Initiating the action in a threesome

innocentlyshy10 · 07-27-2006, 12:57 PM

Okay now this is my first post aside from introductions.I will make this straight and to the point. Like I said in introductions we have been swinging for a few years...we have been with couples, we have had 3 somes with other women but we have never had a threesome with another guy....I am okay with this actually pretty excited but it is planned for tomorrow....The only problem is that both guys (hubby and the single guy) say that they will not initiate...that if I want it I have to initiate it.I tend to be the aggressive one anyway so that won`t be a problem. It is just that I know I will be nervous and not sure how to go about it. Okay my question is what would be about the best way to do this with out games or cards or something like that? I want this to be an erotic experience and I don`t want it to be something that I will regret or look at as one of those things later on... I am sorry some think that that is a great ice breaker but I really just want it to be more natural that a stressed nervous crazy thing...know what I mean??? Looking for some good advice guys.....Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!
Becki

iowancouple96 · 07-27-2006, 02:13 PM

Great question. I've wondered this myself. We have a potential single guy to join us for a threesome. We have had a few occasions that we COULD have gotten it on, but nobody initiated anything. Apparently they were waiting for me to initiate it, but I told hubby that I can't put myself in that situation, THEY need to put me there. Might sound a little odd, but I just can't bring myself to grab both of their hands and drag their sexy asses off to the bedroom. So yeah, how the hell do you initiate a threesome with two men??? Enquiring minds want to know.

Thrax · 07-27-2006, 04:18 PM

First of all, with your first MFM, most likely all three of you will be at least a little nervous. Don't worry about it. It's "first-date" nerves. You've already established that the three of you want this to happen, it's just that the guys are putting the onus on you to start, most likely so they know that when the time comes, you still really want to have this threesome.

If you truly are comfortable being aggressive in sexual situations, then use it here to get the ball(ing) rolling. For instance, after you feel you've had enough of the chit-chat, produce a bottle of massage oil, and tell the guys you'd very much like to try it out, but you can't do that in all the clothes you're wearing. The method of getting the clothes off of everyone is up to you, but you can have the guys undress you first -- while kissing and fondling you, of course -- and then while they are still paying attention to you, alternate undressing them. After everybody's nekkid and a little warmed up, then get them to massage you.

Or you could walk naked into the room, wave the massage oil bottle around, and say, "Guys, get your clothes off and let's get this thing started."

At one MFM, the three of us were standing in the kitchen talking. Hubby was by the fridge getting drinks, and she was standing very close to me. She had her hand on my arm a lot while we were talking. When he handed her her drink, she took it, and leaned back into me, grinding just a little. I put a hand on her hip, and within a few minutes we had to put the drinks down. Hubby came over and kissed her. We gradually got her undressed, and she took turns unbuttoning our shirts, unbuckling belts, and unzipping our jeans. After about 15 minutes we were a skin sandwich, and things proceeded from there to the bedroom.

Actually, when a woman wants to initiate MFM activity, the easiest way -- in admittedly a sometimes awkward situation -- is for her to start being flirty. Touch both of the guys a lot, especially the other guy, and not necessarily sexually at first. Just a hand on a bicep or chest or thigh, and some rubbing. Move into it slowly. Tease. The guys will react once they know you are interested in getting things going. If things aren't moving fast enough, gently grab a hand and put it where you want it to be, or intentionally rub up against the guys. Alternate kissing them. In general, guys are easy. If you start it they will cum.

If you are more comfortable focusing on the hubby first, make sure that you swiftly bring the other guy into the action, otherwise it could get awkward for the other guy and he might not know how to insinuate himself into the situation. Beckon or call him over, hold onto your hubby but kiss the other guy, etc.

The previous are just some ideas from my personal experience as the single male in an MFM. I'm sure some of the others on this Board can give you more and better ideas.

And I have to logout now 'cause a thunderstorm is a-comin' in.

Good luck!

Thrax

lovefest04 · 07-27-2006, 05:09 PM

Truth is both guys will be waiting for your advances. And. let's face it guys are a pretty clumbsy bunch, so don't be too nervous.

In our household we've initiated many way. We usually start with drinks and conversation, then she'll at some point give me a nice big kiss. Then, I take it from there.

