newbutcurious 15 Posted October 25, 2012 Ok, so me and the wife are early 30's. Rock Solid Marriage, very good sex life. Very Open minded. During sex we talk about different things, and she loves the MFM fantasy, and i indulge, and then lead to us and another couple. we both loved it and toyed with it in bed for a while. So it became a more serious "would you, i dont know would you" kind of thing. and one night at a bar it came out that a friend of ours were having the same talks, and led to well would you guys, so on and so on. It was a turn on to talk about it, and to find they thought about it too.. Push comes to shove, we all sat down, all are very into the idea and we set a date, we have kids and busy weekends so it was like 5 weeks away. They are great friends, which makes us all feel better about it. There is a sexual attraction between all where that works, and i know for me and my wife, we are both really excited and gets us both off, OFTEN. So we decided two do it seperately, and its a week away, we are all very excited and eager, but i have a mix of anxiety, arrousal, nervous, all at once and wife re assures me all will be fine, and when she second gueses i do for her, is this normal? Id assume or a bad sign.. Quote Share this post Link to post
naughty_kitten 56 Posted October 25, 2012 Totally normal. Sounds like you guys have a great relationship. Quote Share this post Link to post
newbutcurious 15 Posted October 25, 2012 we do and its exciting hearing her talk about how bad she wants to suck his cock, or how bad she wants his wife to suck mine Its just in a very shot time from now i will be at a bar with my best friends wife flirting, drinking, and fucking while she does the same..super exciting but anziety ridden as well. Quote Share this post Link to post
newbutcurious 15 Posted October 25, 2012 and its a crazy turn on the other day, we were at their house and she was looking and we had to run home to fuck like animals befoew we got inside. Quote Share this post Link to post
angelkin 1,326 Posted October 25, 2012 Nervousness is normal:) Hope you enjoy your adventure, do stop back to let us know how it went! Quote Share this post Link to post
newbutcurious 15 Posted October 25, 2012 Ok, I was worried this was my brain telling me "hey guy dont do this" All four of us are counting the minutes it seems like....And I will be happy to come back and fill you in. From expierience once me and her break that barrier from platonic to dirty does it go away? Quote Share this post Link to post
HanAndLeia 66 Posted October 25, 2012 I was in this same exact situation. Here are the details of what happened. Note, your results will obviously not match mine, but its a story set in the same circumstances and I like sharing. Our friends, a married couple, just like us, with kids and everything. We had been friends with them for over 10 years. Used to hang out almost every Saturday night (pre kids). Talk of swapping wives always got us hot and after enough talking it over amongst the four of us we decided to do it. I got hooked/addicted afterwards. It felt soooo good, I couldn't stop thinking about the next time, and then the next time. Thoughts of the other woman overwhelmed me. She indulged me and between our weekly get together a was sexting me and sending me explicit pics of herself. I thought we had a really great thing going, but then one day they dropped off the map. They wouldn't answer calls or the doorbell anymore. After about 4 months of trying to make contact we gave up. Found out two years later they got a divorce and split up immediately after our last encounter. Turns out their marriage wasn't that good. So my wisdom to you is: 1. You might find that your new partner is a much better sexual match. You might start to crave her more than your spouse. Have a plan for how to handle that. 2. Just because your marriage is strong doesn't mean the other couple's marriage is strong. Don't be surprised if their marriage gets unstable and they don't want to see you anymore. That's all I got. Have fun, but accept the risk you may lose te friendship. (The sex might be worth it though) Cheers Han Quote Share this post Link to post
newbutcurious 15 Posted October 25, 2012 me and the wife have spoke about that. They have been married 12 years, and she was a bit more hesitant but now really excited. Its like she only saw herself as mom, and wife, and their sex life dwindled. They have been going three times a day for past 3 weeks. Shes getting very excited. Me and my wife reliaze that if it goes bad the worst case is that we lose them as friends. But all willing to take the risk, Me and wifey are also very set on this is just them, see how it goes one time thing for fun, but we also know each other and if we have fun, and it works for us..it may progress. Quote Share this post Link to post
HanAndLeia 66 Posted October 26, 2012 Just don't get obsessed with the other female if she ends up being a better lover than your spouse. you may come to find out she's a better match for you then your spouse. Instead of stalking her via text messages, learn to be happy with what you have. I've matured quite a bit since then and have realized now the greatness of what I have with Leia and no longer dwell on what I don't have with the other woman. Quote Share this post Link to post
newbutcurious 15 Posted October 26, 2012 yea i was worried about that And Im not too worried. we are all friends, and even if she is amazing shes not my wife, and she feels the same. Quote Share this post Link to post
mauijanedoe 1,414 Posted October 26, 2012 It took me two tries to attend my first swing club. The first time I threw up in the parking lot and went home. I'm normally about as jittery as a granite boulder, so, really, I think nerves are pretty normal. Quote Share this post Link to post
ViSexual 1,006 Posted October 26, 2012 It's going to change a lot the moment you're alone with the other wife. So far, you've probably always been a foursome, right? Keep it fun and sexy! Take it very slow and don't assume, or make it appear that you assume, anything is going to happen. Talk about what your spouses are probably going to do or are doing. And, let her know that you're nervous as hell and don't start worrying about being able to perform! OK, and, enjoy the hell out of it! The second and third times will be just as good! I envy you! Quote Share this post Link to post
