Letting others know that you need a vibrator during sex

[alphaplaycpl]

I need some advice, here, guys...

I am slightly shy about admitting my need to use a vibrator to reach orgasm. I wish with everything that I am that this were not the case. Tried all sorts of methods to overcome this, but nothing has worked.

So, what do I say to a couple we play with? Should I just come out and say it? Do you think I risk them being turned off if I do?

I am opposed to faking it, in the interst of honesty. But, after we have played with a couple a few times, they start to realize that I am not cumming.

What should I do/say?

Thanks!
Mrs. Alpha

[Concupiscence]

Mrs. Alpha,

I cannot reach orgasm unless I am rubbing myself during intercourse. I went years foregoing orgasms because I was embarrassed about it or it made my ex-husband uncomfortable and he felt insulted. My beloved Mr. Concupiscence has made me realize that this is completely foolish and unfair to myself. Anyone who was offended by your need to use a vibrator should be given the option to reassess their perspective or kiss your ass. If I were you I would proudly haul that puppy along with me and have it at the ready. From what little experience I have, it seems that most people are more than happy to have toys around. I don't explain anything when I want to rub myself, I just politely ask to adjust positions if necessary and get my groove thang on.

One thing that I have learned is that if you let your shyness dictate the experience then the only thing that will happen is that you will be miserable. I speak from way too much experience in this area. I am thankful that I no longer feel this way.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Concupiscence

...If I were you I would proudly haul that puppy along with me and have it at the ready. From what little experience I have, it seems that most people are more than happy to have toys around...

I agree with Mrs Concupiscence.

I bring my big Hitachi Magic Wand on every playdate, pull that sucker out and plug it in. Nearly every woman who saw me work myself over with it wanted to try it, and did so either that same night or on our next swing date. At least one husband bought one for his wife after seeing her (and me) pleasure ourselves using it.

I have only achieved small orgasms - I actually think of them more as a climax than a full-blown orgasm, that's the best way I can explain it - through intercourse alone on a few occasions. Thus far, if I want to get the Big O I need clitoral stimulation along with intercourse, and even with oral.

One thing that I have learned is that if you let your shyness dictate the experience then the only thing that will happen is that you will be miserable.

This is worth repeating.

I don't explain anything when I want to rub myself, I just politely ask to adjust positions if necessary and get my groove thang on.

"Groove thang" I love that! I can hear the music now.

LM

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by alphaplaycpl

I need some advice, here, guys...

I am slightly shy about admitting my need to use a vibrator to reach orgasm. I wish with everything that I am that this were not the case. Tried all sorts of methods to overcome this, but nothing has worked.

So, what do I say to a couple we play with? Should I just come out and say it? Do you think I risk them being turned off if I do?

I am opposed to faking it, in the interst of honesty. But, after we have played with a couple a few times, they start to realize that I am not cumming.

What should I do/say?

Thanks!
Mrs. Alpha

Just bring the toy with you. I can't imagine many people having issues with it. I'd personally welcome it.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by alphaplaycpl

I need some advice, here, guys...

I am slightly shy about admitting my need to use a vibrator to reach orgasm. I wish with everything that I am that this were not the case. Tried all sorts of methods to overcome this, but nothing has worked.

So, what do I say to a couple we play with? Should I just come out and say it? Do you think I risk them being turned off if I do?

I am opposed to faking it, in the interst of honesty. But, after we have played with a couple a few times, they start to realize that I am not cumming.

What should I do/say?

Thanks!
Mrs. Alpha

I agree with everyone else.....most men I know would love to watch you use it, including my beloved!! Probably me too
Anyways, honesty is the best thing I think, but I agree with the others. I would not personally have a problem at all with it, and if they do I doubt they are people you want to share intimate moments with anyhow.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I bring my big Hitachi Magic Wand on every playdate, pull that sucker out and plug it in.
LM

By the way, is this as great as I hear it is? I want to buy myself one, and would like some info on it.
Thanks!

[Mike and Jan]

I have only rarely ejaculated during felatio. I used to actually feel selfconscience about it.

I then learned that it was better to just tell my partner in advance of this situation.

You wouldn't believe the fantasitic blowjobs I've had. I don't know if they were trying to prove me a liar or had taken this as a challenge.

You might let each new partner(s) give it a good try before pulling out the sure thing each time too.

[Pepper & Drew]

I would much rather know up front. Because if most guys know, and they are good playmates, they will ask how can they help you reach the big "O". If they don't care that you will reach full satisfaction then you know early that they are probably not worthy playmates and you can move on to more caring people. Tell the World and Let the World Help! You may find that someone out there has a trick you haven't thought of.

