What are your rules?

[K2]

I would like to hear what your personal rules are for swinging. Everyone has their own set of values and they range from very strict to very liberal.

It would be great to have your input so we could perhaps think of some things that we are overlooking that we should be more concerned about.

Personally for me and my partner, here are our top rules not neccessarily in any order:

1. Both of us need to be ok with each of the other people. We have a 'secret' way of letting each other know.

2. Swinging takes place in open setting unless we have swung before and we are VERY comfortable with the other couple.

3. No condoms, No intercourse.

4. A couple of drinks or a doobie is ok. More than that is not.

[dave_susie2001]

Like most couples, our "list" or rules has been drastically reduced over time. Our current rules are probably pretty permanent though.

1. No expectations. If it happens, it happens.
2. We swing together or not at all.
3. All people involved must "click" with each other.
4. Anyone/everyone has the right to say no with no reprecussions.

Ok...we could go on with the "guidelines" but these are it in a nutshell.

[Cheekyimp1]

Well we haven't been in a couple to couple situation yet. But these are our general rules.
No. 1 - don't fall in love
No. 2 - no condom no sex
No. 3 - no one-on-one sex
No. 4 - no one-on-one meetings
No. 5 - he or she has to approve of the potential partner.
If the opportunity to be with another couple comes up then we will probably discuss more rules.

[centralbamababy]

Here's ours:

1. no expectations.
2. no glove, no love.
3. stay inside the comfort zone.
4. no means no.
5. together or not at all.
6. if the oppertunity arises that we can play seperate, the other must approve of the potential partner.

That's just us. <img border="0" alt="[fun]" title="" src="graemlins/fun.gif" />

~CentralBamaBaby <img border="0" alt="[kiss]" title="" src="graemlins/kiss1.gif" />
<img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" />

[Quin]

Well, believe it or not, even us single people in swinging have rules/boundries. Mine are:

No condom, no sex.
Always respect the couples and their rules/boundries.
Absolutely NO unescorted married males or even suspect *single* males.
No drunks or dopeheads (like K2, a drink or two...okay. A joint...okay. Cocaine and other hard narcotics...NO WAY).
Absolutely NO one on one (meaning just with them in a private room no one else present) with any man.
And if I'm going to do a gang bang (which isn't all that frequent...maybe once, twice, three times a year), I must to hear the partner's verbal okay for the male.
Of course, No means No.
Out of all those the very most important to myself is the second one.

Quin

[K2]

Gee Quin, you are busting me out as a dope fiend or something. <img border="0" alt="[sad]" title="" src="graemlins/sad.gif" /> I haven't smoked pot in years and I don't even drink. <img border="0" alt="[Blowjob]" title="" src="graemlins/bj.gif" /> Of course back in the day I was known to have my vices. Now my only vices are pretty ladies in varying degrees of nakedness.

[OhioCouple]

Originally Posted by Quin

<strong>[*]No drunks or dopeheads (like K2, a drink or two...okay. A joint...okay. Cocaine and other hard narcotics...NO WAY).

K2,

I think you misunderstood what Quin was espressing. I believe she was saying she agreed that "like you" a couple of drinks and/or a joint was okay. The heavier drugs were an absolute NO NO! At least that was the way I understood it.

Lori

[K2]

Your right! I reread it and that is probably what she meant. LOL

New rule to add to my list of rules...

1a. Try and remember that what I read is not exactly what people meant to say. Too bad we can't see facial expression when people type stuff. That would take care of a lot of problems with interpreting the posts.

[Alura]

We play almost only with married couples who also play very little and never do anything that the other is unaware of. Anything is possible if we talk about it beforehand and agree to it. No single men. Single women? We've never had the opportunity to address that question.

Now, Quin? Sometimes Mr. Alura reads one of her posts and has the desire to drive to Ohio, take her in his arms, kiss her deeply and waltz her all the way across the Great Plains, ravishing her body under the stars on top of Black Mesa, (the highest point in Oklahoma)! If those damned rattlesnakes didn't live there!

Alura

[JustAskJulie]

Another good question for all of those who have joined us recently

[Lorrie]

In our Polyamory Lifestyle, our agreements are:

1. Unprotected sex with us, but condoms (vaginally and anally)with all others.

2. We give advance notice to each other about our next sex partner, or afterward.

3. We talk about the sexual experience.

4. Sex with friends only (doesn't have to be mutual friends)--no strangers.

[WesternSwing]

My wife and I are new to this and we have set down a couple rules and a safe word in case things get out of hand and either of us is uncomfortable.

We've set rules regarding what sex acts are off limits with others because we want to keep something for each other only.

As I wrote in my last post, we have decided for now to play only with couples, no singles. At least the rule presently reads "No singles unless we never intend to have contact with them again." We feel couples are not interested in stealing someone else's spouse, and we have a family and don't need some deranged, horny, freaky guy stalking us. Females may be a different story since the stalking thing is not as big a concern with women, but this is something we'll have to review as we become more experienced.

We've also set the rule of no coworkers since we don't need the gossip and publicity with people that don't understand.

So what are some of your rules? What rules did you start with? What have you added? And what have you amended? I'm sure many have had a bad experience of one kind or another that either amended an existing rule or created a new one. And we want to be able to consider as many as possible to prevent us from falling into a bad situation. Of course, one person's "bad" situation can be someone else's fantasy. But you get the idea.

"No singles unless we never intend to have contact with them again."

Good rules but I just had to laugh at that one!

Our very first extramarital experience we had was suppose to follow the same rules.

It was going to be a MFM but we didnt know who yet.
But it HAD to be someone we would NEVER see again.

We had a very good mutual single male friend who was getting ready to move. So we went out to the bars with him and a bunch of other people as well. We knew this guy was leaving town but we were not quite sure when. That night when we were partying it came up that he was leaving in two days and we would never meet again. Mrs naughty's eyes lit up!!

She whispers to me "Did you hear that, we will never see him again!"

Well that planted the seed and by the end of the night we found ourselves alone with him in his apartment.

We brought up the idea of having him watch us have sex and to take pics with our digital camera. He was game. After a while of watching and taking pics we invited him to join in and of course he had no problem with that. It was basicaly just foreplay with him but this was our VERY first experience with any of this and after that night my cock stayed hard for a week!!

Anyway,
We were not suppose to see him again but his move slipped a few weeks so we eneded up seeing him several more times before he left. We even had him over for dinner.

We are still good friends even though we dont see each other but we talk a few times a year and send christmas cards and that kind of stuff.

[Buck]

Originally posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty
Good rules but I just had to laugh at that one!
It was basicaly just foreplay with him but this was our VERY first experience with any of this and after that night my cock stayed hard for a week!!

Anyway,
We were not suppose to see him again but his move slipped a few weeks so we eneded up seeing him several more times before he left. We even had him over for dinner.

We are still good friends even though we dont see each other but we talk a few times a year and send christmas cards and that kind of stuff.

Well, that was a great story! That's the type of thing I hope happens with me and my spouse, a first time experience with someone we can trust and feel comfortable with!

They say patience is a good virtue. Well, I'm being patient....and hoping!

[meowkittyhascla]

We have basic rules like no pain or degradation, no pets, no children, or bathroom games, but we also live by these rules.
1. honesty
2. no ex-lovers
3. not in our home town
4. and never never ever involve the children, directly or indirectly.
5. use protection
I have no problem of hubby going out on his own if he feels the need and have given him permission, (I had to have surgery in the last two weeks and can't have sex for 4 to 6 weeks), so he is free to play. I just want to know with who and when. We have never had any problems using these guidelines and we are upfront with any couples or singles we meet up with. So far..no one has complained.