Another time, I was with a couple and after bit of conversation, she made a comment about enjoying erotic clothing and she asked if we'd like ot see her new skirt. We said yes, she changed into a very hot, very short, very sexy skirt with as sexy a top and reappeared i the living room. Didn't take much to get it going from there.

Once my wife simple removed her shirt in the middle of the conversation. clearly she had had enough talk...we moved right in.

None of these advances seemed to me or the other men as weird or clumbsy.

I think its always fine to flirt, tease and then just plant a kiss on one of the guys and remove his shirt..

Have fun!!!!!

**TNT** · 07-27-2006, 05:10 PM

Thrax gave some excellent advice...

I'm kind of aggressive

when it comes to our MFM threesomes, so there's never any hesitation on my part...by the time we make it to a room I'm usually carrying my shoes and undessing as we walk in the door.

I will usually start kissing on the other man and undressing him first...Ted enjoys watching this and by the time I have the other man undressed and on the bed, he's gotten himself undressed and waiting for us there. Things seem to progress well from then on

.

Teresa

JDApopka · 07-27-2006, 05:24 PM

I myself(her) am not aggressive at all. Hubby will usually inform the other guy of that fact and tell him its ok to suduce me. this also turns the hubby on. I will put on something sexy and sit next to them and chat. some start by rubbing my theigh or some will just go for a kiss once that happens I just go with the flow

meandher2go · 07-29-2006, 11:45 AM

i (me) have never had a problem starting ANY of our 3-somes. someone has to do it..

best way i find is to say.."lets get her undressed and massage her to start with" then 3 seconds later we ALL have our clothes off and get it going.

twohots4u2 · 07-30-2006, 12:36 AM

On our first MFM we talked a while to get to know him and then the conversation shifted to the hot tub. Then she asked him if he would like to join us in the hot tub. We took our clothes off in the dressing room and put them in a locker. I let the way to the hot tub, got in, and he and I both helped her in. I invited him to join me in making her feel good and it went downhill from there.

They probably want you to initiate it to make absolutely sure that you want to do this, and do not want any possiblities of regrets by you later.

"In general, guys are easy. If you start it they will cum." What great advice by Thrax! Almost anything will break the ice: a three way hug, sitting between them on a sofa and reaching out and touching both of them, kissing your guy and having your friend join both of you and kissing the other guy when he does, etc. If things are going slow, grap the guys' hands and put the them on your (clothed) breasts. Things will get hot from there.

innocentlyshy10 · 08-01-2006, 03:14 PM

Thanks for all the advice....it finally happened and it was .....all I can say is "Oh my God!!!!" If I had known it would have turned out like this we would have done the MFM thing a long time ago.

Just thought I would let you guys know that it happened and it was great....again thanks for all the advice...Becki

VanHlebar · 08-01-2006, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by innocentlyshy10

Thanks for all the advice....it finally happened and it was .....all I can say is "Oh my God!!!!" If I had known it would have turned out like this we would have done the MFM thing a long time ago.

Just thought I would let you guys know that it happened and it was great....again thanks for all the advice...Becki

That's all you are going to give us?!?

I mean come on.. we want juicy details.

Ok, really glad it happened for you. We are still looking for that right guy for MrsVan's 3some. She has had two in the past, one was a spur of the moment thing at a club, which was hot, but not what she really wants and the other was with the husband of a couple that we knew. Again, it was really awesome for her, but not quite the same as it would be with just two guys giving her all the attention she could handle. We are hoping that a particular guy we have been talking with here lately will finally actually show up. facelick

-Van

Thrax · 08-01-2006, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by innocentlyshy10

Thanks for all the advice....it finally happened and it was .....all I can say is "Oh my God!!!!" If I had known it would have turned out like this we would have done the MFM thing a long time ago.

Just thought I would let you guys know that it happened and it was great....again thanks for all the advice...Becki

Yeah, I think we all would be curious to know how you eventually got things started at the very least.

Congrats! Glad it was an enjoyable time.