Drew

[Amanda69]

Honesty is the best policy. Otherwise the poor couple are probably wondering what "they" are doing wrong that you aren't cumming. By the way faking it only cheats both you and them of the genuine enjoyment.

You never know they might have some interesting technique to teach you that may lead to a mind blowing, non vibrator orgasm...open yourself up to the possibilities.

[alphaplaycpl]

Thanks for all the support out there! Knowing that I am not the only woman to desire to bring a toy into play is quite comforting. I like the idea of the challenge, too...sounds like fun.

Likeminds (thanks for sharing this quote!):
I have only achieved small orgasms - I actually think of them more as a climax than a full-blown orgasm, that's the best way I can explain it - through intercourse alone on a few occasions. Thus far, if I want to get the Big O I need clitoral stimulation along with intercourse, and even with oral.

I will admit that I have had several "Small" orgasms during intercourse. I can have many of those little babies. I didn't even realize that I was having them for quite a while. However, they are so small that they pale in comparison to the others. Lets just say I am notsatisfied without the Big O.

These thoughts are bringing me to two more questions:
1. Ladies - What are your favorite toys?
2. Does anyone have a good non-vibrator technique to share?

My favorite toy? The Eroscillator - nothing beats it yet! It oscillates back and forth rather than vibrates....mmmm....

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by alphaplaycpl

1. Ladies - What are your favorite toys?My favorite toy? The Eroscillator - nothing beats it yet! It oscillates back and forth rather than vibrates....mmmm....

My favorite toy is my good old left hand lol.

2. Does anyone have a good non-vibrator technique to share?

Lots and lots of foreplay. I have found that the quicker we get to the actual penetration the less of an orgasm I have. When we do different positions, and lots of foreplay all I can say is WOWSA! When I have those kind of O's my body just does a short circuit sort of thing, where I think my heart stops beating lol......btw, does any of you other ladies have those? I would like to have the whole screaming orgasm, but instead all of my muscles do this simultaneous relax thing and I just collapse lol. Its actually kind of embarassing lol.

[alphaplaycpl]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

I would like to have the whole screaming orgasm, but instead all of my muscles do this simultaneous relax thing and I just collapse lol. Its actually kind of embarassing lol.

I have had the muscles relax kind before, or the kind that make me tense up all over. The best screaming O? Well, Mr. A says he can see my clit move up and down like a light switch turning on and off.

My suggestion? Sub a really good vibrator for your left hand, and don't touch your clit with it. Go near and around, but not acutally on. Trust me- you'll scream.

Mrs. A

[Concupiscence]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

... When I have those kind of O's my body just does a short circuit sort of thing, where I think my heart stops beating lol......btw, does any of you other ladies have those? I would like to have the whole screaming orgasm, but instead all of my muscles do this simultaneous relax thing and I just collapse lol. Its actually kind of embarassing lol.

I have both although I couldn't tell you what technique gives me one or the other. The tensing up one occurs the most though and I tense up SO much that I end up with legs cramps and little red spots all over my chest and neck. The spots are from all the broken capillaries that apparently burst when I tense up.

When I have the screaming O's I might as well be possessed LOL, I squirt and flail around and squeal and screech. Now THAT is the one I find embarrassing.

Otherwise, if I am tired or can't focus or try too hard then I just have small ones. Nice and relaxing but not Earth-shattering.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

By the way, is this as great as I hear it is? I want to buy myself one, and would like some info on it.
Thanks!

Many women love the Hitachi and if you do an internet search you'll find many places to purchase it. It's sold as a body massager to keep the vanilla world from knowing about our evil doings.

I've only ever seen it available on-line. Shop around for the best price on-line. It usually costs $35-$50. Some places sell it with two soft attachments, I got those but never use them.

LM

[captainbob]

2. Does anyone have a good non-vibrator technique to share?

My sweetie seems to cum harder if I rub her G-spot with a couple of fingers with one hand while rubbing her clit vigorously with several fingers of the other hand.
I used to be afraid I was too rough and then she'd bat my hands away and rub her clit herself. So now I know how rough she likes it!
She would often tell me to remove my fingers at a crucial point and then spray my grinning face! After that I would just press my hand on her pussy and feel it throbbing and pulsing for awhile.
No vibrators were worn out or broken in the making of this orgasm!

I agree with lots of foreplay. I think the guy too has a bigger load if it takes longer to get to the intercourse.