cplnuswing 4,711 Posted October 26, 2012 Totally normal to be filled with nervousness and anxiety. Just accept it as a comes with the territory sort of thing and try to manage it instead of dwelling on wondering why you can't make it go away, which usually turns into a vicious cycle. We choose not to try to make swingers out of friends, but there are others how are comfortable with that and have success with it. It sounds like you have thought it through and have recognized where things might go wrong with that scenario, so that should help. Quote Share this post Link to post
newbutcurious 15 Posted October 26, 2012 Yea, I noticed. The more I try to control it the worse it gets. I'm a fan of being in control over my emotions and feelings. And although they are mostly excitement it's still ridden with anxiety. I have been just relaxing saying once I am out with another woman, have a drink it will get easier and nature will take its course. I see why you wouldn't want to make swingers out if friends, but we don't think, at least as of now, it will be a total lifestyle but were both excited to have something new, and to explore those 'first time' feelings again. And it's fun that we can talk about it and do it together. They were on the same page and we all felt comfortable with it as a group, and although it may lead to some strange moments when we all hang out after, we are hoping we are all grown ups it's just sex and we can laugh our way through them. The waiting has given us the chance to really think about the what ifs and how we would react So now it's jut the act of leaving my house, pickin her up and going to see where the night leads us. Quote Share this post Link to post
naughty_kitten 56 Posted October 26, 2012 Don't forget it will only be as awkward as you make it. Quote Share this post Link to post
newbutcurious 15 Posted October 26, 2012 Yea, were all light hearted about it. We are both very sexual people and this is really exciting for us both. I think it will be a Lot of fun getting to flirt and explore again. And know wife feels the same. Now I just have to make it through the rest of the week! Quote Share this post Link to post
fallon couple 20 Posted October 27, 2012 are you planning on all four being together?? ie same room full swap or you and his wife go one way while she and him go another? I would highly recommend you all play in the same area. watching you spouse enjoying themselves is a huge turn on also you can see their reaction to the situation if their might be any signs of jelously or other problems Quote Share this post Link to post
bbarnsworth 2,534 Posted October 27, 2012 I have been just relaxing saying once I am out with another woman, have a drink it will get easier and nature will take its course. One, maybe two drinks are fine. But please, don't become on of the ones we hear about here from time to time, the ones who drink too much and serious problems arise. If you have to drink to excess to play, you shouldn't be playing. I see why you wouldn't want to make swingers out if friends, but we don't think, at least as of now, it will be a total lifestyle I suspect you might find otherwise Nothing to be scared about though. Quote Share this post Link to post
newbutcurious 15 Posted October 27, 2012 One, maybe two drinks are fine. But please, don't become on of the ones we hear about here from time to time, the ones who drink too much and serious problems arise. If you have to drink to excess to play, you shouldn't be playing. I suspect you might find otherwise Nothing to be scared about though. I only meant one or two to do something while we sit and relax, I do love to drink, but i already said 2 is my max here! Why do you suspect I may find otherwise? And glad there is nothing to be scared of. Quote Share this post Link to post
bbarnsworth 2,534 Posted October 27, 2012 Why do you suspect I may find otherwise? And glad there is nothing to be scared of. Most people with strong, stable relationships find the lifestyle a very rewarding and enjoyable experience. Think of this analogy; you've never had ice cream before. One day, sometime tells you about it and you and your wife decide to try it next weekend. But, it'll just be the once, right? Never to try other flavors of ice cream? Other ice cream parlors? No, just this one place, this one flavor. That'll be all, right? But, I reinforce that this is nothing to be scared of. You're not about to step on the top of a slippery slop with no hope but to fall into the abyss or something Quote Share this post Link to post
CaptainAndNurse 17 Posted November 6, 2012 Did you meet up? How did it go for y'all? ~Captain Quote Share this post Link to post
newbutcurious 15 Posted November 6, 2012 So we didn't do it, not that we didn't want to but we all live in staten Island on the shore, so its been a tough week. We kind of lost movitation but we are shooting for friday! will be back saturday to let you know! Quote Share this post Link to post
Fundamental Law 2,816 Posted November 7, 2012 Hope you are safe and with power on S.I. Hope tomorrow brings less weather-drama... Quote Share this post Link to post
newbutcurious 15 Posted November 11, 2012 Hope you are safe and with power on S.I. Hope tomorrow brings less weather-drama... OK WE DID IT... so we did it, it was awesome. we thought that there would be some awkwardness, but none, very very easy. the strangest thing was seeing a women ive known for years in a new light saying fuck me harder, or whimpering as my cock was in her. got home wife had a blast too, she took a shower and we went at it with each other... all in all good time Quote Share this post Link to post
SW_PA_Couple 4,019 Posted November 11, 2012 . . . got home wife had a blast too, she took a shower and we went at it with each other... all in all good time Amazing phenomenon, isn't it? Happens to almost every couple. Congratulations on "doing it". Quote Share this post Link to post
bbarnsworth 2,534 Posted November 12, 2012 :cheer: Congratulations Quote Share this post Link to post
newbutcurious 15 Posted November 25, 2012 ok so this is going great, things worked out well. and we went away with that same couple the next weekend, Me and wifey were going at it hoping they heard and came in...they didn't i even went to let them know...but he was sleeping...me and wife were looking fwd to same bed foursome/swap ? who knows...this past week she's been very excited about the idea of her me and another man... Quote Share this post Link to post