Thrax

prettylady · 08-02-2006, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by innocentlyshy10

Thanks for all the advice....it finally happened and it was .....all I can say is "Oh my God!!!!" If I had known it would have turned out like this we would have done the MFM thing a long time ago.

Just thought I would let you guys know that it happened and it was great....again thanks for all the advice...Becki

I am SOOO jealous of you.
Your friend,
Prettylady

08-03-2006, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by innocentlyshy10

Thanks for all the advice....it finally happened and it was .....all I can say is "Oh my God!!!!" If I had known it would have turned out like this we would have done the MFM thing a long time ago.

Just thought I would let you guys know that it happened and it was great....again thanks for all the advice...Becki

Now you cannot leave us hanging like that.

MrVan and I have a MFM planned for tomorrow night as long as everything goes as planned. But I would be interested in knowing how you got things started? I have been curious about this as well. I am a very shy person and it takes me a while to open up and feel comfortable. So I am ready to do this now but want to make sure things go as planned and that I get things started when I am ready...

So help a lady out and give some details..Inquiring minds want to know

I am glad to hear that it went great for u...

MrsVan

jj06 · 08-03-2006, 11:14 PM

the 1st mmf 3some me and my wife had i was nervous about the initiating too, me and the guy sat down in the living room waiting for my wife to get back from the store, we were watching tv, i was thinking of what to say and all i could think of to say is "so, your gonna fuck me and my wife tonight then..." so it was just silent, then he just said "nervous? don't worry".

soon as my wife got back in, he started kissing her and said "im gonna go give her a test ride, i'll shout you when to come up", sure enough he shouted me to come up and we all had an amazing few days ( we had a swinger weekend together)

he did give me some tips afterwards which were:

1 - be confident

2 - if you need an icebreaker - ask the guy if he likes sports, or what kind of music he likes, then sway towards sexual discussion to get both of you in the mood

3 - another way to break the ice is just ask "do you want a drink?" and don't just get the drink and that's it, always follow up the sentence, like "Do you want a drink? Are you sure? Ok, so have you been keeping up with the football?"

4 - when you are all ready, but waiting for someone to initiate, make a joke of the tense situation, like "so...... c'mon then, get them clothes off, the dicks hard and the pussy wet"

5 - if you don't wanna do number 4, then just ask if they'd prefer to do it upstairs or downstairs and after they have finished replying always say "shall we make a start then"

and i've followed those tips a few times and it does work well, hope they work well for others

xxoticangel · 08-04-2006, 08:57 AM

Over the years we have found that the easiest way to start a MFM is if I just kiss the guy in front of my husband. This lets my husband know I am interested in a guy and also lets the guy know that my husband is ok with it.

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07-27-2006, 12:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
innocentlyshy10 Registered Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 3 Location: ohio Status: couple	Initiating the action in a threesome Okay now this is my first post aside from introductions.I will make this straight and to the point. Like I said in introductions we have been swinging for a few years...we have been with couples, we have had 3 somes with other women but we have never had a threesome with another guy....I am okay with this actually pretty excited but it is planned for tomorrow....The only problem is that both guys (hubby and the single guy) say that they will not initiate...that if I want it I have to initiate it.I tend to be the aggressive one anyway so that won`t be a problem. It is just that I know I will be nervous and not sure how to go about it. Okay my question is what would be about the best way to do this with out games or cards or something like that? I want this to be an erotic experience and I don`t want it to be something that I will regret or look at as one of those things later on... I am sorry some think that that is a great ice breaker but I really just want it to be more natural that a stressed nervous crazy thing...know what I mean??? Looking for some good advice guys.....Help me!!!!!!!!!!!! Becki

07-27-2006, 02:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
iowancouple96 Here to Stay Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 59 Location: NE Iowa Status: Married couple Swing Lifestyle Name:Jenn_and_Todd	Re: Initiating??? 3some Great question. I've wondered this myself. We have a potential single guy to join us for a threesome. We have had a few occasions that we COULD have gotten it on, but nobody initiated anything. Apparently they were waiting for me to initiate it, but I told hubby that I can't put myself in that situation, THEY need to put me there. Might sound a little odd, but I just can't bring myself to grab both of their hands and drag their sexy asses off to the bedroom. So yeah, how the hell do you initiate a threesome with two men??? Enquiring minds want to know.

