Do you have cyber/phone sex with potential swing partners?

[LFM2]

I'm just very curious about this... remember we are virgins at this!

We were IM'd by another couple near where we live.

I was talking with the female of the couple and she was telling me that her husband *loved* cybering or having phone sex with his possible female partners...

I am really just wondering... Do any of you guys or gals cyber or have phone sex with wanna be partners???

I've never thought cybering or phone sex was even remotely fun... It might be, and I no means want to give the assumption that it isn't -- I have never tried it and I just can't see the merit in it. I just happen to think the real thing just can't be topped.

Please, educate me!!

[dayhiker]

Well, I've had phone sex quite a few times over the years. If you have good at vocalizing and describing what your imagine would be happing sexual if you were together and the other people is good to, then it can be prett good. I remember one woman had such a sexy moan that that was all I needed to hear from her. Dang, I wonder what ever happened to her! LOL I think she got a new boyfreind after that.

its like any skill, it takes some work. If you like learning new skills, then you'll have fun as your fingers/hand do the work.

dayhiker

[FlaPlaya561]

I enjoy talking on the phone with people that i met online, Most call if they are bored or need help with the pc or stuck on an internet problem. I dont mind helping them, if it turns out to be a hot conversation i'll keep going LOL ..I wont meet anyone with atleast a phone call, anyone feel that way too? I mean if we cant talk on the phone ..what makes then think im gonna have sex with them? Am i right?

[good times]

Like a lot of things I think that some people like it and others don't. Can't help convince you it is a good thing because it doesn't interest us in the least. We don't even do internet chat. If someone contacts us wanting to chat or engage in cyber/phone sex we counter that with lets meet somewhere and see if we get along together, if we do then we can do the real thing. So far, everyone that we have declined to chat etc. with has declined to meet which is fine with us. We look at the whole chat/cyber/phone sex request thing as a good indication that we are not compatable.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by LFM2

I'm just very curious about this... remember we are virgins at this!

We were IM'd by another couple near where we live.

I was talking with the female of the couple and she was telling me that her husband *loved* cybering or having phone sex with his possible female partners...

I am really just wondering... Do any of you guys or gals cyber or have phone sex with wanna be partners???

I've never thought cybering or phone sex was even remotely fun... It might be, and I no means want to give the assumption that it isn't -- I have never tried it and I just can't see the merit in it. I just happen to think the real thing just can't be topped.

Please, educate me!!

Are you SURE you were talking to the female half?

Honestly phone sex/cyber does little for us, but we would never do it with someone we never met in person reguardless.

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Are you SURE you were talking to the female half?

No, I'm not sure. I just took her(?) word for it. S/He told me they've "been in the lifestyle for over 12 years and that he *loved* to have phone sex and cyber with his new partners."

I really don't have a problem speaking to anyone on the phone, but the question caught me off guard and I basically gave them the "Thanks but no thanks" sign-off.

We'd never met this couple. S/he found us on us on a personals site and IM'd us. Asked about having phone sex (which just isn't our bag)

If others feel differently, to each their own. It's just not the way we want to go about finding another couple. I'd rather meet in person -- see where it goes from there. facelick

I'm just wondering if other people put this in their normal repertoire for finding another single or couple?

[rpu3]

We don't - I don't even want to chat unless there's a compelling reason to do so (distance, for example). YMMV, but it's just time spent that I probably could have used for more pressing matters (yeah, I know, like looking at the swingers board, but at least I learn something here!)

Rebecca

[JP51]

Agree with the comment how do you even know it was the female half...have a camera on line? Only only phone sex/web stuff occured after we had been with a couple, and it started out with me helping her fix and install a web camera, add new memory, speakers and a mic, so of course she had to test it out... I know I should have recorded that one for future use...

I think the best advice is "lets meet first"...the picture collectors etc, will run at that offer...

[DBL D]

Sorry said toooo much.

[DBL D]

Fem D wanted me to erase/delete her post...because it showed me in a bad light. She doesn't want anyone to think badly of me. Well, since my reputation, on this board at least, has come across as a pretty selfish man, I have left it on. Oh there are other reasons too. One is that our situation will help someone else understand.

I think she makes some valid points...especially when she mentioned that she thought it would be infidelity to do it. I think I would agree with her, except I mentioned that if we were at a party, and I was with someone she didn't know, wouldn't that be the same thing? If I were to have cybersex with someone, I'd want her to know who it was. She has said it holds no interest for her. The subject has been dropped. Now, she feels like she has taken away some private thing by giving her opinion on it. I guess I do feel like I want to do some things in private. Always have. Gets me into trouble though. I have a wonderful wife who now feels like she will never be enough for me. She has said that if it wasn't for the fact that she felt I would leave her, she wouldn't be in the lifestyle at all. This is a very bad impression. I mean why would any of us be swingers if our SO was enough for us? So the question becomes muddled, but I do understand her perspective.

Male D

Sorry...I did take my post off. And yes I did start swinging because he asked. I felt it would be better for our future to try Swinging, But I have been growing and have started to enjoy some of the people we have been with and hope to be with again.I have to say I did get into it for the wrong reason...but I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Fem D

[Mr. Truelove]

DBL D,

Everyone's relationship is unique. I have seen some other people on this board make points as you have suggested, and thats fine if you are comfortable with it.

In my relationship if one of us does something and hides it from the other, there is a little bit of dishonesty there. However, I've done things like that in the past. Heck, I hid the notion of swinging from my wife for quite some time because I was afraid of her reaction if I brought it up. Turns out she fully accepted it! I do from time to time appreciate my privacy. Not so much because I don't want her to know about things, but because I value my individuality. It's hard to explain. I try to let her keep some things to herself as well.

Chances are though if you feel a little bit of guilt for hiding something, you should just bring it out in the open anyway in my opinion. I know you erased what you had posted, but I figured I'd chime in anyway.

[Mr. Truelove]

As for my opinion on the topic at hand...


I don't think cybering or phone sex is for me. I'm a very visual person. and even with webcams I would probably prefer face to face contact.

Mrs. Truelove's opinion might differ though so I might find myself trying it with her someday. Perhaps she'll offer her opinion on it... ahem.

[EvilMJ]

I normally am not one for phone/cyber sex. I have only done it once and that was with a friend I have played with before, with hubby in the room so nothing was hidden. It was just fun. In fact is was probably more funny than fun, he kept teasing me by making a big production of drinking a cold beer (it was a hot night).

So no I probably would not do anything like phone or cyber sex unless I knew the people very well, and even then it would be rare.

[intuition897]

Phone sex would just make me feel like a moron. It just seems so stilted and fake. Scripted. I've never been one for dirty talk anyway. I just can't pull it off. Some people can do it and do it in such a way that it really does raise the heart rate, but I'm just not one of those people.

[avid]

It seems like the general consensus here is that phone/cyber sex isn't well liked.

I had seldom experimented with it until I met my secondary partner. He lives several hours away, and we don't get to see each other as often as we would like. In that situation, it can be very hot. Oh, he says such wonderful, sexy things...It's our Monday morning tradition to start our day with a shared orgasm.

One of my favourite sexy things to do is to send dirty Yahoo messages to my husband's Blackberry as he sits on the commuter train. Poor man, he's not able to stand up after I'm finished with him!

I also have a couple of chat friends that I've been known to get a little frisky with, but I think it probably falls in the category of flirting, rather than cyber sex.

I think the key (and it's been well said) that there is nothing hidden here. All parties with a vested interest are aware of all activities.