Newbies Weren't Ready. Shouldn't they figure that out before contacting us?

Of course we do not condone that type of behaviour. Don't be silly. but as I said, we understand it.

CyberHusband

[anandjeff2]

Originally posted by CanadianCouple:


More and more we're becoming convinced this lifestyle is meant only for the young and beautiful.

I know this feeling. I am not a thin twig, never have been. But I am also not an out of shape person, but when we tell pople my size they all of a sudden decide they dont want to meet or if they have met us they never respond to our messages on AOL or emails. We have yet to find a couple looking for full swap that we are compatable with. We had a few we thought wrere interested but alas..they disappeared as well! It can be annoying but on the other hand I can understand how some people can get cold feet. Many people dont really discuss things as thoroughly as they should(they think they have but not really). It is easy to say you want to but when you face the reality of having sex with another partner it is pretty daunting the first time around. The way you have been let down is the worst. Not calling or showing up without good notice is inexcuseable. It's one thing if they have an emergency crop up but an hour notice is not very nice at all...especially since it was not an emergency in the case of the mother(heck if mine showed up I'd be out the door in a flash)

An

[CanadianCouple]

An --


You pretty much summed things up for me. Getting cold feet is one thing, but the problem we have is people saying one thing and doing another. But cancelling on short notice without a damned good reason is plain ignorance, whether it involves the swinging lifestyle or not. This was the second consecutive weekend they've cancelled.

We keep hearing about people who have tons of swinging partners, and we're at a loss at how they find so many real ones. We have NEVER mis-represented ourselves in any way, always kept appointments, and this is the thanks we get. We once had another couple cancel a sexual liason two days before the date, after making it more than two weeks prior. Janette and I were so looking forward to that, and the disappointment was crushing.

We never did get together with those two.

Dan

[JustAskJulie]

I think a lot of it comes down to what you are looking for. If you were just interested in jumping into bed with people and not interested in friendship with them as well.. then you'd probably find a lot more compatible people.

I know that has been our experience. We know many swingers in our area that would be happy to swing with us.. but they aren't compatible with us as friends... and we aren't into just hooking up for sex.. and if that is all we are looking for we'll usually go to an on-premise club and meet people there for that. Then if we hit it off sexually we have a great night.. and if turns out that we hit it off otherwise as well it's a plus.

At any rate my response was to your statement that you see people talking about having many swing partners.. and my experience is that most of those that do are more concerned with connecting physically than in any other way.

We've been at this for several years and only found 2 or 3 couples we really clicked with for long term swinging partners. We've made a lot of friends that we may or may not swing with, and we've had a few swinging encounters that never went past the first night. So what you are dealing with is not uncommon but probably more normal than you realize.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[CanadianCouple]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie:
I think a lot of it comes down to what you are looking for. If you were just interested in jumping into bed with people and not interested in friendship with them as well.. then you'd probably find a lot more compatible people.

If that's the case, many people aren't being honest in their ads. Almost without exception, they state they're looking for people with whom they can form a friendship as well as a sexual relationship.

Truth be told, after the long string of personal fiascos here, I think I'd rather just find couples looking for sex and nothing else at this point. That's what I told Janette after they cancelled yesterday -- that on-site clubs are looking better and better to me. Hop on, hop off. This is getting too much like dating for me.

Dan

[JustAskJulie]

Originally posted by CanadianCouple:
If that's the case, many people aren't being honest in their ads. Almost without exception, they state they're looking for people with whom they can form a friendship as well as a sexual relationship.

Those ads may still be true.. just because two couples are looking for friendship doesn't mean they are going to hit it off together.. but that wasn't my point. My point was that by deciding that you want friendship instead of just sex then you put yourself in a position where you have to have more in common with this couple than just a physical attraction.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com