07-27-2006, 04:18 PM	#3 (permalink)
Thrax Stimulus pkg. available Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,441 Location: Pittsburgh Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:Thrax	Re: Initiating??? 3some First of all, with your first MFM, most likely all three of you will be at least a little nervous. Don't worry about it. It's "first-date" nerves. You've already established that the three of you want this to happen, it's just that the guys are putting the onus on you to start, most likely so they know that when the time comes, you still really want to have this threesome. If you truly are comfortable being aggressive in sexual situations, then use it here to get the ball(ing) rolling. For instance, after you feel you've had enough of the chit-chat, produce a bottle of massage oil, and tell the guys you'd very much like to try it out, but you can't do that in all the clothes you're wearing. The method of getting the clothes off of everyone is up to you, but you can have the guys undress you first -- while kissing and fondling you, of course -- and then while they are still paying attention to you, alternate undressing them. After everybody's nekkid and a little warmed up, then get them to massage you. Or you could walk naked into the room, wave the massage oil bottle around, and say, "Guys, get your clothes off and let's get this thing started." At one MFM, the three of us were standing in the kitchen talking. Hubby was by the fridge getting drinks, and she was standing very close to me. She had her hand on my arm a lot while we were talking. When he handed her her drink, she took it, and leaned back into me, grinding just a little. I put a hand on her hip, and within a few minutes we had to put the drinks down. Hubby came over and kissed her. We gradually got her undressed, and she took turns unbuttoning our shirts, unbuckling belts, and unzipping our jeans. After about 15 minutes we were a skin sandwich, and things proceeded from there to the bedroom. Actually, when a woman wants to initiate MFM activity, the easiest way -- in admittedly a sometimes awkward situation -- is for her to start being flirty. Touch both of the guys a lot, especially the other guy, and not necessarily sexually at first. Just a hand on a bicep or chest or thigh, and some rubbing. Move into it slowly. Tease. The guys will react once they know you are interested in getting things going. If things aren't moving fast enough, gently grab a hand and put it where you want it to be, or intentionally rub up against the guys. Alternate kissing them. In general, guys are easy. If you start it they will cum. If you are more comfortable focusing on the hubby first, make sure that you swiftly bring the other guy into the action, otherwise it could get awkward for the other guy and he might not know how to insinuate himself into the situation. Beckon or call him over, hold onto your hubby but kiss the other guy, etc. The previous are just some ideas from my personal experience as the single male in an MFM. I'm sure some of the others on this Board can give you more and better ideas. And I have to logout now 'cause a thunderstorm is a-comin' in. Good luck! Thrax
	__________________ You get what you play for. Last edited by Thrax; 07-27-2006 at 07:19 PM.

07-27-2006, 05:09 PM	#4 (permalink)
lovefest04 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 183 Location: Northern California	Re: Initiating??? 3some Truth is both guys will be waiting for your advances. And. let's face it guys are a pretty clumbsy bunch, so don't be too nervous. In our household we've initiated many way. We usually start with drinks and conversation, then she'll at some point give me a nice big kiss. Then, I take it from there. Another time, I was with a couple and after bit of conversation, she made a comment about enjoying erotic clothing and she asked if we'd like ot see her new skirt. We said yes, she changed into a very hot, very short, very sexy skirt with as sexy a top and reappeared i the living room. Didn't take much to get it going from there. Once my wife simple removed her shirt in the middle of the conversation. clearly she had had enough talk...we moved right in. None of these advances seemed to me or the other men as weird or clumbsy. I think its always fine to flirt, tease and then just plant a kiss on one of the guys and remove his shirt.. Have fun!!!!!

07-27-2006, 05:10 PM	#5 (permalink)
TNT Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 5,003 Location: baker, fl, usa Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:tblonde312	Re: Initiating??? 3some Thrax gave some excellent advice... I'm kind of aggressive when it comes to our MFM threesomes, so there's never any hesitation on my part...by the time we make it to a room I'm usually carrying my shoes and undessing as we walk in the door. I will usually start kissing on the other man and undressing him first...Ted enjoys watching this and by the time I have the other man undressed and on the bed, he's gotten himself undressed and waiting for us there. Things seem to progress well from then on . Teresa
	__________________ Ted and Teresa No lifetime is enough unless you live it in such a way as to make it enough.

