online, we agreed to meet for dinner. We went to a nice club/restaurant, and we tried to involve them in conversation. It didn't get much further than what we did for living, kids and mundane small talk. We had absolutely nothing in common and we were bored silly. They actually wrote back that they liked us and had a good time. I can't do that, I think a personality match up is most important and beyond that if something happens it happens. Personality comes first.

[pumpkins1970]

We once met a couple where Mrs. Pumpkin and I carried the conversation 90% of the time we sat with them. The other F talked a bit, but all the other male did was stare at my wife's breast's. Needless to say, we walked away from that meeting thinking "That's 60 minutes of our lives we'll never get back" When we got home we found they had left us a cpl of IM's about what a great time they had, how much they liked us, etc. It was funny reading their IM's because they typed more in those couple of messages then they had said the entire meeting! So for us, meet us halfway and talk...unless you're moaning!

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by avgcpl4u

Hi, have you ever met with a new couple (first time meet with them) for drinks/dinner and you ended up doing all the talking and conversing cause they did not talk much or at all? It kinda gave us the impression they were'nt very interested in us since they were really quite. Or maybe that was just they're personality?

I have never experienced this with swingers, but have with plenty of people.....and its awful! As you all can tell, I am very talkative. And Jay is as well. I hate the awkward silences that happen. I can tell you that they are probably just shy, once you get to know them they will probably warm up and talk more. This is why we chat before talking about meeting, because even on yahoo IM I can usually get a feel for whether or not their personalities and ours will click.

[Mr. Truelove]

Am I ever guilty of this. If I know you, I can talk just fine. If you are stranger I can talk to you but I tend to be tense and my humor doesn't come out as it does online. Put me next to a really hot woman that I like....ziiiiiiip. I clam right up.

It's a work in progress.

[Mrs.PaganLovers]

Mr Truelove, you were quiet this past weekend, but you and the Mrs. are so cute! I think we were all afraid this all overwhelmed you guys..so we all kept asking if you guys were ok LOL. Then I read the post "ohmygodtherearebreastinthewindow" and just cracked up . What a sense of humor you have!!!

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by Mr. Truelove

Am I ever guilty of this. If I know you, I can talk just fine. If you are stranger I can talk to you but I tend to be tense and my humor doesn't come out as it does online. Put me next to a really hot woman that I like....ziiiiiiip. I clam right up.

It's a work in progress.

Dito

Although substitute nice guy for the hot woman. In any case, I make it a point to try to start a conversation now, instead of leaving the spousal unit to carry on the conversation on my behalf. It's getting better, but definitely not my strong suit.

You seemed to do just fine last week, though, Mr. Truelove. I do actually recall speaking with you and Mrs. Truelove a little at dinner.

[JustAskJulie]

It seems like 90% of the couples I met with my ex were like this and to make it worse he wasn't much better, so often it felt like I alone was having to carry the conversation for all 4 of us. It seems like the few times that wasn't the case we met up with couples who could talk of nothing other than sex, often loudly in crowded restaurants.

When you go home from nights like that to the "we had a great time IMs" doesn't it make you think you are on a swinger version of "Blind Date"

[Thrax]

ANOTHER introvert here!

I can usually hold a conversation pretty well if the other folks ask a few questions, and the topic (travel, exercise, food, gardening, books, movies except for the American Pie series, etc.) is something I'm at least somewhat familiar with. But if there's dead air, sometimes I panic.

And sometimes I've been known to overcompensate by describing EVERY...LAST...DETAIL...OF...MY...TRIPS...TO...FRA NCE to someone who once had a layover in Paris. Oh well, some things just weren't meant to be, but I appreciate the folks that can bull through those awkward pauses, and really, honestly, I try.

Thrax

[avgcpl4u]

Maybe the couple that we had met thought we were so ugly (to them) that they were "Shocked" with SILENCE over the intire night!!!...LOL... They were'nt the great'est looking in the world either, though we usually don't judge people by they're looks, but by attitude.

Case in point, they were NEW though to the lifestyle, and possibly had the jidders in being amongst us "freaks" there...LOL... Oh well... has'nt been the first time.

[avgcpl4u]

Originally Posted by Thrax

ANOTHER introvert here!

I can usually hold a conversation pretty well if the other folks ask a few questions, and the topic (travel, exercise, food, gardening, books, movies except for the American Pie series, etc.) is something I'm at least somewhat familiar with. But if there's dead air, sometimes I panic.

And sometimes I've been known to overcompensate by describing EVERY...LAST...DETAIL...OF...MY...TRIPS...TO...FRA NCE to someone who once had a layover in Paris. Oh well, some things just weren't meant to be, but I appreciate the folks that can bull through those awkward pauses, and really, honestly, I try.

Thrax

Good point Thrax! ....Better to "FAKE IT" then to show it! Though, we too enjoy people's company that overcompensates about anything and everything in conversing!

Cheers

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Mr. Truelove

Put me next to a really hot woman that I like....ziiiiiiip. I clam right up.
It's a work in progress.

You know though, I have to admit that I am guilty of this, opposite of course from you. If I am not very attracted to a man I'm funny, witty, the whole thing. Let him catch my eye and I am quiet and shy lol.......go figure, it must be flash backs from the 3rd grade! I'm working on that as well.