07-27-2006, 05:24 PM	#6 (permalink)
JDApopka Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 198 Location: Apopka, Fl Status: Couple	Re: Initiating??? 3some I myself(her) am not aggressive at all. Hubby will usually inform the other guy of that fact and tell him its ok to suduce me. this also turns the hubby on. I will put on something sexy and sit next to them and chat. some start by rubbing my theigh or some will just go for a kiss once that happens I just go with the flow

07-29-2006, 11:45 AM	#7 (permalink)
meandher2go Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 307 Location: mass Status: Couple	Re: Initiating??? 3some i (me) have never had a problem starting ANY of our 3-somes. someone has to do it.. best way i find is to say.."lets get her undressed and massage her to start with" then 3 seconds later we ALL have our clothes off and get it going.
	__________________ .

07-30-2006, 12:36 AM	#8 (permalink)
twohots4u2 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 183 Location: Arlington, VA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:twohots4u2	Re: Initiating??? 3some On our first MFM we talked a while to get to know him and then the conversation shifted to the hot tub. Then she asked him if he would like to join us in the hot tub. We took our clothes off in the dressing room and put them in a locker. I let the way to the hot tub, got in, and he and I both helped her in. I invited him to join me in making her feel good and it went downhill from there. They probably want you to initiate it to make absolutely sure that you want to do this, and do not want any possiblities of regrets by you later. "In general, guys are easy. If you start it they will cum." What great advice by Thrax! Almost anything will break the ice: a three way hug, sitting between them on a sofa and reaching out and touching both of them, kissing your guy and having your friend join both of you and kissing the other guy when he does, etc. If things are going slow, grap the guys' hands and put the them on your (clothed) breasts. Things will get hot from there.

08-01-2006, 03:14 PM	#9 (permalink)
innocentlyshy10 Registered Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 3 Location: ohio Status: couple	Re: Initiating??? 3some Thanks for all the advice....it finally happened and it was .....all I can say is "Oh my God!!!!" If I had known it would have turned out like this we would have done the MFM thing a long time ago. Just thought I would let you guys know that it happened and it was great....again thanks for all the advice...Becki

08-03-2006, 11:14 PM	#14 (permalink)
jj06 Registered Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 5 Location: london	Re: Initiating??? 3some the 1st mmf 3some me and my wife had i was nervous about the initiating too, me and the guy sat down in the living room waiting for my wife to get back from the store, we were watching tv, i was thinking of what to say and all i could think of to say is "so, your gonna fuck me and my wife tonight then..." so it was just silent, then he just said "nervous? don't worry". soon as my wife got back in, he started kissing her and said "im gonna go give her a test ride, i'll shout you when to come up", sure enough he shouted me to come up and we all had an amazing few days ( we had a swinger weekend together) he did give me some tips afterwards which were: 1 - be confident 2 - if you need an icebreaker - ask the guy if he likes sports, or what kind of music he likes, then sway towards sexual discussion to get both of you in the mood 3 - another way to break the ice is just ask "do you want a drink?" and don't just get the drink and that's it, always follow up the sentence, like "Do you want a drink? Are you sure? Ok, so have you been keeping up with the football?" 4 - when you are all ready, but waiting for someone to initiate, make a joke of the tense situation, like "so...... c'mon then, get them clothes off, the dicks hard and the pussy wet" 5 - if you don't wanna do number 4, then just ask if they'd prefer to do it upstairs or downstairs and after they have finished replying always say "shall we make a start then" and i've followed those tips a few times and it does work well, hope they work well for others

08-04-2006, 08:57 AM	#15 (permalink)
xxoticangel Hot and Horny in ATL Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 381 Location: Atlanta, GA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:xxoticangel	Re: Initiating??? 3some Over the years we have found that the easiest way to start a MFM is if I just kiss the guy in front of my husband. This lets my husband know I am interested in a guy and also lets the guy know that my husband is ok with it.
	__________________ Multiple orgasms are proof that God is a woman.

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